4th anniversary coming up and not looking forward to it

[ehm doubleyou]

My g/f and I have not been doing to well lately....our relationship is on the rocks and our 4th anniversary is coming up next week....The thing is is that I feel as though this year has been the most dullest and not the greatest of years between us....I love her dearly but I question her love for me. I am at the point where I tried to make things work but she seems like she is not putting any effort into our relationship....which has caused me to not look forward to our 4th anniversary....I am questioning whether I should even bother planning anything...why put money into it when I feel like being taken for granted? We would usually plan in advance what we would do on our anniversary, but with a week til the anniversary....nothing has even been mentioned....I wonder if she is planning to do anything for me...I am always generous in giving ...but this time around I dont feel generous at all. I just do not want to spend the 100 bucks for dinner and the 50 dollar flowers when I feel like our realtionship is in a void. I kind of want to have the flowers on standby and same with the dinner... and not say anything....just to see if she does anything for me....like even make me some cookies....i dont know ....I just wish she would do something for me out of the ordinary instead of saying that she would pay half for dinner cop out cause she is too busy to do anything proper for me....heck I wish she would pay for dinner once...Thats me beef....is there any advice anyone can give me on this besides sitting down with her to talk it out...cause I do not know how much more talking I have to do with her without it becoming a broken record of concerns. Has anyone else gone through something similiar? take care everyone

 

mw

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

Sorry to hear your relatuionship is on the rocks. Hugs to you. Take a step back for a moment and think about why your relationship with her has been not the greatest this past year. What is not happening or what could be happening? I think communication is the key. Talk to her, ask her what she thinks about what to do for your anniversary. Maybe just get her a card and write down your feelings in it and a single rose. Nothing to over the top because you don't want to do stuff your heart is truly not into but do something simple instead because you certainly do care about her and this relationship.

[ehm doubleyou]

thanks for your reply kellbell...but i already did all the thinking about the relationship as possible, i do not know what else to do besides breaking up with her. I think she is scared of breaking up with me cause she feels as though she will be making a big mistake. I just feel like the boyfriend who is on the side in case she falls...it depresses me to feel like this...breaking up with her is on my mind even though i want the relationship to work...its just that she has put up all these insecurity walls up which is really unecessary but thats one piece of the puzzle. I will consider your suggestion about getting her a card with a rose...but then I think that will catch her off guard cause i usually get her more than that....i am pretty confused right now.

[Demond34]

Check your PM bro....

 

She expects way to much if a card and rose will catch her off guard. But I really think thats what you should do. Set some boundaries for yourself and do whats ultimately best for you and your well-being. I know you've exhausted almost every option except breaking up and that's a very hard decision to make especially for how much you care for her. I wrote a book to you, in the PM.. Take a look and get back to me. Keep your head up man, you're living and thats all we can ask for.......

 

I like the new setup on the site here by the way, not bad.....haven't been here in awhile, sorry....