had a threesome but it wasn't what i expected

[shiminimo]

i'm dating a girl that's bi and she suggested to me that we have a threesome with the other girl she likes. i was like awesome, i get two girls....it wasn't like that at all.. my gf liked making out with her gf more than she did with me.

[quackie]

i would be hurt if my sex partner paid more attention to the other person.

[combat_barbie]

Have you ever considered that your girlfriend might actually be a lesbian trying to make it work with a guy? This happens more than you think because society puts so much pressure on the heterosexual relationship she might have been trying to force something by justifying her feelings by thinking she was jsut bisexual. Just an opinion nobody could really say fro sure why she did it...this would jsut be my guess if she is normally a considerate lover and person. Howeverer this is always the risk you take when you invite someone else into your bed. Jsut talk to her about it.

[Joe19999]

Reason why threesomes is a dangerous precendence for a real relationship and not one on tv.

[ShySoul]

In fantasy, a threesome always sounds great. What could be better then two girls at once? There is this idea that both will be pleasuring you, that you can have twice the enjoyment. But thats fantasy, not reality.

 

There is bound to be complications in such a situation. If you weren't the jealous one, she may have been. And now that you have opened that door, do you think that she may want it again? If so, how would you feel about it?

 

You need to honestly communicate your concerns with your partner. Talk it over and tell her if you feel this was a mistake. Work it out with her.

[Day_Walker]

I think if you are going to have a threesome then you need to be comfortable with all the parties involved. Otherwise its going to seem like the threesome is one-sided. If you arent comfortable with the other party then you are only going to be directing your actions towards one person. Threesomes dont happen like they do on television or the movies. There typically are some mechanical things that need to be done in order to insure that all the parties are going to have a memorable experience. Since you already know that you are comfortable with the girl you have been dating its necessary to focus on the other party, remember the other party is whats making this a threesome.

 

It is highly possible for threesomes to turn out bad just because the nature of the act. The one problem that I have with this situation is that the girl you are dating brought in a girl that she likes. This should have thrown up a red flag and let you know her true intentions that it would seem that you were the 3rd wheel instead of a meaningful participant. It also takes some knowledge in order to have a successfull threesome and that means that its perfectly fine when the girls are making out that means that you are free to do other things. A threesome is one of those situations where it makes it very difficult to enjoy the experience if you are too passive. You have to take some kind of control and that can be foreign to some people.

[Derek]

Is being a voyeur so bad? That may be all that's left...

 

 

I don't hold much hope for the original relationship lasting...

 

Personally, I think if a partner (guy or girl) wants/has intimacy (sexual or otherwise) outside of the relationship (guy or girl) then it's already going down a bad path with an obvious end.

 

Even worse when the expectations of one partner is mismatched and it's not communicated about. (i.e. no ground rules)

 

 

[darkblue]

You had a threesome. Had you have thought about what could have happened - it would have crossed your mind that she could have taken a preference to to the third party.

 

If you don't like it - learn how to become involved; or don't have threesomes.

[Dr]

I do see your point but assuming this won't be a regular occurrence does it matter? - She's fulfilled a fantasy which probably won't happen often and she probably needed to make the most of it.

 

Can I ask? - Did you get to penetrate both and do what you wanted with them?

[LostnIL]

Hey shiminimo,

 

 

My wife was with a girl before we got together, she was in a LTR with her, that lasted nearly 3 years, before I came in and stole her Alot of the things that attracted me to her, was the fact she was with a girl, I find that extremely hot, and I've even from time to time had fantasy's about us in bed with another girl, we've even talked dirty about it during sex, but I've never once seriously considered bring that fantasy to life... I don't think that mentally at this point in the relationship I could handle it. We've been together a little over a year, and our first child, my son is 2 months old.

 

 

From what I've read, most couples who do the threesome thing, regardless of rather or not one has bi-sexual feelings, normally regret it which is the reason why I'd never do it.

 

 

- Lost

[parvati]

i disagree that threesomes are a failure.

 

As one mentioned earlier, one has to be in control. Well, in my case it wasn't two girls but two men with me. Of course you need to know at least one of them well and the other shud be understanding to rythm himself to our tune.