today is the day that i let go!

[sukerbut]

its been a month since my ex dumpoed me..and it hurt it hurt so bad..but today i realized is the beginning of a new great life...i even sent her an e-mail: i will share it with you heartbroken people because i think it might help some of you in letting go..it reads like this: hey grogeous how are you? ijust wanted to shoot you this e-mAIL TO CLEAR SOME THINGS UP! first and foremost i want you to know you are and will continue to be one of my most favorite people in the world! even though we cant really communicate i want you o hold that in your heart. i dont know were to begin but here goes. my love for you is endless for some reason you were the one for me! and i undrstand unfortunately our timimg was off. you aRE 22 years old and just starting your life.. i am 30 and looking for that special someone to enrich my life. the fantasy was great for a while but i knew unfortunately our timing was off.(i still believe you and me could of been real happy but not now) you are just beggining your journey in this unbeleivable thing called life..so many things to explore...so many new people to meet. i was a fool to think i could sweep you off your feet. you need to live life .. the marriage thing sounded great at first but after a lsome time passed you needed to be free. how can you grow if you have me a 30 year old man breathing down your neck. the pressure was to much and i understand. and that is why this time around i let you be..that my lady cuddle bug is true love..i understood and i hope you realize that.. the next point of this e-mail is to thank you! THANK YOU so much because of you things are changing for me..i believe for every loss there needs to be a gain. i again found myself i have not been totally free in almost 9+years ..always jumping from relationship to relationship! at first this lonely feeling was a bit scary but as time paassed i am embrasing myself and life.i for a long time have been stuck in this rut! i dont know what irt was but babe i am out of it. all becasue of you. you made this happen..in a month i have bettered myself by 100% i am back in the gym and lost a significant amount of weight and for the first time in a long time i am HAPPY! happy to be alive. my attitude has changed i am me again. not this grumpy old man..i am making new friends i am suprisingly nice to every one becasue i finally am in love with myseslf. this change has transended into so many aspects of my life...social, work and family once again my love for you will never die. you will always be in my heart and you will always be very special to me. once again thank you for bringing life back to me...unfortunately because our relationship died i learned to live life again. that is very powerful .. and that is why i love you so much...because you from day one made me become better as a human being ..i hope everthing is good for you..i wish only the best of luck and prosperity in your work relationships and family life!!!

yours truly cuddlebug..(theree is no need for a reply) oh and one last time I LOVE YOU

folks i am officially a free man..no longer chained down by my emotions and my disparity....dont get me wrong i will feel the pain from time to time but i am finnaly happy . i hope my post helped any body out..and if oyu have any comments please feel free to submit them..oh and please forgive my spelling

[RooferGirl23]

Its sooo great to hear posts like this b/c it will show others that there indeed is light at the end of the break-up tunnel. Time heals all i always say, and sunshine and happiness DO return.. you just have to let it.

I am very happy for you!! spread the joy!! (and enjoy your freedom! ;-) lol)

[Jut]

Sukerbut

I appreciate your effort in healing and your candidness in opening up to your ex. But somehow i get a feeling from your email that you are trying to show your ex that you are a happy and free man, a changed person, a better person. Are you sure you are not subconsciously doing it to want her back. Personally if i right this kind of email i would not be sending it and sending it would make me wonder about the reply i may get(or why i didnt get a reply). You have improved for yourself not her and they dont have any right to know what you have been upto. Ex means past, you learn from it but you dont relive it.

Just curious coz i dont think you shoul dlet go the hard work you put in for a month of NC. You seem to be holding strong but personally this would set me back.

 

Again this is all my personal opinion and i dont mean to judge anyone.

[Vert]

I agree, I was wondering this too. It's wonderful that you've come to this conclusion and are "free", but telling her about it does seem to have that aura of "look at me now, don't you want me again?"As Jut said, I'm not trying to judge either, but maybe that should have been a personal letter to yourself and not to her.

[sukerbut]

nope you sre wrong! i wrote this to tlet go..hense the no need for a reply statement.. i dont want her back..i am happy with myself and this email gave me closure...since she did not...i repeat it was not a pathetick plea but me being happy with me

[moondog627]

Listen to Vert and Jut. I sent my ex an email 2 months ago (1 month after the breakup) just to apologize for certain things and laying out how/where I felt the relationship went wrong (didn't place any blame directly on her). I told her I was not asking for her back and that I wished her well. It felt great sending it at first. Never got a response. Started to bug out (wondering if she even got it or not), then realized I knew the password to her email and that sent me into a vicious cycle on it's own. And I was doing great up till that moment. Only now, two months later, am I back to that moment right before I sent the email. It will feel great when you send it at first. But chances are you will relapse a few days later. I was bugging out hard-core a few days ago wanting to send ANOTHER letter (this one out of anger) but thankfully I've listened to everyone and held back. Sit on it man. The urge will pass. Stay strong, stick to NC. She doesn't deserve to hear from you. GIVE HER NOTHING!

[sukerbut]

every situation is diffrent..th e e-mail was sent already..and if i relapse you guys will be the first to read it on the posts...but i dont think so

[smurf]

I remember that this happened to me about 3 years ago. It was hard for her to end it with me but she did it anyways and I was emotionally hurt for about a year. Even though we were apart we still talked and when we both let go we hung around each other and we both realized that we were better off being friends then lovers and to this day she is my best friend.

[L8RISER]

Our situations are NOT different, Sukerbut. It's ALL the same. We've been there and done that. Life is a lot easier when you realize that your going through the exact same s*** that everyone else on this planet has at somepoint. In fact, our break up stories are probably the one thing that all us total strangers have in common.

 

To let go is to not care.

[hockeyboy]

well i guess it is to late now but i was going to say, great email, but save it, dont send it...and if in a month you still felt the same way then go right ahead. but what is done is done.

[Echo]

I agree with L8!

 

Indifference is the ultimate goal with an ex. When you feel absolutely NOTHING..is when you've healed.

[sukerbut]

guys ... i am sorry to say this but you are all absolutly right...she does not DESERVE NOTHING from me..i was having a moment of revelation this morning..i mean i still feel the same way..but the bottom line is..she is going to read it shrug her shoulders and go hang out with her new man. but in my defense...it feels good to me..i feel like i have closure even if i fabricated it myself. i will keep you all posted...dont you worry..This sight has helped me out a lot...and yes this morning i was feeling great and as the weekend is coming around i am starting to get a little depressed..but i will snap out of it.

[sukerbut]

the problem is this..i will never be indifferent towards her...we were apart for 3 years..and then when we met up again i used to see her at clubs ..(i was in a relationship back then) i would always get the butterflies in my stomach...another problem is that my cousin is dating her cousin for 5 years now..and we both run in a similar social circle..i cant right him off but every time i see him .. it hurts becasue i know he is around her and i am not..it just SUCKS

[Relationship Coach]

Sukerbut,

 

Your email to her was done with good intentions, a thank you and a clean break. I do have to agree with others here that subconsciously you were floating balloons and putting a noose around your neck for future issues. When you tell a former partner that they are "the one", you set yourself up as a liar when you do actually meet "the one". Women in general have great memories and she will certainly take a shot at you when you do find "the one". Telling her over and over that you lover her still and thanking her for changing you is bad. I know the purpose of this letter was to make you feel better but I would suggest in the future writing her a letter telling her everything about how you feel and how you hurt, then take the letter along with any and all pictures of her and burn them in a fireplace. The point is, she doesn't need to hear your words, you do. The sun will shine brighter for you than ever before as you move forward in your life and meet "the one".

 

Best of Luck!

[sukerbut]

aAAAARHHHHHHHHH THIS SUKS