I acknowledge my mistakes

[AC874]

To all:

 

I have acknowledged the mistakes I have made. After 3 weeks from the break-up, I can honestly see why things went sour (my constant insecurities and the lack of a god centered relantionship).

 

I love this girl with every bit of my soul, how do I approach her about my mistakes?

 

Looking for some advice

[Jut]

It takes two hands to clap. WHile it is very possible that you might have greater share in the cause for the collapse of the relationship i am sure something could have been wrong at the other end too. WHen we are heartbroken the mind assumes the other person to be IDEAL.

I would suggest take some more time off but if you really have thought about it then go to her and tell her honestly what you think you did wrong.

But dont sound like you are whining to get her back by lowering your self esteem. It should be an honset analysis which should also involve listening. Dont go in expecting her to come back, once you are finished analyzing, get up and go home, without expecting or asking for an answer. Doing that will screw up everything.

Believe me if you swinged right the ball is going to go for the fence.

[JCAM22]

I was in a relationship with a girl much much younger than I.....I realized my faults and I started to take the blame for our failed relationship....trust me, it's not your fault...I treated my girl like a princess...but than I started to realize "what does this girl have to offer me"....well she dumped me and now I feel like crap....but when you think about it....is all the pain worth it?? Weather it was your fault or hers, if 2 people were meant for each other, you compromise and discuss all the problems in a relationship....my girl would sit there quietly and not say a word...I would always ask her "what's bothering you baby" or "talk to me sweetheart"....she just ran away......look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself "is all the grief worth it"....yeah it hurts, it gonna hurt for a while...but if you were meant to be, you would still be with her.....my mother always said never chase a woman "when a woman says no, than it really is no"

[AC874]

But sometimes people need to take a break to realize things.

 

There is nothing black and white about an amicable break-up... especially when you both love eachother.

[sukerbut]

hey i am in the same boat...i was in a realtionship with a girl 8 years younger than me..22 me 30 . she broke up with me last month..i have beat myself up to no end to find out why this relationship crumbled in a matter of a month and a half. was too possesive/controling? the real reason is that they are too young and immature to realize what they have. or how to handle a real relationship..every person is diffrent i know but the truth is at 22 .. she just did not want to be commited to one relationship. she had multiple male friends call her and that was a no no for me..she bought up marriage in july and then probably ralized..holy crap i am 22 whaT am i doing? this guy is 30 and he wants to settle down soon..i dont wnt that..so every little argument she kept close to her heart and started buliding up a wall.. eventually she had enough ammo to make her self feel good about the break up. then she busted the infamous " i dont love you like you love me" that one really hurts..i also got.."i cant ever imagine having kids or even living with you" 2 months prior she was telling every body how much she loved me and how we were going to get married. it sucks it hurts but the realization is that i should of not been so serious wth a 22 year old

[moondog627]

sukerbut I'm in the situation as you brother. I'm 27 she's 22. 2-3 months before the breakup it was all the usual stuff from throughout the relationship about kids, marriage, etc. She probably freaked out that things were happening so fast and like your ex she started to turn cold and would create petty arguments and then use that to make it easier for her to end things. I got the "I'm not in love with you anymore" and "I don't see a future with you". The truth is 99% of the time men/women of that age don't know what the hell they want. Trust me, I won't make the same mistake of messing with someone that young again. At least not seriously.

[sukerbut]

moon dog .. the problem is i ahve yet to learn my lesson..this girl is my kryptonite..thisis the 3 rd time around..once when she was 17 then she came back at 19 and finally i had not seen her in 3 years and we meet up at a club and have a wonderful time...we went 17 months dude..we had some real good moments..now she is talking to her ex that dumped her after 6 months..kicker is he could not even get a hard on in those 6 months he was wiht her...she told me along time ago..the first time someone evr broke my heart..to hell with her..she has caused this pain to me 3 times. i will not tolerate it no more..i treated her like a queen..and she goes back to this shmuck...

[heloladies21]

Honestly, the break up wasn't your fault. It's HER fault for making the mistake of just breaking up with you. Don't blame yourself.

 

But in any case, the best thing you could do right now is No Contact so you could get your head straight and keep your emotions in check. It will also give her a chance to decide what she really wants which she can only do without you in the picture. But I suspect you're not strong enough to do that at this point.

 

In that case you should do everything your heart tells you to do. Don't hold anything back. Tell her how you've changed and want to get back together as many times as you want. Call her when you want and don't hold back any of your feelings. It won't bring her back, but the rejection will push you to the point where you'll see NC as the best way to go. But holding everything inside will just keep you frustrated and make you unable to heal up.

[AC874]

I am definitely NCing it.

 

I am just praying that somehow, I can get her back.

[heloladies21]

Good, make sure not to break it. And if she decides that she made a mistake, it can't be so easy to get you back or else she would end up just doing this again.

 

Best thing you could do at this time is to talk to other girls. Nothing wrong with at least just talking to them. It will put you in a lot better frame of mind and give you a head start in case things don't work out with ex.

[coooolsome]

The breakup is not your fault. Yes you made mistakes BUT its your ex's fault for not talking to you about it. I realized this yesterday. Yes I made mistakes, I chose to play a video game instead of talking to her on the phone. She could have easily talked to me about it, instead, nothing.

 

Everyone makes mistakes. You would be a fool to think you didnt. But the breakup was not our fault. They gave up on us. They did not want to work at the relationship. I see a lot of people that breakup get back together b/c the grass is not greener on the other side b/c its more work when you get into a new relationship.

[sukerbut]

cooolsome i am totaly with you...if they really loved us like they claimed they would not allow little insidents to build up to a huge problem. things would be discussed and problems would try to be solved. they chose to leave us way before we even realized it..they decided in their twisted little head that i dont want this any more and i am going to find reasons to destroy the relationship and make it look like its his/her fault and not mine! a) so i can feel better about myself for breaking up with him (no guilt it was all his/her fault) b) to justify it to all tehir friends and imidiate family! i was a model significant other...i would of moved mountains for this girl. the first time i ever felt something like this for some one and it was totally waisted on such an insignificant person. i dont feel foolish or betrayed i just feel disappointed that for once i wantted to give someone my total self..which i have never done that for anybody..i am 30! and she just did not give a shi t . but today i am feeling good .. real good!

[sukerbut]

cooolsome i am totaly with you...if they really loved us like they claimed they would not allow little insidents to build up to a huge problem. things would be discussed and problems would try to be solved. they chose to leave us way before we even realized it..they decided in their twisted little head that i dont want this any more and i am going to find reasons to destroy the relationship and make it look like its his/her fault and not mine! a) so i can feel better about myself for breaking up with him (no guilt it was all his/her fault) b) to justify it to all tehir friends and imidiate family! i was a model significant other...i would of moved mountains for this girl. the first time i ever felt something like this for some one and it was totally waisted on such an insignificant person. i dont feel foolish or betrayed i just feel disappointed that for once i wantted to give someone my total self..which i have never done that for anybody..i am 30! and she just did not give a shi t . but today i am feeling good .. real good!