his parents are putting our relatioship on hold,, HELP

[Baby_Blue_Eyes]

well im writing to tell you about my ex-boyfriends parents.. ok here is how it goes..

 

He was torn between me and this other girl Korey was her name.. she went to the same like church as he did and they hung out at the movies and stuff as friends but then he claimed he liked her.. i was so upset when i found this out it broke my heart into pieces i cried for 5 days on and off i wouldnt eat hardly anything maybe a little soup was it.. i was so depressed i stayed sick.. today is the first day i have been back on my feet i talked to him and we set on the steps at school for a long time talking and he held me as i spilled my heart out to him.. he kissed me and i kissed him we continued on this for a while then at the end of the day I asked him how much more time he needed before we got back together.. he looked at me all sad and said but i cant.. i tried not to cry and asked well why.. he said because his parents didnt like me because they found out about us having sex for the first time about 8 months ago... first off i was so mad at his parents because they have never met me or talked to me they think the worst about me.. we had sex because we loved one another i trusted him we used protection... we are old enough to make this decision.. he will be 16 and im 15 now... we are plenty old enough to decide who we want to love and date... i dont know what to do or what to say to him.. if he leaves i wont be able to do anything i will be sad all the time.. i just love him so much i cant let him go and i wont give up till were back together..

[Dating Coach]

He was torn between me and this other girl Korey was her name.. she went to the same like church as he did and they hung out at the movies and stuff as friends but then he claimed he liked her.

 

Be glad he is your ex. Man, if I told my girlfriend that I like some girl she would kick my butt to the curb. Yes she would be hurt, she would cry, she would be depressed, but she has too much self respect to be with someone who wasn't offering her the same level of love that she is offering. The same with me. If she told me she liked someone else, BOOM, she's gone. I'd throw her out of my house and tell her to have her sisters come get her stuff.

 

You seriously should have more self respect than to settle for someone who will only care for you half as much as you would care for him. Don't you think you deserve the same level of love that you are willing to give? Don't you think that if your significant other was able to like someone else that it won't happen again? It will. Especially if you are so desperate and lack enough self respect to allow him to get away with it, then what is to stop him from doing it again? Are you serious? C'mon girl, you deserve better. You should be angry that someone you cared for was willing to toss what you had aside so easily, you shouldn't be wanting that person back. Sheesh.

[miracle29]

Sounds like first heart break blues. I remember this all too well. I remember it now and that was many, many years ago. I also remember swearing up and down that I too was old enough to have sex and that my parents...didnt know anything. Sadly I WAS WRONG! I learned so many things the hard way. Just because I thought I knew it all. I was totally 16 and the world revolved around me.

 

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but this young man is more than likely not telling you the truth. The fact that the two of you had sex probably scared him and so he is trying to cover it up by avoiding you and then blaming it on his parents. His parents unless you heard it from them, could be clueless. Remember ...believe half of what you see and NONE of what you hear!!

 

At his age, you more than likely were his first and he could be very youngminded as well. He could feel that this was all to soon, and the challange is gone. You pouring your heart out to him could just futher push him away. I know you feel like you will NEVER get over him, but I can tell you..YOU WILL. In fact...the last time I saw my first heart break, he had actually gotten pretty fat. LOL (jokes on him) I was looking mighty fine when he saw me, and he was drooling wishing he could be my husband. LOL. Wishing he didnt lie to me and break my heart like he did. I also want to tell you that this is just one of MANY heartbreaks yet to come. Just one of many different men you will feel that you love. You wont understand this now but I bet you when you get 19 you wont be with him and then at 21 or 24 you wont be with who you were at 19. Its all a learning process and the first cut is the deepest. But it will only make you stronger.

 

Now as far as my advice to you. I would give him space. I bet you a roach to a corner that one day soon you will find out he used his parents as a way to run from his own fears. Don't chase him, no matter how much it hurts, don't make a fool out of yourself. You'll have plenty of time to do that when you're 19, 21, and so on and so forth. Trust me. I should know.

[Baby_Blue_Eyes]

u dont understand we have been together for 3 years..... and then we had sex our 3 year anniversery it was him who asked if i wanted to we both loved one another... very much and we still do... this is more then puppy love i hate when older people say your too young to understand love well tell you this i grew up way to fast

[Meow18]

I was thinking just what miracle was thinking. I don't think he's telling you the whole truth. I don't know if it has to do with the whole sex thing though, but I have a feeling that it has something to do with Korey.

 

But maybe he was telling the truth. In that case, you have to respect his parents.

 

It's kind of troubling to me that he was torn between you and Korey. So what, if you won his heart, does that mean you would be better than her? I don't think so. If he choose you over her, he would probably still have feelings for her and secretly wonder if he should have chosen her.

 

You deserve better than this. I've dealt with plently of guys in my day who were torn between me and another girl, and trust me, no matter how much you like them, they are not at all worth it.

 

You will understand this in time. It's hard to think about anything else when you are hurt. Just try to see that this guy is not worth your time. There will be many other guys who come into your life. He's just not the one for you.

[Meow18]

u dont understand we have been together for 3 years..... and then we had sex our 3 year anniversery it was him who asked if i wanted to we both loved one another... very much and we still do... this is more then puppy love i hate when older people say your too young to understand love well tell you this i grew up way to fast

 

I don't think anyone was trying to tell you that you were too young to understand love. I know my grandparents have been together since they were 16. They have been together for almost 70 years now. So trust me, I don't think you are too young to understand love.

 

Obviously something is keeping you both from being together right now. If you are meant to be together then it will work out that way. If it is in fact his parents who don't want you to be together, than that's their choice for their son. They are looking out for him in the way they want to. You need to respect their choice.

 

I hate to break it to you, but if I found out my 15 year old was having sex, I wouldn't want him to be with that girl either. Sex comes with consequences. It is not just an act of love. Are you in any way ready for a baby if something happens? It just shows how responsible you are when you wait until you are ready to deal with the consequences that come with sex.

[miracle29]

First of all you need to CALM down. No one said your love for eachother wasnt real. If you found that in the post then you read the wrong one. I am not here to debate if you love him. You said he is stuck between you and another girl? Then you said that he said "he can't" be with you because of his parents? Think about this. If you were together for three years...then I think you are taking your frustrations out on the wrong person. THree years of "love" should keep him from ever wanting this other girl in church. And true love, three years, is too long for him to all of a sudden let the parents dictate his being with you. Think about this and don't get mad at me for telling you the TRUTH.

 

I am sorry but something sounds fishy here. No one is judging you telling you that "your young and your love is not real" I said I too have had my heart broken, and the the FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST.

So keep in mind that If you come here for advice and we give you our opinions and then you snap at us because you feel we don't know anything, then why did you come here in the first place?

 

I don't doubt that you love him at all. I doubt that he is being honest with you. Think about that, and re-read that post.

[Dating Coach]

u dont understand we have been together for 3 years..... and then we had sex our 3 year anniversery it was him who asked if i wanted to we both loved one another... very much and we still do... this is more then puppy love i hate when older people say your too young to understand love well tell you this i grew up way to fast

 

Well with that kind of answer then you obviously are too young to understand. You are making excuses for him. "It's only puppy love". Give me a break. That is a MAJOR disrespect to you, your relationship, and it shows just how little he loves YOU. You can sit there and make excuses for him or his actions all day long but that don't change reality. This is not what happens between two people who really love each other. Besides, he is your ex now so that further deomonstrates where you stand with him. Again, you can make all the excuses you want by saying it was his parents, but whatever. It's BS.

 

Good luck with that though.

[Baby_Blue_Eyes]

well he talked to me today that girl is no longer in the picture just me and him and his parents.. see we only had sex once.. he was the one who came over my house and thats when it happened.. and someone said something about a baby.. trust me we both were well educated about that and sexual transmitted things... I was on birth control and we used a latex condom ..we were extra safe.. his sister somehow found out and told his mom and dad that was around 9 months ago.. they think that im the worst person ever.. and they jumped all over him... but yet his sister who is only 17 has had sex before ...but there parents dont know.. she told on him.. and he didnt say anything about her having sex... it just makes me so mad that doing something like that one time they dont trust him and that was 9 months ago if we were gonna do it again we would have by now we both agreed that we wouldnt do it again until we were married... we were both Virgins when this happened and he was the one who made me promise First person is the last person.. so there for his parents shouldnt worry.. and just think 90% of teens have had sex and there parents have no idea in the back of there head they know it happened but the wont confess.. and his mom and dad had sex when they were 13 thats WAY younger then me and him .. and they had his sister and him when they were 25 and 26... so they have no room to talk about we messed up.

[PavPPZ1]

His parents have problems, thast all i am saying... you need to talk to him and tell him either he stands up for what he wants or you are moving on.

 

Good luck

[PavPPZ1]

I just dont trust religion, and church, it causes more problems then it does good. More people come out screwed up from strict religious homes then out of any other enviornment. For crying out loud how long will it take people to realize religion was invented by people to keep people under control in former civilizations. Get over it, we have already gone to the moon, an atom bomb in previous civilizations would have been interpreted as an act of god, and probably might have made it into the bible. Its so lame, including the fact that his parents are on his case about him having sex 9 months ago its natural you are both young people. Religion is LAME, so damn stupid it makes me naucious. A book written before sience and physics was invented, and its being held above everything else. Wake the heck up!!! and smell the roses....

 

I think I can understand why people come out of religious homes messed up, its mainly because people who follow religion must have mental issues, how else cna you explain it. This very basic reason is why peolpe out of religious homes have mental issues as well.

[Meow18]

Maybe his parents think they made a mistake for having sex when they were 13, and so they don't want him doing it. Maybe they just realize how stupid they were for doing that. Maybe they worry about what would have happened if she did become pregnant. No matter how much protection you use, there is still a chance of getting pregnant. No 13 year old or 15 or 16 year old is ready for that responsibility. It's a fact.

 

These are his parents. And whether or not you like their "rules", you and your ex need to respect them. Whether or not you want to, the reality of it is that he is obviously going to respect what they want. And you need to respect his desicion to do that.

 

I wouldn't be happy either. However, if you are meant to be with him forever, you will be.

[Baby_Blue_Eyes]

pev... you are so right about the strict home thing... now i can understand his parents being mad if we had had sex multiple times in there house or something.... or if he had had sex with like 5 girls.. first off i respected his parents until they called me a little whore.. now i have lost all respect for them.. they called me a whore and i was a virgin i had never been with anyone else but there son.. he was my first real long term relationship... and they have no rigth calling me something like that.. until they respect me i will not respect them.. but then again im going to act like the bigger person .. what they want me to do is forget about there son and not love him but im going to hold in there stong and not give up i will show them this girl is not weak..