How can i get him to trust me?

[hellokitty704]

My boyfriend and I we're together for almost 2 years. I cheated on him three months into the relationship and we broke up for bit, while i tried to get with the other boy (that i cheated on my boyfriend with), who i'd liked for ages. when that didn't work i went back to my boyfriend, who took me back. I've hurt him loads of times, not on purpose, but now he can't trust me. We broke up, but he said he still wants to be with me and still wanna be with him too. If i could take back all my mistakes, I would. I just need to know what to do to regain his trust, or at least some suggestions, becoz he said he's willing to get back with me if i give him some suggestions, but i don't know what to say! please help.

[Beec]

Trust lost is tough to regain. He probably cannot trust you, unless he gives you a chance. You are trying to get that chance.

 

When we are in a relationship, we do not just open up to each other and trust. One of us opens up a little and makes themselves slightly vulnerabel to the toehr, then the other shows that they can be trusted with what they were given. And it goes back and forth. Each making themself more vulnerable over time and each showing that they can be trusted.

 

What he needs to know is that you learned something from him, that you regret your mistakes and that you do not want to repeat your mistakes, whether with him or not. And that if given the chance, by him or someone else, you will show you are trustworthy. Not much else you can do.

[hellokitty704]

i understand that, but i gave him time to be on his own and think. he called me after two-three days, asked to come and see me, we ended up having sex, and he said nothin was going to change.

That killed me.

a few days after he just turned up at my house and acted like everyhing was normal. still kissing me and hugging me, and led me to think things we're going to be ok.

But yet, he's still saying that nothings changed.

is this the end or do we still have a future.??

Some help me, this is my first proper relationship and i need advice on what to do to get him back!

[coolchick]

Im sorry but ive been in a similar position like that. My boyfriend didnt cheat thank god but he left me out of the blue then before i knew it he had another girlfriend. It lasted 2 months while i suffered the most pain i have ever known and then the girl cheated on him. Guess who he came running back to? Yup, me. And silly me because i loved him still so much took him back. I can tell you right now that the relationship WILL NOT BE EASY. Its going to be sooo hard but this will test how much you really want to be with him. I still feel anger just now as i felt so stupid. As if he just casted me aside while he went away and had his fun, then when it didnt work out he just came back to me again coz i was an easy option. You have to ask yourself why you cheated on him, why you wanted this other person back, then as soon as the other guy isnt interested you just go running back to your previous boyfriend. Is it because you cant go without having a boyfriend and need to feel loved? or do you actually truly care about this guy? You need to ask you yourself deep down these questions because the road in front of you wont be easy. Dont put you or him through any more pain that you already have if the answer to the question is the first one. Good luck x

[RooferGirl23]

Actions speak louder than words. It will take lots of TIME but you can make this better. Remind yourself who your with, and why, and don't cheat anymore. If you love eachother you will survive anything.

One time i borrowed alot of money from a male friend of mine and I did not tell my guy b/c i knew he'd get upset but I really needed the money. well, about a year went by and my guy found out.. and was MAD! he was mad that I lied to him (I told him i got the money from family) and that he no longer trusted me. Alot of time has passed since then and we are back to normal. we never discuss what happened.

[Beec]

Him coming over to get a little something sounds like him using you and maybe using your guilt. Admit your guilt, and then you kind of need to put it behind you. You using it to motivate you to do better is great. Him using your guilt to get you to do things is not. Indeed, it shows that he might not be trustworthy with having something he could hold over you. Just because he can use guilt to get you to do things, does not mean he should.

 

So, you need to stop the booty calls. He either tries to take thigns slow and date you, and you show yourself to be trustworthy, or you both move on. At least, that is my opinion.