I want him back! Help!

[capgurl21]

I met this amazing guy ( the kind I have been searching forever for) only thing is, he was separated from his wife whom he has children with. I decided to be understanding b/c I figured Mr.Right has to come with some price. So anyway, he was very affectionate and called all the time an I always supported him. Well all of a sudden he started backing off and so we eventually called things off but he insisted we stay friends so I agreed. He would get jelous if I dated someone else and he never dated anyone else, but he said he just neede to be friends b/c he was thinking about getting back wiht his wife b/c of the kids. He swears its not b/c of her. But anyway, I have stayed friends with him but he has yet to make a decicion. Recently he backed off even more and so I told him to go ahead and give it a try with his wife. He said he had been thinking about it but he was afraid if he did he would lose me. I told him that he never calls anymore anyway so Itwould be easy to let me go, but he just disagreed. Well he is still not calling as much but won't make up his mind. In the beginning I had this guy eating out of the plam of my hand and now its totally opposite. What can I do? Also, if you are involved or have been involved in a divorce maybe you can help me understand what he is thinking right now.I want him to be with me. Any advice on how to make this happen let me know!

[Serendipity1607307077]

This happens so often and I think I have seen this situation many times this week!

 

The problem is, though he did separate from his wife, and felt he was ready to date, well.. he wasn't... there is so much emotion going on, and the fact that he has kids too indicates that he doesn't think that they should have to deal with parents that have split up (it messed me up pretty bad!)... I think he wants to stay together for the kids...

 

He might also feel that the custody issues that arise and all of the problems associated with it are just not worth it.. quite often it seems the wife takes pretty much everything and leaves the husband to pick up whatever is left..

 

The best thing you can do right now is to just be there for him as a friend.. if he feels that he is ready to leave her once and for all, and wants to start a life with you, that's great, but if not... I guess you'll have to move on... difficult as it is..

[Bams]

I am telling you I know this topic very well. Get this book "How to Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce" it has help me understand men and what they go through during a divorce.

 

Hope it helps, Bams

[novaseeker]

Also, if you are involved or have been involved in a divorce maybe you can help me understand what he is thinking right now.

 

Meh.

 

It's a very complicated situation. His concerns could run from kids welfare, to fear of what a custody/support arrangement would look like, to fear about the impact of his relationship with you on a divorce settlement (relevant in some places), to remaining feelings for his wife ... it's a dicey situation if they haven't decided to divorce yet.

[Dako]

Here's a guy's POV:

I'm going through the divorce process right now, and I want to stay away from women for a long time. I'm not in any emotional state to involve another person's feelings in my chaos. Even from a selfish viewpoint it wouldn't serve any purpose except as a distraction.

 

I would really enjoy a platonic girlfriend. Someone to go to a movie with or walk on the beach. No sex at all. Just a non-threatening, undemanding friend to share a pizza and a laugh. Those simple things are more important than anything else right now.

 

Drama I don't need.