My Ex Has Finally Broke NC---Unbelievable!

[Mstyiyd]

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks, but now I have an update. I think I've put this in the correct forum...well, my ex g/f called me on Sunday to wish me a Happy 30th B-day. We had not spoken since 9/1, I was the one who initiated the NC after mixed signals and out-there rejection finally made me emotionally have to separate. You can view my other posts to get the story if you dont know it (I just dont know how to put the address up)....I figured it was all said and done. I was coming on these forums as help in getting thru this. I think she wanted to remain "friends" from the get-go, but I had felt like a doormat, etc etc.

Well, we talked (about nothing really other than catch up) for TWO hours.....its amazing how time flies. I was very chill, played it cool, and you know what I found? I didnt have to force "being chill" like I would have had to do a few short months ago. I saw progress within that call of myself. And Im proud of that. I wasnt giddy and I AM NOT reading into this call. AT ALL. But I had the self-control to pull it off, and for that I gave myself a secret little hug bec. I was not the one who broke the NC. Does it work? Well, like most people have written, ultimately it helps your sanity level, not theirs, regardless of whether or not you wind up back with them. Towards the end of our convo, she asked me if I wanted to go get dinner after work this week. I am going to do it, because I do miss her, miss the friendship as well as more but AM NOT going there AT ALL for a million reasons, and I would like to see her. Glad she did the invite, not me! When I thanked her for calling w/the b-day wishes and said I appreciated that, she then said to me, "Don't read into this"......I could not believe it. I replied very coolly to her that I said the same thing to the # of others who called to wish me the very same thing......I just had to laugh. Its like she's the one trying to convince herself, not me. I'm okay, I am moving forward with myself, and my life. Whether or not I have her in it. Sounds like she needs me more than I need her. She used to say stuff like that on a weekly basis the last 6months or so we hung out.

 

Anyways, thanks for reading this. I appreciate all the help everyone's given me over the past four months I've been lurking around. You gain alot from so many different perspectives. I just wanted to give an update on my situation, esp bec. alot of us follow each other's stories and the whole NC thing. I will keep posting as things happen (or don't!). But for the record, I am calm and collected, happy that she called but not assuming that we are going to get back together or even be friends. Im not friends with exes, haven't been before, it doesnt work for me. So we'll see. In my case, NC has worked to help me grow stronger. I hope everyone else is doing allright, any comments/suggestions are always welcome.

I am in the 30 Club now!

[melrich]

Hey great news. Good luck with it I hope it all works out.

[Mstyiyd]

Thanks Melrich. Like sands thru the hourglass......so are the days of our lives.....LOL........well, when we had left the conversation on Sunday she had asked me if i wanted to hang out or have dinner when I got home. I thought about not calling her, being busy, letting her chase me type thing. Which I plan on continuing to do.....but I didnt want to be rude so tonight I left her a message after I knew she would have left work, and said that I had a busy day and didnt have time to get together but to call me, maybe we could hook up soon. Hook up as in hang out! Well, she called me about 20 min later and we talked for about an hour. About nothing in particular. The only weird thing she said was she mentioned my parents and if I had "badmouthed" her to them.........weird, as Im not the type of person who would do that and i dont tell my parents all my personal business anyway. Is that insecurity or guilty conscience? Weird! So, we'll see what happens. I'm ok with it all, I have started building my own life anyway.....