Help Needed From London

[BONO]

My GF split up with me 6 weeks ago after 18 months. I met her though a very close knit group of friends which includes my brother who I live with and is one of her best friends. I am best friends with her best friends and if you like am in the clique - and may that continue.

 

Two weeks after we broke up she went to my best friends brothers wedding. I heard later that she had spent the night with a chap called Kev who lives with his ex girlfriend and 4 month old baby 300 miles away. He also has 7 year old baby from a previous relationship and most weekends has to spend time with his kids.

 

I did the normal daft things initially, but now into NC and with the help of my friends I am avoiding her at all costs.

 

Her best friends who have known her for over 10 years say that I was the best Boyfriend she as ever had but once someone gets a little close she just pushes them away. Infact her past history has shown a pattern of 3 a month relationship cycle.

 

I have all the same emotions as the rest of you guys ie Love her and want her back.

 

Clearly reading all the posts NC is the way forward. And I will do that. My question is this. She has finally agreed to come round and pick her stuff up tomorrow night. I have been lined up with a date in London. My brother is going to help her clear all her stuff out at his request. She will naturally ask where I am.

 

Do I

a) Tell my brother to say nothing ?

b) Let my brother tell her Im on a date and ham it up a bit as he wants to? ( Because pushing her away like this might hit a cord of reality )

 

Remember she finished with me and told me that I was her best friend and she loves me blah blah. Im not the type of person to get one back and dont want to hurt her but am moving on for me.

 

What do I do ????????? Thanks in advance for your comments. Jamie

[secret01]

i dont know what to say really, i would let your bother tell her. if she only bumped you cus she has comitment fears, then she prob still loves you, and needs a kick up the bum.

 

i bet she'll get jelous, and want to come bk, but to find this out you will have to keep an eye on her friends to tell you, cus you cant ask her, that will push her away, and she aint gonna tell you. so keep an ear out from her friends.

 

this could take some time so dont wrorry.

 

i wish you good luck

[BONO]

Secret 01,

I think you could be right, I hate playing games but I guess time and focussing on me is the key. Quest for you though. If you were picking up your stuff from your ex and you found out he was on a date what would you do/think/feel ???

 

Thanks

[biacd]

i'd suggest that u tell ur brother not to tell her. just be vague, ask him to tell her that u're out, and that's all he knows. it'll leave her wondering.

[secret01]

i would feel jelous. and if that was me, (me being a bit like that myself), i would be more interested in what your were doin, and so on.

 

but the point is yeah its possible you could end getting bk with this girl, but what about the next time she pushes you away. these kinda feelings never leave, and they could have something to do with her past. this is why i cant say much, it depends all on the situation and how u all feel about each other,

 

remember ppls advice can be good, but they might not nessarcerly work for everyone.

 

good luck, anymore question, ur welcome to pm me

[heloladies21]

Don't let your brother tell her where you are. It's not her business to know.

[BONO]

So I went on the date last night, it was good but I doubt I want anything out of ( she was a bit mad )

 

Got home for about 10.30 and my ex is stuff is still there. My phoned had run out of juice ! Guess what happened ??!! The door opens and my ex walks in with my bro. They had been for a drink and my brother did text me to let me know but I did not get it This was very hard.

 

Clearly im not over it because my chest started pumping. She got all of her stuff and left. Nice I did not bring anything up. Fell asleep about 4am chasing my mind around the room !!

 

How the hell can I have NC when she is best mates with my brother who I live with and best mates with my best mates. Do I go into exile ??? !!! Or do I do a daft shift system ??!!

 

Also brother did not tell her I was on a date, nor did I.

 

Help needed on this one guys as xmas & NY approaches !!