Chronic Crush?

[Jinx]

For the short and sweet run down types let me explain my current situation. There is this woman I've known as an on-and-off type here and there type acquaintaince for roughly six years (give or take one or two). When I see her I develop these feelings of interest that pester me beyond belief, it almost makes me feel restless. Due to the current situation, despite my usual ability to strike up conversation with anyone, I'm having major difficulties approaching and even talking to her. I'm lost on how to do this and this feeling just won't go away.

 

Now, the long and detailed explanation.

I've posted something along these lines on the Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Trans forum before but I decided it might be more suitable in this forum. Afterall, I suppose there are still a reasonable amount of similarities when it comes to attraction and flirting despite orientation.

 

Right now I have two women I'm interested in. One is a good friend of mine, she and I are just about as compatible as it comes (friend wise) from my viewpoint and we've never argued with one other, even after several years. We're still happy as larks, and most of the time she is my interest but I've come to terms there is little to no chance she and I could ever have a relationship, I do believe she is most likely straight. Now my mind has wandered aside of her, to one whom has been nagging me for a few years now, and which this post applies to.

 

I had met (at that time) a girl in HS, but during the early years I was very shy and socially awkward and hated talking more than have to. This girl she tried talking to me constantly and I often ignored her efforts and gave minimal effort.

 

Well a skip and a hop down the line, out of the pure blue the crush for this woman hit me. I think it formed one night when we spent the longest time conversing with one another that we ever had, she for one intrigued me even in minimal conversation. Yet, as soon as the conversation flowing began, it ended. Never had a true chance since then to speak.

 

Now comes the world of University, we so happen by chance to be on the same campus. Before attending I was able to drop her out of my mind because I heard she had been admitted somewhere else, peace to my mind. Lowe and behold, I discovered she is employed for the morning shift at at an on campus location that I frequent. This attraction comes back, full bore without signs of letting up. I probably spend more time watching her out of the corner of my eye than I do studying.

 

I tried before to say Hello before but she walked on by, I suppose, it is possible she didn't hear me and not assuming I'd talk she wasn't paying attention to watch my lips move. It is also possible she is just assuming I'm not worth the time and effort anymore to socialize with because years ago when she tried I did little in response.

 

We have made eye contact only a handful of times but no verbal on campus, I'd like to change that. Yet, she has some effect on me where I become nervous to the point of lacking logic needed to form a coherent sentence, I've never really had this problem before since becoming a social type, its almost a bewildering experience. I've had so many chances passing her on the go to say something but I just cannot think of anything at the right time. I can't even think to smile at her.

 

Secondly, she is a busy woman where she works. When she is on the go, there is little time for any chit chat. She has a purpose for moving and is going to get something accomplished. Only time she is relaxed is at her desk area, But, major problem. There is absolutely no reason that I can think of which I'd approach her desk. I know she has good friends which come and go from the desk but problem B arises in this case. Her and her friend group tend to clash with mine, they're not violent or profane about their mutual dislike just very, open, which is not good for me in this situation because I can't get there as a "good friend".

 

Thirdly, I think she may be interested in me or was. I've never seen someone who could be so persistent in tackling conversation with the unproductive and anti social being I used to be. Now that I remember our previous conversation bouts, she had many times over subtlely asked and implied the lesbian factor. She isn't homophobic by any stretch of the imagination either. So at any rate, I'm interested but don't have a clue. It probably won't work, I probably won't even get a chance or much less a conversation but I'd at least like to think there is someway I can sate this, chronic crush.

[Jaela]

Hi Jinx. I was in a similar 'chronic crush' situation as well, with someone for over six years. The only way I finally overcame it was by confronting it head on. I told the guy my feelings towards him and things didn't work out, but we still remain friendly today. But by finally being honest with him about my feelings, I was able to move on.

 

Talk with her and figure out what's going on. Be persistent, continue saying hello to her and see where things lead. If she isn't showing any type of interest or being friendly, you have your answer and will know its time to move on.

[Jinx]

Thank you for the advice, it is appreciated. Next time I see her I'll have to try talking to her, at the very least, say Hello ask how she is doing and see if she does respond and work from there. I'll just have to hope for the best in this situation.