i love you but not in love with you

[kauaiangirl83]

my bf and i got into a fight over something very minor. my friend is here visiting me from out of town and since we fought over the little thing, my bf has moved himself into the living room. he doesn't want to talk to me much. He's sending me mixed signals. He has said i love you, but i'm not in love with you, but he says that he will go to couples counseling with me. i'm not really sure what i should do because i feel like i have no choice but to wait around for him. he said that as soon as my friend is gone things will be back to 'normal'. it breaks my heart that he's extremely depressed, but everytime i suggest that he go talk to someone, he doesn't want to, he'd rather work it out on his own. Unfortunately, this hasn't been working. Does anyone have any ideas for me? i'm not sure what i should do at all...

[RayKay]

What "friend" is this? Is your friend male, an ex, someone whom likes you? Someone whom disrespects him?

 

Those details would help.

[kauaiangirl83]

this friend is my best friend since the fifth grade. She will be here for 3 more days...hope this helps

[RayKay]

Okay, but why is he reacting? Is she rude to him? Does he not trust her?

 

There must be some *reason* it upsets him she is there?

[kauaiangirl83]

He says that he's embarrassed that she has to see us fight. he's ashamed and doesn't want to see her for the rest of the time she's here...

[BellaDonna]

he says that he will go to couples counseling with me.

 

It sounds like he's willing to work on the relationship.

 

Clearly you are having some communcation issues. Counseling is a great way to evaulate the current state of the relationship, get feelings out on the table, and improve your methods of communication to one another.

 

Although I do not know all the details of why you're fighting- I think if he's willing to go to couples counseling- take him up on it.

 

 

BellaDonna

[darkblue]

Coupling councilling sounds like a good idea.

 

If it's worth having; it's worth working on.

[dEllInDa]

Sounds like he jealous of you spending time with your friend. Give me a break. . . .

& telling you he loves you, but isn't in love with you, sounds like he wants to put a damper on your visit with your friend. Why on earth would you even want to stay with him if he isn't in love with You? Counseling is going to make him fall in love with you? Perhaps I am harsh in what I am saying but why waste your time?