Online Personals Failure Version 1.0

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Let's say you e-mail 25 introduction letters to 25 possible mates of different backgrounds, ect. You check your mailbox everyday and have no replies. In fact, 2 or 3 of the profiles you saved are now "temporarily unavailable". You wait a week, 2 weeks, still no replies from anyone.

 

Now say you recommend two of your handsome buddies to give it a shot and they e-mail about the same number of females. Most of them respond back within a day and begin "step 2" with your two friends.

 

How would you take this? That you just so happened to e-mail 25 ladies by bad luck and your friends happened to luck out. Or that a picture is indeed worth a 1000 words and you have no shot at these online personals because you do not look good enough to get past an icebreaker?

[MetallicAguy]

It's either your not interesting enough(sorry I'm just really honest, and if I don't tell you what I honestly think I think you'll be missing out on what you need to work on), or the girls on the dating personals site are superficial and only care about looks. It made me think their superficial because you said "handsome buddies". Anyway, just something to think about. Maybe its how you look..is that you in your avatar? Well, if you want my personal opinion that person in the avatar looks a little too feminine if you ask me. (No offense if that is you).

[spiderman_56]

lol ... i couldn't stop resist laughing at your posts...

lol ... well your picture matters and it moslty depends on what you write in your profile , the way you describe urself and the way your personnality appears ..if u sound like a boring depresssive guy , why the hell bother responding to u ...

 

'n try to get a pic that shows u smiling and havin some fun ..u look dead boring in that pic

[jenny_mcs]

I would say that maybe you are taking the process too seriously. 25 "potential mates"? If you are really looking at these people as potential mates based on a picture and an on-line profile, your e-mails may have come accross as too serious and scared them off.

 

Just relax, and look at the people you contact as potential friends. Find people you can grab dinner, see movies, and go for drink with. Even if nothing romantic happens, you might gain a friend. The more friends you have, the more social situations you will be in, the greater your chances of meeting someone you connect with romatically.

[volution]

"Online Dating is for mugs..." - that's my new catchphrase

Good for one-night stands or shallow meaningless encounters, yes. Serious relationships, no.

As I have iterated previously, the only people who really benefit from these sites in the end are THE OWNERS laughing their asses off at the end of every month laughing at the lonely people, laughing all the way to the bank with their ill-gotten money.

 

You're not the only one who's sick and tired of everything...

 

Don't worry, the loneliness only gets worse as the years go on...

[jevonj77]

First of all, if you are spending money on these sites you have already messed up...I guess a few bucks shouldn't be a big deal...but real money...well, it's kind of like gambling.

 

Now to get to your topic...there is a couple of things...your profile has to be real, interesting, and have some meat to it without being too long and boring...you figure it out...read some of the other people's profiles and see what you like about them and what you don't. If you read a girl's profile and you like it, find out why and incorporate that into your profile.

 

Secondly, you need to have the picture that you think will attract the type of girl that you are looking for. If you put up a sad photo...well you might not get any girls at all(that is a photo in which you have a sad expression on it). If the photo looks like you are trying to be too soft and uhm desperate, many women will just pass you along. Also, put on some semi-decent close when you take the photo and make sure that you have a hair cut...you want to make sure that you put your best foot forward....

 

Lastly, if you get no results...find out what you are doing wrong and change it...then try again. Quiters never win and winners never quit.

[wlfpack81]

Um guys...

 

That's not Kyo in that avatar. He's mentioned that before in another post.

 

But for theory if that was him girls would still be on his jock anyways despite what some of you area saying. I've seen plenty of abro & fitch looking model dudes w/hot women. Some of you need to stop BSing on here.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I thought everybody watched the show "Lost". That's Ian Somerhalder in my avatar. I am 100% different that that guy. In actuality, my avatar looks a lot like the good looking best friend I keep talking about who gets girls whie I get ignored, but my friend sports a ponytail. Wow I just realized that... anyway back to topic. The pics I put up on the site are of me smiling, grinning and laughing. My profile is no different than anyone else's, and it does have humor, as did the letters I wrote to the women I was interested in. I was not surprised at all about the responses my friends got and the lack of responses I got. I will admit I do not take good pictures. I don't have a good picture face.

 

I don't think it's too superficial. Everyone wants to know who they're talking to. I'm just frustrated that I am 0-25. I checked to see if they're phony profiles or if they're inactive, but most of them are active daily or every other day. I just do not interest them. I'll try 25 more.

[jevonj77]

If you take bad pictures, why don't you go get a photo of yourself done...like professionally. You can take a little extra time in that department. Also, are you sure that your profile is the same as the one's that get more women? That might be part of the problem too...being too familiar.

 

Keep a variety of sites going...different women on different sites.

[Derek]

Dude, don't put your eggs in one matchmaking site.

 

You get different types of people at different places.

 

Like "link removed" vs "link removed" vs link removed vs

link removed etc. All might have different types of people in them.

 

I would sign up for free trials at all those different ones and browse what kind of people are on there before paying any money. Some sites may have no one from your area(city).

 

How about trying speed dating too.

 

 

[ShySoul]

Kyo,

 

My man. My buddy. Online dating sites are populated by vicous sharks who aren't looking for the kind of relationship you are. Sure, there are a few gems in the mix, but what your looking at is bad odds to begin with.

 

. My profile is no different than anyone else's

 

Perhaps it doesn't stand out? Maybe its too forced? Without reading the actual profile its hard to say just why no one responded. There could be any number of reasons.

 

I've never tried a dating site and never will (ok, maybe on a dare or just to prove my point). But I've had success talking to women online. Maybe you would be better off finding a chat room on some hobby you have. That's how I've started talking to a lot of people. But I think the big thing is to not expect too much. You got your hopes up. The way I see it, if I get turned down 25 times then I'm on a pretty impressive streak. Laugh about it and realize these girls are silly for passing you over. Hey, why not shoot for 45 or 50? My motto: hope for the best, expect the worst. Hope you'll get responses, but count on nothing. Focus on the rest of your life and when something does come your way then you'll be pleasantly surprised.

[Puddle]

If you write to those beautiful women who seem very nice in their profiles the truth is that these women aren't real. They are fake profiles added to the site to attract new members. I think most of these services allow you to browse through the profiles for free, but you can't write to the members. So you pay to write them and the emails never go to anyone. Cruel but true.

 

You can't find serious relationships through these sites - unless you have no standards for the girl's looks.

 

The girls are afraid of your profile. The girls answer the guys who don't take the site seriously, who have the attitude "write me or don't write me, I don't really care" because girls are afraid of the commitment of writing to someone they know is interested in them.

[beanpaper]

Maybe you are picking the wrong kinds of "potential mates". Be sure and keep your horizons broad.

[arrowbee]

I thought everybody watched the show "Lost".

 

I think we've identified part of the problem here.

 

Kyo, buddy, I'm saying this for your own good: Sell your TV.

[ShySoul]

Hey now. Plenty of people watch Lost. I don't, but I believe it does pretty good in the ratings department. Maybe he should just watch something different. I'm sure he could impress the ladies with information learned from the History Channel, Discovery Channel, etc.

 

What girl wouldn't want someone who can take care of the home and the garden? Or watch those documentaries on animal mating rituals. See if you can pick a few things up.

[Alabama]

Kyoshiro Ogari, I like your sig. That was an awesome Geiko commercial.