Does he want me back??

[sar18]

Hi there, I'm new to this site but think its great! I could really do with some help as I'm really confused and would appreciate any advice.

 

By boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me a month ago due to him meeting someone else one Saturday night when he was out and then told me on the Tuesday that he wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted to split. I was really upset and knew that something must have happened to trigger this as Saturday morning he rang to tell me how much he missed me as I hadn't seen him the previous night. I asked if he had met anyone else and he denied this but eventually admitted that he had met someone which made him realise he didn't love me anymore or why did he feel that he wanted to pursue something with this person? We didn't speak for a few days then he asked me to meet up for a drink the following Sunday which was awkward at first but then seemed to be ok. By the end of the night he was all over me and trying to kiss me then said he had to go before he tried to do something he shouldn't.

 

I didn't hear from him for another few days then he started to email me at work just asking how I was. His 30th birthday was approaching and I had booked a trip away for the weekend and was undecided as to whether to go or not. He said he still wanted to go even though he had by now moved in with his new girlfriend. He lied to her and said he was going with a friend and we went and in a way I'm glad I did as it gave us a chance to have a proper talk, but again he was all over me trying to sleep with me and when I asked if he felt guilty he said no. On the second night I let this happen even though I know shouldn't have it just felt right at the time.

 

He has been emailing since, every other day infact (I'm not the first one to contact him) he asks if I have met anyone else and wants to know details if I have etc and says he is just being inquisitive and implies through his emails that he still wants to sleep with me and last weekend he rang and asked if I would go round as no one was in but I didn't hear my phone ring. Later that night he was out with his friends but he was texting me all night but then going back to his girlfriend's house to stay with her. He emailed me this week and asked me to meet him so I did and again ended up sleeping together even though I know it is wrong but surely if he is doing this with me he cant love her as much as he thinks as why would he do this if he did?

 

He tells me about her even though I've said I would rather not know, and says they are looking to rent their own house together but he has doubts about her as she seems to be quite jealous and possessive and he seems to compare her to me. He says that if we lived together he knows I wouldn't mind him going out but thinks that she will and she's quite dominant and tells him what to do a lot of the time which he says is fine at the minute but thinks this will get on his nerves eventually and feels it's a novelty at the minute. He told me he knows I want him back and I said actually no I'm fine on my own and if we were meant to be together then we wouldn't have split in the first place (although this was a lie on my part) and this shocked him as he said he didn't realise and that it felt a bit strange and felt like he had been dumped now! I found this very strange as he is telling me to find someone else and that he wouldn't be jealous if I did meet someone else but I'm not sure if this is the case? I replied and said I thought that would be the answer you would expect from me and that by his reaction it makes me think he isn't as over me as he thinks he is, but he said that he was just teasing me and liked the attention, he didn't want to mess my head up and that was all.

 

I'm very confused as I feel he is giving me mixed signals. He says that we should have moved in together a year or so ago and that maybe things would have been different. I told him that he didn't seem that sure of this new girl and he couldn't answer me although he then said later that things were great. He says he tends to get bored in relationships and enjoys the beginning part of getting to know each other then after this he tends to enjoy attention from other women although he insists he has never cheated on me and that is why he told me straight away about her. He said that this time he is going to jump straight in the deep end with this girl as he will know if he gets bored sooner if he spends 24/7 with her and in a years time if he still feels the same he will marry her instead of just thinking about doing this like he has before.

 

I feel like I want to get back with him as I seem to think that he still has feelings for me as why would you contact and ex all the time when you are meant to be happy with the person you are with now? Or is he just using me for a bit of fun? I'm really unsure, I still love him and know I would go back to him he if asked me but I know things would have to change if I did this.

 

Does he still have feelings for me and want me back but is just trying to hide these feelings? Or is it just a game to him? Is he even worth going back to in case this happened again or should I just leave him completely?

 

Sorry this is so long I didn't realise I had so much to say!!

[annie24]

I think he sounds like a grade A jerk! First, breaks up with you for her, then moves in with her, and starts lying to her, and is secretly spending time with her. You both are getting played!!!

 

You should put your foot down. If you really want to get back with him, tell him, you'll talk to him about getting back together, but only after he's broken up with his current gf and moved out of the house.

 

Trust me on this. Otherwise, he'll end up with 2 gfs! He'll be having his cake, and eating it too.

 

good luck

[kellbell]

The grass is always greener on the other side but in the meantime, one has to water the grass they have in front of him/her. Kick the jerk to the curb once and for all, he is going to continue to this. If he able to throw away a 2.5 year relationship over some chick he met one Saturday, he will do it again with no reservations. You deserve to be with a man who thinks with his bigger head and not the smaller one. Take care.

[yokohama_mama]

I agree with annie and kellbell, this guy is playing both you and the new girl. From the things he's said to you it sounds like he's pretty good at manipulating girls. He's now sleeping with both of you, lucky guy, and I'm sure he'd add more girls to his roster if he could manage it.

 

Even if he does leave her and get back together with you, could you ever trust him again? This guy will burn you if you let him. Be good to yourself and don't let him.

[simlplysimple]

hi sar 18, i am kina goin thru the same thing as you at the moment. mins is not as deep as ures for eg the whole living together gettin married deal...however my bf dumped me for a new girl he met to and has started to get in contact with me askin to mneet up with me...i will be honest with you, you should have stuck to ure guns and not slept with him at all, this sounds nasty but its true. i have met up with my ex few times, he has tried to kiss me and sleep me with me but i will not allow it. i can only say one thing "whats for you will never go by you"

We woman always look more deeply into things and we need to realise that guys only have one train of thought..we may think he is tryin to play you and his new gf but maybe he does really still have feelins for you and doesnt know how to admit to it! if you love him follow ure heart. i would say leave him be for a while dont give out that you still have feelins for him talk to him normally though dont be nasty.

The way he talks to you about his new gf seems like he is tryin to prove something. i think he is tryin to cover up his true feelins. maybe coz he knows he hurt you that you will hurt him back! but like i said all you can do is follow ure heart..dont sleep with him anymore...

goodluck and i hope all goes well..if you are meant to be together he wont go passed you..

[yeawutever]

Cut him loss, this tis he typical player who likes having lots of girls to manipulate. If he wanted another g/f, he would have it, he could even end up with 4 g/f's at once. Don't you see he's a jerk when he told you he doesn't feel guilty cheating on his current g/f when u both were sleeping and you ask him, he say no. If now he's chetaing on her then if you were to get back with him, he would be doing the same to you. He's using both you and his g/f.