Need BIG help with this

[GurlE]

I am currently in a relationship with a guy that I really care about. We've been together 1 1/2 years. I am now pregnant with his baby. He loves me and would do anything in the world for me. My problem is my feelings for him have become more "friends type" I actually don't think I have ever fallen out of love completely with my ex who is a woman. This is a HUGE problem. I love my boyfriend but not the way he thinks and I can't break up with him...it would devestate him. I also don't know wether my ex really has feelings for me anymore...we are friends but I don't know sometimes it seems she has feelings for me and sometimes it doesnt. I am so confused on what to do here. No matter what I love this baby but I just don't know wether I can live my life with someone I can Live with, rather than someone I can't live without. I get into fights and bite his head off all the time for no reason. I can't help it it's pent up anger. I also don't know wether or not what I still feel for my ex is real even though it should be because we broke up over 3 years ago and I'm still feeling like this. I know most people are going to say "you have to tell your boyfriend blah blah blah" but I really don't think I could bring myself to tell him. I console myself by thinking maybe he'll meet another woman someday(as weird as that sounds) it would free me of having to break his heart. I would do anything for him, he's such a great guy and for a while I thought I really truly was in love with him. He makes me promise I love him all the time and in a way I feel bad because I know it's not the type of love he means. Please help me

[melissaX]

hey,

i kow this is probly not what you want to hear but i really think you should talk to him and see whats going on.... tell him how you feel and see how things go......i am sorry if this didnt help much but i think you should talk to him... i hope i helped

[SwingFox]

Hello GurlE,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I understand that you are in a relationship with a guy that you don't truly love and that you still have feelings for your ex.

 

Your situation is very hard indeed. I admire the way you take his feelings into account and how much you try to avoid to break his heart. The truth is that with you being pregnant of his baby now, you are a little beyond a very delicate situation. What I am about to tell you is not really advice. It is more like my personal view on relationships. I hope that this helps you making some sound decisions in your life.

 

What I find very important in a relationship is total honesty. I would want my girlfriend to be totally honest and open to me and I would want her to communicate her needs towards me, so I am aware of her situation at all times. What I am afraid of is that your relationship with this young man will die and explode. The truth is that you don't seem to be 200% honest to him about your feelings. In time it will show that your feelings are changing. It starts small: less sex, less affection and may less talk. Those issue grows bigger and bigger and he will become more confused each day.

 

My advice to you would be to find yourself and figure out what exactly it is that you want out of life. That is now more important than ever, because you have a baby coming. See what your needs are and look where your current boyfriend gets a place in your life. After that, I would suggest that you start to talk to your boyfriend, no matter how hard it is. I believe it's better to talk now, than to have your relationship explode in your face and you breaking up on bad terms. That will not benefit your unborn child.

 

I hope that this helped you a little and I wish you good luck in making the right decisions that will work for you.

 

~ SwingFox ~