Forgotten birthday

[didyoumissme]

Hello Everybody, I just have some questions and need some advice.

 

I just had a birthday last Saturday and a friend of mine ( I think) who I known for 4 years now forgot my birthday. Even tho I reminded him( thro email) a week before and even a day before my birthday that I had a upcoming birthday. Well, I was hopeing I would get either get a email back or even a phone call on my day " from him" wishing me a happy birthday. Sadly, I didn't Not even a happy belated birthday.

It really bothers me that he never replied back to that email or acknowledge my birthday at all.

I know he had to get those emails because he got the other recent emails that I sent to him ( about music) and replied back to me. Should this bother me? Should I just forgive that he didn't say anything to me at all about my birthday? Would it bother you?

I kinda want to mention to him when the next time we talk about it but I feel maybe it's not really a big deal? I mean, my birthday is over now so I guess I should just get over the fact that maybe he just forgot and not take it to personal? Does this mean that he's not a true friend to me?

Any advice would be appreciate, Thanks in advance

[annie24]

So, you reminded him twice, and no response. That's pretty rude. Barring the posibility that he hasn't checked his e-mail in a week, I would say that this guy probably isn't as good of a friend as you thought.

 

I don't know if confronting him will do you any good. How would the conversation go:

 

YOU: "You forgot my birthday, I sent you 2 e-mails."

HIM: "Oh, uh, sorry, I was really busy."

 

Does this help?

 

Is this the same friend that you've posted about before, with his strange signals? Maybe he's not a good friend afterall.....

 

EDIT: oooppps.... I didn't see that he did get another e-mail you sent him afterwards which he responded to. Ok, yeah, I think he's really rude if he didn't at least say, "happy birthday". It's not like you were asking for a present.

[didyoumissme]

So, you reminded him twice, and no response. That's pretty rude. Barring the posibility that he hasn't checked his e-mail in a week, I would say that this guy probably isn't as good of a friend as you thought.

 

I don't know if confronting him will do you any good. How would the conversation go:

 

YOU: "You forgot my birthday, I sent you 2 e-mails."

HIM: "Oh, uh, sorry, I was really busy."

 

Does this help?

 

Is this the same friend that you've posted about before, with his strange signals? Maybe he's not a good friend afterall.....

 

EDIT: oooppps.... I didn't see that he did get another e-mail you sent him afterwards which he responded to. Ok, yeah, I think he's really rude if he didn't at least say, "happy birthday". It's not like you were asking for a present.

Hello & thankyou for replying. Yes, this is the same friend that I post alot of times before. (we actually just met in person) a couple months ago.

Anyhow, I know it just seems like he didn't care or want to even aknowledge my birthday. I was really hurt so a couple days after my birthday, I emailed him about asking if he wanted a copy of a music cd and he said "sure, send me a cd" Thanks in advance. I was a little hurt that he reply back to that but still nothing saying " oh how was your birthday? "Happy Birthday" nothing.. I know, I didn't want actually a present or anything. I just wanted to hear or read two words " Happy Birthday" That's all. But, I guess I was asking for too much...

So, I was just thinking I will just sent him the music cd then after that I won't contact him anymore unless he contacts me on if he gotten it or whatever. Is this what I should do? The right thing to do?

[annie24]

I just wanted to hear or read two words " Happy Birthday" That's all. But, I guess I was asking for too much...

 

Listen to yourself woman! Do you sound silly? Do you REALLY think that that was "asking for too much?" No.... you two are friends, and that's what friends do - say happy birthday, merry christmas, happy easter, etc.....

 

I think he's an insensitive clod. All I know is that if one of my friends ignored my birthday like that, I guess I would know that they probably don't care very much for me and that I'm not really their friend.

[didyoumissme]

I just wanted to hear or read two words " Happy Birthday" That's all. But, I guess I was asking for too much...

 

Listen to yourself woman! Do you sound silly? Do you REALLY think that that was "asking for too much?" No.... you two are friends, and that's what friends do - say happy birthday, merry christmas, happy easter, etc.....

 

I think he's an insensitive clod. All I know is that if one of my friends ignored my birthday like that, I guess I would know that they probably don't care very much for me and that I'm not really their friend.

No, I don't actually think I was asking to much for him. I reminded him on purpose so that he wouldn't forget. But, I somehow wished I didn't cos then maybe it wouldn't of hurt me as much as it does. I always wish my friends happy birthday, merry christmas, happy easter, etc.

Heck, I'm even sending a couple of my friends a happy halloween card. I was thinking of sending him a card to in with the music cd. But, I don't know if I should? Probably not? I probably should just send a posty with the cd saying " heres your cd" enjoy ( instead of the halloween card) I don't know.. what do you think? I sometimes wish I didn't care to much

[didyoumissme]

I'm so upset, and mad right now. A part of me even thinks I shouldn't even send a cd. But since I ask, I might as well send it to him.

Why? I don't know, probably because I am a good, caring person who just happens to be hurt right now that someone who was suppose to be my friend maybe not even my real true friend, anymore.

[djedix]

who cares, a true friend woulda remembered, and even acknowledged your emails.

 

maybe he's busy with something? or maybe he just doesn't care.

[didyoumissme]

who cares, a true friend woulda remembered, and even acknowledged your emails.

 

maybe he's busy with something? or maybe he just doesn't care.

but how do I know if he was just really busy with something? or if he doesn't care?

[Dannysgirl]

I have been in situations like this before with some of my friends where I was always putting so much effort in and never really getting anything back. My best friend forgot my birthday a few years ago so I called him and went to town on him about it, he has never forgotten since!

 

Don't bother sending this guy anything if he can't even be bothered to say happy birthday then he isn't worth the effort! Either that or send it to him with a posty saying - thanks for the birthday card, enjoy sticking this CD up your ***!

 

I find that quite a few men are like this with birthdays and such, they see it as being 'okay' to forget the birthdays of others because they're 'men' but woe betide anyone who forgets THEIR birthday!

[RayKay]

Hmmm......if you reminded him a couple times, and he responded to another email....it seems very odd to me. I mean it IS possible he filed it in his head, then forgot about it...and now feels bad...but it to me seems "weird".

 

Write him an email just a regular "how are you doing?" email, and talk about your week...include what you did for your birthday. And see if he responds. If he does not, it sounds like he is rather only into this relationship if it benefits HIM (ie responds when there is something in it for him)...and then I would question how great of a friend he really is. I mean, all it took was him to say "Happy Birthday" - even not-so-great friends will tell you that!

[Dannysgirl]

who cares, a true friend woulda remembered, and even acknowledged your emails.

 

maybe he's busy with something? or maybe he just doesn't care.

but how do I know if he was just really busy with something? or if he doesn't care?

 

how much time and effort does it take to hit the reply button and type 'hope you have a lovely birthday?'

 

10 seconds if that! Stop making excuses for the guy he's a pig.

[didyoumissme]

who cares, a true friend woulda remembered, and even acknowledged your emails.

 

maybe he's busy with something? or maybe he just doesn't care.

but how do I know if he was just really busy with something? or if he doesn't care?

 

how much time and effort does it take to hit the reply button and type 'hope you have a lovely birthday?'

 

10 seconds if that! Stop making excuses for the guy he's a pig.

Your right it doesn't take much time or effort to reply and just saying hope you had a lovely birthday, happy birthday etc.

I just feel horriable, really sad about it. I guess i should just send the cd & then let him go?

[didyoumissme]

Hmmm......if you reminded him a couple times, and he responded to another email....it seems very odd to me. I mean it IS possible he filed it in his head, then forgot about it...and now feels bad...but it to me seems "weird".

 

Write him an email just a regular "how are you doing?" email, and talk about your week...include what you did for your birthday. And see if he responds. If he does not, it sounds like he is rather only into this relationship if it benefits HIM (ie responds when there is something in it for him)...and then I would question how great of a friend he really is. I mean, all it took was him to say "Happy Birthday" - even not-so-great friends will tell you that!

I would send him another just regular email on asking "how he is doing" and talk about my week. But, I have a bad feeling he won't reply because he didn't reply to other emails on my upcoming birthday when I told him what my plans where. I even ask what he was doing that weekend, if he had any plans? And no reply..

[Dannysgirl]

I would send him another just regular email on asking "how he is doing" and talk about my week. But, I have a bad feeling he won't reply because he didn't reply to other emails on my upcoming birthday when I told him what my plans where. I even ask what he was doing that weekend, if he had any plans? And no reply..

 

Don't bother sending him anything he's not worth it honestly, just block his email from now on. He's obviously only out for what he can get as raykay said. I'm sorry he's made you sad but its best you dind out NOW what an uncaring selfish pig he is than get even more emotionally attached and find out later.

Stick with your REAL friends from now on.

 

Best of luck, I hope you had a nice birthday anyway

[SuperDave71]

Didyoumissme,

 

 

1 time = a mistake

 

2 times afetr being reminded = purposeful.

 

 

Stop making excuses for this guy. It's obvious you care mre about him than youself. If he hasn't even tried to let you know happy birthday, or even acknowledged the fact that it was a very special day for a friend....he isn't much of a friend. Stop making excuses for his behavior and deal with what you know...until he proves you otherwise. I learned that making excuses for people's behavior is guessing and giving them the benefit of the doubt. I deal with facts.

 

Fact #1. You reminded him NOT once but 2wice.

 

Fact #2. He didn't NOR has he responded

 

Fact #3. You like the guy and are making excuses for his NON-caring behavior.

 

 

I suggest you stop answering your phone and leave this guy alone. Let him come to you...but if he does...Ask him. Tell him it hurt your feelings.

 

 

I wouldn't contact him though. Apparently he thinks you will always be there for him and he can treat you any way he wants because you give in. Find your spine and stop settlling for scraps. Go get your true friends and forget about him the way he forgot alllll about you .....especially on your birthday.

 

 

-SuperDave71

[Dannysgirl]

I would send him another just regular email on asking "how he is doing" and talk about my week. But, I have a bad feeling he won't reply because he didn't reply to other emails on my upcoming birthday when I told him what my plans where. I even ask what he was doing that weekend, if he had any plans? And no reply..

 

Don't bother sending him anything he's not worth it honestly, just block his email from now on. He's obviously only out for what he can get as raykay said. I'm sorry he's made you sad but its best you find out NOW what an uncaring selfish pig he is than get even more emotionally attached and find out later.

Stick with your REAL friends from now on.

 

Best of luck, I hope you had a nice birthday anyway

[RayKay]

Hmmm......if you reminded him a couple times, and he responded to another email....it seems very odd to me. I mean it IS possible he filed it in his head, then forgot about it...and now feels bad...but it to me seems "weird".

 

Write him an email just a regular "how are you doing?" email, and talk about your week...include what you did for your birthday. And see if he responds. If he does not, it sounds like he is rather only into this relationship if it benefits HIM (ie responds when there is something in it for him)...and then I would question how great of a friend he really is. I mean, all it took was him to say "Happy Birthday" - even not-so-great friends will tell you that!

I would send him another just regular email on asking "how he is doing" and talk about my week. But, I have a bad feeling he won't reply because he didn't reply to other emails on my upcoming birthday when I told him what my plans where. I even ask what he was doing that weekend, if he had any plans? And no reply..

 

Okay, I did not know you had sent that many emails - I thought it was just one or something.

 

Then I'd say walk away from this guy - he is only in it if it benefits him and is DEFINITELY NOT a true friend in the least.

 

You deserve better

[DN]

I think you should ask him directly.

 

"Is there a reason that you did not acknowledge my birthday? I feel hurt that you did not and it has made me question if you are really my friend."

 

If his response is acceptable then you can continue with the friendship, if it is not then you can terminate it.

[didyoumissme]

Thanks everyone, I kinda want to mention it and ask him about it but then I feel like I'm to chicken with fear I might not even get a reply I hope for or if I even get a response