God I'm so pathetic

[sweetheart230]

The old guy..the one who is eleven years older and hurt me really really badly, and emotionally abused me and used me as an sex buddy. The sadistic one...well I'm stupid and I checked his online personal ad and he deleted it. God I was so stupid to do it. But now I think he has a girlfriend. He wouldn't even take me out to dinner and now his profile is off the personals website and I don't know what to think.

 

He asked me to come over for sex 5 times last week. But then he stood me up for our date on Monday. I keep thinking he has a girlfriend. That he's being nice too. That he won't use for sex. And hurt over and over. And ask for a blow job when she is shaking and scared and in pain. I just keep thinking he is taking her to dinners and at least calling her his girlfriend.

 

Why would he take his profile off unless he had a new girlfriend. Last week he was begging me for sex and then this happened. I know I shouldn't have checked it. But I keep thinking crazy things. How could he have found somebody new already. Why does he think she is better than me? Why did he hurt me so much if he had someone new? Why is she so much better and deserving of his love than Ia m? Why would he

 

How could someome so horrible find a girlfriend? I didn't put up with his bull this year. I told him I would only see him if we hung out and it wasn't all about sex. But still he broke 4 dates with me and now he has another girl I think that he was willing to delete his personal ad profile over.

 

I shouldn't have checked it. I'm so stupid sometimes. I havn't even talked to him. I don't know if he has someone new or not. But why did he delete his personal ad?

 

I'm sorry to ramble on. This just hurts so much, thinking he has someone new and better than me. I mean if she wasn't better than me, then he wouldn't have treated me like dirt and tell me he wnted nothing bur sex from me and then deleted his personal ad profile for her.

 

Why is this hurting me so much? All the mind games, the physical and emotional pain..i mean its worse than when my dad died. Which is awful. I mean how could this hurt worse than when my dad died. But it does. I didn't feel this horrible when my dad died. God I just keep picturing him being so happy with someone. And I thought i felt better and then i saw he deleted his ad and all the bad feelings came back. I just have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. And nothing makes it better.

[melrich]

God I just keep picturing him being so happy with someone.

 

Do you really think he will be so happy with someone else? That he will treat her any differently than he treated you?

 

No he will just pick up on the same old ways. People like this do not discriminate about who they abuse, they abuse anyone they get close too.

 

I am not sorry if he has found someone else because hopefully it means there is no way that he will be back in your life. You are so much a better palce now (even if it does not feel like that to you at the moment) than you were when you were with him.

 

The only thing I am sorry for is that you cannot warn this poor new girl that he may have hooked up with. Stay strong. You are on a path to better things.

[fine_wine]

are evil as i am sure some women are......im sorry youre hurting and youre NOT PATHETIC you cannot help whom you love,but please thank God hes out of your life and pray for his other victim.be glad and satisfied in the fact it isnt you anymore...

[sweetheart230]

Yeah but this just ended 2 days ago. How could this happen so fast?

 

And i'm justupset that he was so horrible to me and wouldn't consider me more than an F buddy and he hurt me physically and emotionally and made me empty promises- and now he must have found another girl that he thinks is good enough to take his stupid online personal ad off.

 

She isn't his next victim. if he found someone else then she must be a lot more to him than I was.

[melrich]

He found someone so fast because he needed to. He is a needy person who does not feel incontrol unless he has someone who is subservient to him. Yes she will be his next victim.

[volution]

You should report him to the police - men like this get away with their filthy, dirty, horrible abuse for so long, because most women are too frightened or too upset to tell anyone - these men prey on the gentle, kind souls and scar them deeply, making their victims the ones that feel guilty - all the while they get away with murder...

And the women they have hurt find it hard to have relationships in future, with real, good decent men...

Abusers don't just hurt the ones they abuse, but they ruin the threads of other's lives - I've experienced this both directly (through a relationship of my own) and indirectly (someone I loved was abused by a scumbag and it affected me too)...

 

It's natural to think about people (even those that have hurt us) that have moved on to someone else, and imagine how they are having a good time with someone else whilst we are suffering in the bowels of loneliness's icy hell.

When my only ever relationship ended in December last year, the woman that betrayed me seemed to carry on as if nothing happened and started trying to find other men to use for her sexual desires - we had met through an astrology forum, and she started posting all kinds of innuendos and things to other men on there, which really hurt me (some of the other women on there said she was the female equivalent of a male b******d! ).

I dwelled on how I was so alone and in pain whilst she was no doubt gallavanting around with other people..

It takes time, and perhaps a great deal of time...

Those that treated us worst seem to be those that are the hardest to get over...

But remember, there are gentle souls out there, gentle-men, who's only desire is to bring tender love and warmth, honesty and faithfulness to one lady for the rest of their lives, above all others...

[kellbell]

I am so sorry you went through all this. Hugs to you. But like others have wrote, he will treat every girl he goes out with the same way he has treated you. Any type of abuser, whether it is physical, verbal, emotional, does not change. I dated a guy who emotionally and mentally abused me and he treats every girl he goes out with the same. I feel bad for them. His pattern never changes. It's actually very scarey when I think about it and pathetic at the same time. The only thing I can say is take things one day at time and come here often. We are here for you.