heartman Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 ok so my girlfriend 4 like a year cheated on my last night w/ her ex boyfriend and everytime i call her she acts like its my fault shes telling me that someone told her that i cheated on her which entirely isnt true at all and she said she was drunk and cheated on me out of revenge. i really do not know what to do about this situation becasue b4 this we were perfect always had fun together and really loved eachother alot i was her first which meant a great deal to her and everything and i really dont know what to do b/c im dont want to talk to her and she wont talk 2 me because she really believes that i cheated on her and thiers nothing i can do to prove her wrong so any help or comments i would really appretiate thanx Link to comment
passions1 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 When there is mistrust in a relationship of any kind, then all you can really do is give the other person time & slowly prove yourself that you are trustworthy in anyway possible. If you can get the source of the wrong info about you cheating that may help to your advantage & have the person make sure to clarify with her that you didn't cheat. You cannot expect her to take you back completely over night, but if you think your relationship is worth saving, then all you can do it be patient & let her cool down. Otherwise, if she is remains stubborn, then you will need to ask yourself, do you really want to be with a person who cannot trust you? Link to comment
heartman Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 yes thank you but i dunno if i should get back with her either b/c after all i didnt do anything wrong here besides be a good boyfirend Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 do you really want to be with a person who cannot trust you? WHAT??!??! Are you serious??? Dude, cheating is the most cruel and unforgivable thing anyone in this world can do. I can't think of anything she could say or do to win your trust back. She didn't even verify if you cheated on her? She just went out and cheated on you "right back"? Something doesn't sound right here. She's making a pretty lousy excuse for cheating on you and explaining it away as your fault. Horrible. She's garbage. No Contact her till the end of time. You deserve better than that. If she ever tries to get a hold of you, tell her she can go and **beep**. Talk to lots of other girls. Link to comment
heartman Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 yea but the only thing is i love her so much i just want her 2 relize what a mistake she made but she still thinks shes right and im wrong and its so hard knowing that she thinx i actually cheated on her b/c i would never 2 do that Link to comment
sundaymorning Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 leave her heartman! Think about it! Really think about this, if I heard a rumor that my GF slept with another man, yes I would be pissed! But I would NEVER go out and cheat on her and assume that the rumor I heard was true. BECAUSE if I really really really cared about her, I would be too scared to go sleep with someone out of revenge because I REALLY TRULY dont know if the rumor is TRUE! She didnt even wait to see or REALLY FIND OUT if it was true. She just went out and cheated on you! Honestly, if she really really loved you, she would not have gone out and cheated because of the fact that she really doesn't know if its true. She would not risk losing you over a RUMOR THAT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE! Why would she gamble that if she was really in love with ya! Understand??? aND ABOUT HER BLAMING IT ON YOU....let me translate=Im too scared to suck up and tell you that I am no longer in love with you.=my guilt is eating me up so by blaming you, I feel better because that means it wasn't MY FAULT I went out and did this.....ITS HIS!!!!! GET IT??? Man, I know things are confusing right now, but when the fog settles, trust me my friend, life will be alright. You will forget about this girl! And from experience, even if she admitts she was wrong, you WILL ALWAYS hold a grudge! Also, she will lose alot of respect for you, because yes even though you were the nice man who gave her another chance, trust me, it looks week and needy! Women do not like that! THEY WANT A MAN! Once a woman really really screws up, let her go man because its a loose loose situation! Do not answer the phone or DO NOT CALL HER! She will realize and come running back! Just make sure you have your go f-k yourself speech ready when she comes running back! Peace heartman! Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 She doesn't think you cheated with anybody. She's making it up so she won't feel guilty about cheating on you. Link to comment
novaseeker Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 she said she was drunk and cheated on me out of revenge. Yes, yes this is a common saw, I've heard it before. Issue is: why stay with a person who would exact revenge like that? In other words, even if she really believed you cheated on her (which you say you didnt), that's no justification for her 'revenge cheating'. More than the cheating, it reflects a certain vindictive mindset on her part ... you'd be best off steering clear of this one. Link to comment
heartman Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 yea i know you guys are right but i cant stop thinking about her but i wont let myself call her. i mean i never expected anything like this from her she acted like a totaly diffrent person that i never saw from her b4 and it hurts so much but i guess i do have to let go its just so hard though b/c b4 this happened things were honestly perfect for the last 8 months like this was our first real fight about anything important and its just so hard b/c i cant see myself w/o her but i know that i cant let myself be w/ her agian. the thing that upsets me the most is she hooked up with the one person she knows i hate more then anyone Link to comment
atomic40 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 If she actually believed that you cheated on her then why didn't she confront you first before exacting revenge? If you have been together for a year, I would expect her to at least talk things out before acting. I know you love her. My gf of 2 yrs cheated on me and then broke up with me and I still had strong feelings for her afterwards. With the passage of time (which is your friend) you will see more clearly and realize that you are better off without her. Link to comment
heartman Posted October 8, 2005 Author Share Posted October 8, 2005 yea well last night she called me and told me that she believed me and she is soo sry, and that she wants to see me but i told her that its not a good idea b/c im jus trying to meeet other people and get over her. then she told me that she thinks everything happens for a reason and we werent meant 2 be and shes def not jealouse of me w/. other girls. so what does this mean to you guys b/c she sending me mixed signals Link to comment
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