I"M HURTING, how do you stop it?

[juls28]

so, my BF of five years and me broke up about a month ago. it's been horrible. at frist we said it would be a break but then we said no....it would be permanent. but i still don't know. he keeps calling to say he's sad and depressed , but when I ask, he doesn't want to get back together. it became too much. I got my phone number changed and got a new email address. but the new phone number doesn't begin until tomorrow so he wouldn't know yet.

 

I looked on myspace today and his profile says he's "single "now. it hurt so bad.

 

the thought of him looking for other girls makes me sick. it makes me take all of my short comings and I think that he is with someone or will find someone who doesn't have them. like there is this perfect girl with a perfect job.....I know it's normal to think this way but I need to move on. I want him to love me again, but it just hurts so much to thinnk he never will.

HELP!!!

[Bethany]

You stop it hurting by doing what he is doing, you start looking for someone new. Nothing can get you through a bad time like having some fun with someone new.

I know it's hard to think of it like that but it's obvious he has moved on so get out there and meet some new sexy guys who actually want you instead of pining for someone who does not.

[HajiMaji]

no one is perfect. Im sure you were a great girlfriend to him. This stuff sucks really bad.

 

Heal from this thing. Search posts on how to heal. I advise that before looking at new guys. That can make you feel really crappy, but for some people it helps.

[rionmccloud]

Just take time for yourself. Cry when you need to. Life works itself out, and in the end you become a stronger, better person. Trust me.

[chai714]

Juls,

The passage of time is your best friend right now. Surround yourself with family and friends, as you will probably lean on them during this tough time. Don't look at his myspace profile anymore. Read that sentence again, because you might not have read it right. Do not look at his myspace profile and do not try to keep up with his life.

 

I also encourage you to take this time to grow as a person. Now is the opportunity to learn about yourself, how people work, and improve on the person you are. Take it from me, as I had a 5 year relationship end out of the blue. Taking time to work on myself has been the most rewarding experience, as it can be for you too. Stay away from the dating scene until you regain your confidence. This will take time, but this time is absolutley necessary to your psychological well-being. Don't try to date or replace him with someone else - this simply will not help you. While it may bring temporary, false happiness - it will only mask the underlying issues.

 

If you can't sleep, begin exercising a couple hours before you normally fall asleep. Wear yourself out - read a book, write a journal of all your feelings, talk to your friends about the whole situation - get it out of your system. You need an outlet, and your true friends will listen to your story a million times. Hang in there, and let time do it's job. Everything is going to be ok - take it from me, I've been there.

[atomic40]

Hang in there. When my gf of two years broke up with me I was totally lost. She also started going out with some guy a week after she left me. I was totally shell shocked. It just takes time to heal. Grief, sadness, anger will all come in stages. Eventually they will fade more and more and you will be ready to start fresh with someone new who will be special to you.