Going through a hard time, could use some advice

[deezy112]

Just recently my girlfriend of 5 years decided she no longer wanted to be with me. We started dating when we were 17 and 18, junior and senior in HS. We made it through college together and i just graduated while she has 1 year left. Currently im 22 and shes 21.

 

The hardest part about us breaking up is she has a boyfriend already and we broke up about 1 month ago. She says she loves this new guy already which just crushes me. Its hard for me to understand how someone can so easily get out of a 5 year relationship and start anew one right after the breakup and already be in love. Not to mention 10 days after we broke up i find out she had sex with this guy already. We were each others first love and lost our virginity with each other.

 

The reasons for us breaking up(or so she says) is that she needed time to get herself together becasue she was really confused at what she wanted in life. Our relationship was getting pretty intense according to her.She also staetd something to the fact that her parents are going through a divorce and shes really confused.I think that im too nice and believe what she tells me because i dated her for 5 years and trusted everything about her, but now i feel like some of these are just white lies

 

She claims "you cant help who you meet" and that this is just life and these things happen.

 

She tells me she talks about me to her new boyfriend all the time (dont know if i believe her)

 

She tells me she misses me all the time and that shes confused with her feelings.(also dont know if i believe her)

 

She also says that im more attractive then him but he shows her more public affection than what i did. But then she says im perfect in everyway i just lacked showing her public affection in our relationship.

 

She is currently living with this new bf because her lease came up and she claims she doesnt have a place to stay at the moment becasue her parents are going through a divorce.

 

I could really use any insight, thoughts or comments on my dilemma and any advice because im hurting deeply. I just dont understand and its so hard for me to just get over and let go of all of my feelings which i feel she had no problem doing. Thanks

[heloladies21]

10 days??? She never cared about you. None of this is your fault because she lied to you the whole time. Don't believe anything she says. She might be confused about her life, but one thing she's certain of is that you're not the one for her. Most likely she's making a big mistake and you're the best thing she'll ever have, but you can't make somebody think smart.

 

Cut her off, No Contact from now on. Concentrate on moving on. Talk to lots of other girls. You deserve better than what she gave you.

[Aueft]

I agree with heloladies.

[DN]

Go no contact, get over her and find some who is not confused about her feelings.

[Protex]

I'm going to have to go with the consensus, it seems like the safest route for you right now.

[Dreamingirl]

Deezy,

 

I know what you mean about your ex jumping into something new so quick. My ex started talking/dating someone before we were even broken up. What made me even more sick was that we have lots of mutual friends and he pretty much took her to everything that we had planned on going to instead. This same girl used to date my brother only a month ago. Its a really messed up situation but you have to try the no contact thing. As hard as it sounds it really works and forces you to focus your attention on yourself. I still miss my ex a lot and have down days and think this is rediculous I should be able to talk to him... we were together 8 years, but he did what he did and I should not want to talk to him. Its hard for me to stay mad but it really is the better thing to do.

 

I have had to focus on myself and started school again and really making some positive changes. You have to at least try not to contact her. You deserve better and when anyone can do something like that to someone they care about... they never cared. Im sure your ex or mine or anyone elses on here isnt worried about how we are doing or thinking about how badly they treated us and feeling sorry for what they did. At least my ex is only worried about how he can sweep his new catch off her feet. Take this situation and make it work for you, try the no contact thing and you will feel better!

 

Hang in there!

[Empathy]

Yep. I know the feeling. My bf of a little over 2 years dumped me just when I finally started trusting him. He started dating someone a week later and now they're "in love." And what sucks is, from what I can tell, this girl is PERFECT for him. Knowing that should make me see that we probably weren't meant to be and at least ease the pain a little but it doesn't. It's been 7 months since my heart was ripped out and I've only got about an 1/8 of it back where it's supposed to be. Most of the time I don't see an end to this pain. But I just have to keep telling myself that my pain will meet it's demise just as my relationship did. Nothing lasts forever...right?

[hockeyboy]

10 days??? She never cared about you. None of this is your fault because she lied to you the whole time. Don't believe anything she says. She might be confused about her life, but one thing she's certain of is that you're not the one for her. Most likely she's making a big mistake and you're the best thing she'll ever have, but you can't make somebody think smart.

 

Cut her off, No Contact from now on. Concentrate on moving on. Talk to lots of other girls. You deserve better than what she gave you.

 

I half agree.

 

I dont think its fair to say she NEVER cared about you. I'm sure that she did. I know that when one of my gfs broke up with me after 4 years, she went straight to somebody else. She was cold hearted about it too. But as i learned later, that was just her way of justifying her actions...and she later came back crying. Although that took a while and by then i was gone. My point is that she did care, but she was young and confused and in pretty much the same situation your girl is in

 

That being said, do get rid of her. I know how it feels to be your age and have had one gf pretty much your whole life. You feel like she is your life, you feel like shes the "only one." Simply put, not true, not true at all. Actually since that girl I have been with a few others who i thought were "the one." Some of them I left, others broke my heart and broke it bad. Thing is though..every girl i get in a serious relationship with, I think is better then the last girl. I always seem to find one better and i guess i will keep doing so until i find "the real one." Hopefully I have now, but i dont know.

 

Chin up, things will get better, that I can promise you.