Dreamingirl

Deezy, I know what you mean about your ex jumping into something new so quick. My ex started talking/dating someone before we were even broken up. What made me even more sick was that we have lots of mutual friends and he pretty much took her to everything that we had planned on going to instead. This same girl used to date my brother only a month ago. Its a really messed up situation but you have to try the no contact thing. As hard as it sounds it really works and forces you to focus your attention on yourself. I still miss my ex a lot and have down days and think this is rediculous I should be able to talk to him... we were together 8 years, but he did what he did and I should not want to talk to him. Its hard for me to stay mad but it really is the better thing to do. I have had to focus on myself and started school again and really making some positive changes. You have to at least try not to contact her. You deserve better and when anyone can do something like that to someone they care about... they never cared. Im sure your ex or mine or anyone elses on here isnt worried about how we are doing or thinking about how badly they treated us and feeling sorry for what they did. At least my ex is only worried about how he can sweep his new catch off her feet. Take this situation and make it work for you, try the no contact thing and you will feel better! Hang in there!

Thanks for responding RayKay! It was acutally my brother whos ex my ex is now dating and yeah thats another thing that really sucks is I have to see his pain now too. He was really close with my ex, like a brother, before all of this, so that is hard too. I have wasted a lot of time thinking or trying to figure out how he can be like that... cross a line in life like this. One you just dont cross. Or thinking where is his heart and morals but I cant change him and I have come to terms with that. Most of the time I am kinda happy with how I have handled all of it but at the same time I still hurt so bad. I cry when I have to be strong and say stop calling me or when I dont wave hi. I dont let him see me or know that it still upsets me but it so does. I have to pass his work everyday on my way to work and I see him often. For the first month and a half I started going a new way but then it was taking longer and I really started to get pist that I had to get up early for work just to avoid some idiot. But I guess its worth it rather than to feel crappy everytime I see him. I wish I wasnt so hopeful still I wish I could move on completely. I was reading some other poeples posts about dating and that sucks too. Seems like Ill never find anyone like him, minus the bad stuff. Im always finding myself comparing and thinking how my ex would have done something or what he would have said or just missing him even while Im with someone else. I do believe that I will get over this but its this in between time that kills me sometimes. I have made myself so busy, joining things and stuff but still even that little bit of downtime before bed or when Im not completely busy at work I start to think about him. Anyway thanks for your reply, I apprecaite it!

I have been reading posts on here for a few weeks now and it's amazing to me how similar everyone's feelings and situations seem to be. I started dating someone when I was in the tenth grade and up until about three months ago we were on and off. Sometimes on was really on and off was really off but we kept on going. My ex recently decided to start dating my brothers ex after only their break up being a few weeks. I was completely devastated for about a month, I couldn't eat, sleep, and stop crying I really never thought it would get better, it was really pathetic. My ex parades around with someone I used to sit accross from the family dinner table with, someone that I tired to make feel comfortable and console when her and my brother were on the rocks. Anyway we all kind of live in the same little area so I'm constantly running into him. I haven't ran into the both of them yet and really don't know what I'm going to be like when that day comes but I'm trying to prepare for it. I have remained very diplomatic through the whole situation, only confiding in close friends since we both share a lot of mutual friends and even that has been hard to do. We have such a long history and everything everywhere reminds me of him. Since June I have really gotten a lot better and reading some of theses posts on here has given me some new perspectives on this whole break up thing. I still have my good days and bad days and cry but lately I have been missing him a whole lot. So much so that I met him for happy hour a week ago. I think I was more upset when I left the happy hour and just disappointed since I knew that I had kind of set my self back in this healing process. It was just so hard to say no to someone that I had been so close with and it made sense at the time. So he tells me at happy hour that he is single and that he's doing well and really we just caught up, no deep conversations or anything. Of course when it was time to go I balled the whole way home missing him and being upset with myself. The next day I got a message from my brothers ex (who is now serious with my ex apparently) asking me why I cant stay away from him. I was really pist! I didn't reply to her but instead just thought about me and how I can fix this and move on even though this was a minor set back. I called my ex and told him and he still suggested that he was single and I guess felt that I was blaming him for her sending me the message and told him to please do not contact me anymore. He went on to tell me if that's what I really wanted then fine… and as bad as I wanted to talk to him and try and see what he was doing and why and work something out I just said yes that's what I want. I don't want him to know and I really tired to give the impression that him calling me does not affect me anymore but the truth is that it really does. He then had the nerve to send me a nonchalant message the next day about football so I replied to please leave me alone. As if these up and down days aren't enough I'm sick of running into him. I'm trying not to miss him and work on myself right now and when he calls and I see him it makes it so hard. I have had a lot of time to think about our relationship over the eight years we were together and it was such a joke. He did so many mean things and things that made me upset. I think that's how we got so on and off, it was just easier for me to disappear for a while and do my own thing than to deal with the reality of our relationship. Everyone says I'm better off and I don't need him and I know all of this but some nights I miss him so much or just when I do certain things it triggers stuff and I get upset. I guess this is still kind of a fresh break up and I'm really hopeful that things will get better but how do you stay strong when you are constantly faced with these kinds of situations? I know that I probably shouldn't miss him and still be so hopeful but I am. Sorry this was so long, I tried to not give every detail. Anyone that can give me some advice would be great!! Even if one thing sticks with me from this website than it is well worth it.