Problem Resolution.

[Jinx]

Or at least that is what I am in need of at the moment. I have a minor dilemma which has been progressing over the past couple months.

 

At this point in my life I am in the College education system, a majority of my time consists of being on campus and at college events, of course this seems irrelevant to the question at this point. Well, in the past month or two while minding my own business on this particular campus I've earned more whistles and been hit on more times than I'd like by men of course. The sudden attraction factor is beyond me at this point, before I did a majority of talking and searching when I felt like a relationship, total turn around. The bad portion is, some guys here just cannot understand the words "No, I don't like you, thereforeeee go away don't bother me again." They think I'm playing hard to get How much more blunt can I be in that regard.

 

Anyways during the Autumn and Winter months is when our city has a majority of its attractions/events. For the past two days during lunch hour friends have been bringing up one particular event, one which is well known for couples or people coming together for this weekend (some of the "hook ups" have ended in long term relationships where as others were week long flings). Well, how this includes myself, due to the mass number of men who can't get a clue and I try to shoo them away one of these friends decided to ask.

 

The question being, so are you involved with someone. One begins to question that I must be with someone if I refuse all the male attention and shoots questions as to who it is. When I don't answer straight out I instead end up with more questions. Meanwhile the other individual is insisting I am single and simply waiting for this weekend, and these friends should all band together to help me find love in my life. One may ask why I am even going if it is such a hassle, answer being I have plans with a female friend of mine instead and even if I did tell them it would be more hassle than I already am loaded with.

 

One has been pushing me about what men I like and what my perfect guy would be so that they can find someone before the event and make it happen. They're as bad as the men hitting on me who cannot understand the word "No".

 

Also the reason those two I speak of in the fourth paragraph differ in opinion is because I told one that I couldn't go to get "hooked up" with a guy over the weekend and be with them at the event because I already have plans to go with my close friend instead, for the life of me I cannot figure how a friendly outing with a close friend (didn't mention gender, maybe I should of) twisted into my having a boyfriend. Yet, thats how it goes currently, maybe because the event is considered so love oriented.

 

Now it boils down to my questions for what they're worth.

 

What do I do about about all these friends which insist on hooking me up after repeated No's? They must (or should) already realize if I said no to them, I'm most definitely going to reject whatever they find.

 

Secondly, to be posting here as is obvious I'm not interested in men, yet with such a strong hate and homophobic atmosphere I can't quite say "Um, sorry I don't like him or him, actually I don't have any male crush. Now that woman over there is a different story..."

 

What am I supposed to do when they come poking questions like this? Because if I say I don't like any guy they're going to get suspicious, ask more questions, stress me and I'm not ready for that yet. But if I say I do like a guy for cover up, they'll pester him (worse, relationship or not) and wonder why when I rejected him if asked.

 

Aside of this, I've only told one person about my orientation and that is my good male friend whom is gay. I had a woman who I was interested in and I take it she got a hint but never told her right out. Now, this female friend I know, she is the only other right now I trust enough to tell this and I've wanted to for a long time. Yet, she doesn't hate gays but doesn't know what to think because she has been taught it is sin(she proclaimed this a few times when I myself used to be homophobic [following example I guess]), this is fine and dandy I'm used to hearing this from the accepting crowd (as much as can be here) but when she says it, it is like there is some other feeling in her expression I can't quite lay my finger on and drives me up a wall analyzing it. She is usually very direct with her feelings and I can tell when she isn't completing her thoughts on a topic for one reason or another. Most cases we can read each other like a book and have never once argued or had communication problems, but this time I don't know what to think.

 

Actually, at the moment if I could be honest with people, she would be my love interest (And has been for the longest time). If I knew she was interested in me I'd pursue in a heartbeat but it is very doubtful despite there is nothing concrete to her being straight, yet nothing positive to leaning towards women. So with all that aside, I'd be telling her just to get it off my shoulders. We've known each other for years but I want her to know, and have her reaction. I really don't feel comfortable spending years of my life pretending and playing with her questions about men and love, I've already did that for several and its becoming a burden pretending and lying, especially since we told each other we'd be truthful and open and with even this bit I've already broken that. May not be major as it isn't playing a major role (she isn't the lets go hook them up, find guy sort) but it still bothers me.

 

With all that said, as much as I think I'm going to have to wave a red flag and state it bluntly with her whenever I tell, is there any way I can be subtle and express the same idea? I don't know if I can be that blunt with telling her my orientation unless I have to. Another thing, I have no clue when would be the best time to tell her, or at least try. When we're together at this event (Which she may take wrong, again, because it is love oriented in a way) or hold off until some other place in time.

 

Thank you for those that read through this, bit more lengthy than I originally planned for but had to cover the situation entirely to express and overall idea of it.

[passions1]

You 2 can have a nice, friendly conversation about the opposite sex & dating. If she ever refers you to a "person" she once dated or hung out, then that is an indication it's the same sex. Since that is what my gay friends told me in the beginning about their love lives.

 

Then you 2 can eventually talk about your ideal & what you look for. See if she seems flirty & so forth. If she seems like there is the possibility you may have a chance without offending her, then go ahead & invite her to do something casual.

[crookster_man]

Well it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this situation. Unfortunately it's unlikely that your friends will lay off with the guy talk unless they know you're gay. Lots of people like to play matchmaker and well your a perfect candidate, especially with you keeping the game alive... living a lie.

 

I can't tell you how or when you should come out. Such a choice is very personal. However, any true friend will not leave you for such a thing. As for this other girl I have no idea how to tell her your feelings without taking a risk. Either be blunt and say how you feel and what you are or you can try and make a pass at her and see how she responds either way your going to have to be pretty obvious (which will expose the truth about your orientation)

 

So unless you're ready to step out of that closet... get comfy. I wish I could tell you more but alas this isn't my area of expertise. Good luck in whatever you do and never forget the hardest person to be true to is yourself.

[Jinx]

Thank you both for the advice, it is very much appreciated.

 

For details on my friend - She has never dated (to my knowledge) and never flirted with a guy outwardly (well, when I've been around anyways). So it is a tad bit difficult to depend on any signs from dating or banter between her and a man.

 

Anytime we've spoke of men, when I dated men awhile ago, she would tend to ask questions of "Who do you like?" among other simplified questions about men and the times I'd turn it into a If you tell me I'll tell you situation she wouldn't continue the conversation, never has she told me of someone she likes.

 

I've seen several men hit on her, she is a very intelligent and attractive young woman but she never really seemed to acknowledge it, then again she is quite naive. I couldn't tell whether she just chose to brush off the attempts or just simply hadn't a clue.

 

During the years I dated men I was homophobic as stated (following example to fit in then), she debated with me on the topics of Homosexual Adoption and Marriage, she claimed there was no problem in allowing people to be happy and live life. She didn't seem to approve of the acts, yet, she didn't act sure. She is usually very concrete in her views, that is why I cannot read this, or whatever else that feeling or thought is which she doesn't ever complete when we've spoke on it before.

 

Also, during those years she was much more affectionate towards me but of course I wasn't receptive then in any shape or form if that is what she seeked. I don't think she ever knew I was dating until after I broke up with the last guy, like I say we never engaged openly in relationship talk about ourselves. She isn't touchy feely at all in general talk, not physically affection with most people. When I was bent on being straight no matter what I felt, she would often touch my shoulder or back, sit close enough that our legs or side would touch, do more whispering than truly need be. Just the little things that I suppose could probably be nothing more than friendly or gone unnoticed.

 

Now, on the other hand, when I loosened up on my views and came to reality with my feelings a lot of that ceased. Yet, I don't know if she noticed my sudden decrease or if she lost interest in being close because I was so physically cold to her for so long because I was trying to convince myself of something.

 

She has made statements before about my being one of the important people in her life, one person that could be trusted and never judge her and be able to express emotion with. But these conversations have only ever been in public situations and she makes sure to quickly sum it up with an emphasis on our friendship, that I cannot figure why (Maybe she isn't sure I'm over my homophobia and/or take it wrong?). It is almost like she is nervous or afraid to say things like that when we're alone.

 

Most of my friends are very outgoing about any relationship, sexual or life topic in that extent. They express themselves freely so I know their outlooks, she never seemed comfortable talking about these, and for some reason I find it awkward to bring up such topics without reason. Other friends I could bring up any subtopic within those two carry on a conversation with them like nothing happened. Its easy it flows I'm open as they are. With her it doesn't work like that, which I guess is why its more difficult.

 

For what it is worth, my good male friend whom is gay, is open about it and doesn't want me covering it up in speech. Well most people bypass the comment when I speak of him and boyfriends or his interests, but she showed an extreme interest in his coming out process and how I personally reacted to his "confession" (given I was the first he ever told despite my then negative views of gays) and only two or three others I've spoke to acted in such a manner. Don't know if that is anything significant in the situation though.

 

Edited: For last paragraph.

[Jinx]

Just posting an update on my general situation the topic began with.

 

Didn't end up going to that event, friend had to cancel due to a family emergency, and we've only talked long distance since then not seen one another person to person. I'm hoping to meet up again over Christmas or New Years, maybe then I can tell her. Just have to wait and see. Brought up a lesbian type topic with her (phone) that I thought one couldn't have a neutral stance on, lowe and behold, she had the most neutral stance, she is most difficult to work with at times.

 

Friends haven't bothered me any further trying to hook me up with some guy. They just assume I'm already in a m/f commited relationship and claim I refuse to talk about it because they may disapprove of the man (If thats what they want to think, let it proceed I suppose).

 

More recently, one friend has been talking about her gay friend who wants to come out with his current relationship but is afraid to do so because his family's homophobia. At least homophobia seems to be out the window for her because of the support for him and gay/lesbian individuals/couples, etc... in general terms. The rest of the group seems to have an equivalent opinion so I'm hoping for the best in the near future if I choose to come out to them.

 

Thats about it, nothing too major, just thought I'd let out a few thoughts and the happenings since last time.

[UT]

It's nice to see you here again. Sorry about you not being able to meet up with your friend. Although I'm happy they aren't bothering you about getting a boyfriend. It gives you time to do things in your own paste.

 

It's good that you now know that at least some of your friends could deal with your sexual orientation.

 

Once again, nice to see you here. Let us know as soon as something happens.

[Jinx]

Minor but interesting developments in this story I thought I might as well note and get input on.

 

Well not too long ago I was introduced to a gay friend by my female friends whom I spend lunch breaks with. We clicked instantly it seemed, carried on a many good conversations and had mutual views on an array of current issues. I usually click best with gay men so that isn't a surprise. Yet, when we were alone earlier this week he casually states "You're a lesbian aren't you." Of course, I can't quite ignore the question. I say yes asking Why. He became giddy over the fact explaining about giving off "that type of vibe" with my female group. To be honest, I didn't think I acted any different around them and no one else seems to notice or at least they don't say anything if they do.

 

Second topic, I happened to speak to the good friend of mine which I have an interest in (one I spoke of earlier in my posts). So without honestly pushing any ideas at that moment and actually was relevent, I spoke to her about someone who once gave theory about what Lesbians do and don't do. We compared ourselves to this theory and I thought about the discussion and implied the possibility of "Guess that makes me a Lesbian if so." She just raised an eyebrow at me, repeated Lesbian quietly, and snickered. I just couldn't read this response for sure.

 

I'm not sure if the response was (A) You a lesbian? Sure. If thats true then I'm a (.....) OR (B) You only guess? The answer is obvious.

Threw me off, but unfortunately we were interrupted before I could question any further in a serious manner.

 

Thirdly, I seem to have this odd crush coming back. Crush for a lack of better term. There is this woman whom was in High School with me and we happen to be at the same campus now. Back in HS when she tried to talk to me I went through my Shy period. Since I came out to myself, I've always found an attraction to her but it comes and goes. Yet, most crushes go and stay away for me, but when I am near her it comes back full bore. Maybe more of a lust attraction possibly? Just doesn't feel like strictly lust though, its an odd one.

 

When we were in HS together she would always pose what I now consider subtle "Are you or aren't you?" questions to me but I never noticed it as that then. Now, when I've tried saying Hello on passing she ignores it. I wonder if she thinks I was ignoring her back then instead of shy so is giving me a dose of my own medicine. I doubt there is much chance for anything, she doesn't care for a number of people in my lunch group and she is open about that fact with people.

 

Yet, its like I have this overwhelming feeling of at least need for closure on the social topic. Even if she'd never be interested in me, I feel obligated to make up for all those times way back when I didn't pay attention to her. She currently works early hours on a local student area on campus that I'm a regular at, I want to approach her and converse but during the morning hours I have no reason to approach her desk because of the work she does there.

 

The other day she stood beside me in a line, but I just couldn't find the words for conversation with her, and again I think she may of been giving me a social chance and I ignored it. I would rather not pass up a social chance but I just haven't a clue for once what to say. She is one of the rare individuals for whatever subconscious reason I cannot and never have been able to make eye contact with and far away from making productive conversation with.

 

So that is about my past week or so in a nutshell and would appreciate any input on the situations at hand.

[Jinx]

Progress has been made, and being made.

 

Came out to the lunch group, though it took a bit because I did progressively person by person. Some took it better than others, but I didn't have any outright insults or homophobic this or that. Which I suppose is good with everything considered.

 

Approached the subject with my family, I've concluded, no point in attempting to tell them. After the talk on the lesbian subject I decided they'll either never know or find out elsewhere. I don't think I could tolerate the hatred if I told them face to face, whether that makes me a coward or not, I can't imagine doing so.

 

The female friend of mine that I've been interested in has given me no response or contact since that last day when I earned the odd expression I couldn't judge. Don't know if it is a busy work week or she took a hint and didn't take it too well.

 

The other woman which I wanted to talk to, she hasn't been around since I made my last post. Talk about timing. Her desk area is empty. I haven't a clue what happened there. Wait and see if I pass her again, may not again, not sure. Have to go talk to people see if I can find out something.

[UT]

Even though I haven't replied in a while I still follow your situation and take interest in it.

 

I really happy for you that you have been able to come out to some of the people you know and like. That you are scared of telling your family doesn't make you a coward it makes you human. Besides you family were conservatives, right? Well, only that is enough not to tell them.

 

Sorry to hear that it isn't going very well on the love side of your life. But it's better and easier now that your friends know about you. You can finally start to live your life as a "free" person. Now People, at least some, know who/what you are.

 

Even if you don't have any chance with your friend there's still some hope with the mystically disappeared woman. Try to find her. It's your key to happiness. It's not enough just to come out. That only makes tings easier but well need someone to love too.

 

Good luck honey!

 

Cheers

[Jinx]

Yes it removes some of the burden, which makes me feel a lot better.

 

There is still one individual I didn't get to tell, she hasn't been around a lot lately but turns out she had been working a different shift. Seems no one said anything to her because she had been asking me questions about relationships but in such a way she assumes I'm straight. I can't quite explain it without writing down what she asked me, they were just those sort of assumption questions.

 

My family is conservative. They are more on the extreme conservative and religious portion where they believe in all old ideals, so yes. They've made it perfectly clear before that if they had a child whom "chose to be" homosexual, they'd eliminate that child from their memories. So that pretty much sums it up. As much as I don't care for their beliefs I'm still on a social basis with my Mother and Sister, and rather not alienate myself even if it is the true me which must be concealed. Guess I have to choose between what is worse on this level, and suppose not telling is the better of the bad.

 

Even if you don't have any chance with your friend

Well the friend, I am going to contact her this weekend or early next week just for friendly conversation. See how she reacts to that, with work and all she may just be busy. It has happened before, rarely though, but possible. If I find she can't handle it, well, I'll have to take the words about a true friend will accept you no matter who you are. I know she seemed okay about gay/lesbians in general conversation but sometimes people just speak to appease another party, and I hope this isn't one of those scenarios.

 

there's still some hope with the mystically disappeared woman. Try to find her. It's your key to happiness. It's not enough just to come out. That only makes tings easier but well need someone to love too.

I did find her, strictly by chance though. I was wandering the campus during my free time stretch, I was going in as she was coming out. Made eye contact, said "Hello" to one another at roughly the same time. She even kind of smiled if I remember right. Conversation was minimal as she had to attend class but I think this might be where she is now located. Someone also told me what her classes are, not going to go out stalking, but have better timing when I do feel like talking to her or happen to be that way, looking out in case.

 

I find it interesting though, I mean most other times we've just ignored each other in the same situation but this time we not only greeted mutually but also the eye contact, smile, conversation. For her and I, that is an odd amount of interaction since I presumed it would of been one sided when I did find her compared to all of our other close encounters so to speak. Nope, now this I truly consider a rare by chance situation. What made her and I think about taking advantage of social, facial, general expression at the same happen chance meeting I may never know.

 

Good luck honey!

Thanks

[UT]

[Jinx]

We're now on a daily meet and greet basis, but its only meet and greet if I make eye contact with her, OR, I say Hello to her first if she is busy. The first one to speak can go either way if we happen to be looking at each other and making the eye contact.

 

If I see her out of the corner of my eye and she looks up, but there isn't the eye contact she won't speak. If I'm not alone, she won't speak. If she is passing by me no matter how close and no eye contact, she won't speak. No eye contact, no speak or approach. Unless like I say, I try first. Not quite understanding this myself. I've met people who either say Hey and approach on a regular basis or they don't at all.

 

Examples of each being

I walked past her today, she looked up but didn't say a thing until I spoke first and we met eyes.

 

Then when I was with my lunch group and she was with hers, one group was coming and the other was going, she and I made eye contact but this was the one time we looked at each other and nothing verbal. One person from my group talked to someone else in her group, but she didn't talk to me, she just looked at me the whole time they all talked. At least it was a momentary truce between all of them I suppose.

 

Thirdly, there have been a couple times where I've been writing out essays in my free time or reading and she'll be working in my general area, if I don't say Hey. Hi. Hello or such first I won't hear a peep from her.

Even if it is simple conversation, she acts nice but it has never gone past the typical: Hi. Hey. How are you. Okay and You. Fine. Busy today? Yes. The End. Given she is busy anytime I'm there but so are all the other women there, and I've got a lot better responses from them than I'm getting from her. I'm social so I talk to everyone and anyone there and they'll be doing the same type of work as she is BUT major difference being they take the time to talk to me whereas she'll talk as long as I have questions she can answer in a word or two. Tad bit difficult. I may be a talker, but not a question machine.

 

Anyhow, onto people matters, my friend and I made general contact. She was busy, things haven't been going so well so she wasn't able to catch up with the calls until recently. Seems okay conversation wise with me though, nothing awkward like I thought may happen. So that is good.

[UT]

Good to hear that she didn't disappear because of your conversation.

 

I think the waitress (if I'm not mistaking what she works as) is just shy and that she likes you. I understand your situation even though it is complicated. I myself used to be a person who never greeted unless someone had said something before.

 

Thing seems to be going pretty well.

 

Good luck

[Jinx]

I think the waitress (if I'm not mistaking what she works as) is just shy and that she likes you. I understand your situation even though it is complicated. I myself used to be a person who never greeted unless someone had said something before.

 

That could very well be it. I guess I never thought of that or perceived her as being shy around me given how blunt she had been years ago when she tried to initiate conversation with me. Maybe she just assumed there was nothing to be nervous about then because I wasn't interested? Can't overanalyze this, just keep working at conversation.

 

I'd like to think maybe if I was able to spot her somewhere outside of both work and going to class she'd be more social (maybe it would be backwards then again if she is shy). Unfortunately, I've yet to have a situation with her that fits that description. She is always busy and moving quickly with purpose.

 

I'm debating with myself about eventually asking her out for lunch or something similar and platonic like at first, when conversation is a tad bit more fluid between us.

 

Well, if anything interesting or major happens between either her or my friend I'll be back with another update. Hopefully it'll progress somewhere, and I'll hit a topic that interests her.

 

Edited: For 10/27 given I don't feel like making another post on the same topic until its quite major.

 

Anyhow, seen her outside of the workplace today as I hoped would happen but when I called her (at a distance though) she looked up and around but then kept on walking. I was the only being in the general area, except one older man walking around. So much for that, guess for the time being, better to try up close and personal. In wishful thinking, she could of missed it and just happened to look up, didn't think it was me, thought she was hearing something else. I don't know.

[UT]

I'll be holding my thumbs for you!

[Jinx]

The past couple days since my last update have been as bad as (comparison speaking) conversing with a brick wall (actually I prefer brick walls at this point, they don't run away). We're back to Step 1 or possibly more like Step -1.

 

She won't initiate greetings, and won't return conversation. She will sit there and watch me and my every movement though if I happen to be within eye range.

 

Example being the other day I seen an individual sitting on a bench dressed casually and observing me. I honestly thought it was a man, thereforeeee I become worried by such close observation. Usually I wouldn't but it so happened to be just the two of us and there are some weird ones out there. So keeping my distance I looked at this individual, low and behold, who was it? Her. Dressed down. Dressed down in comparison to the semi professional or formal I am used to.

 

Nonetheless, aside of this, she appears to be trying to steer clear of my path. Where I used to see her at a distance or meet face to face, I rarely do. Since I last updated, there was one day I hadn't seen her at all, so I happened to ask an individual whom usually seen her and this person explained, yes she was still around but she seemed to of altered her path to get from point A to point B.

 

I can understand if she is uncomfortable with me, I've massively toned down my communication and have attempted to allow her to come to me if she is interested just because of these claming up reactions and avoidance she is giving.

 

Yet, I tend to think I'm the one unusually uncomfortable here, I've never really had a situation like this where a person comes on with communication attempts, I finally become receptive (not pushy about any interest though, its only been meet greet and one word response small talk), they clam up avoid me like the plague but overall my peeve is she stares at me in an extremely obvious nothing concealed manner (when she is at a "safe" distance).

 

I'm really debating just what to do in this situation. I can't really talk to her if she runs the other way when I approach. Yet, being watched by her like a cat stalking its prey doesn't make me any happier. I'm having some extremely mixed signal issues here with her.

 

11/2

She approached me today with conversation in mind as it seemed. No avoidance, nothing. We had a productive conversation in the period which we were able to talk. Complete turn around from what I described had been going on. Guess she just needed time and my relaxing about conversation and allowing her to take over. At least things are improving and making progress +1 now. She seemed happy about conversation, and I know I was. Verbal is such an improvement over what had been going on between us.

[Jinx]

I think here concludes my chances with the woman who I had been interested in.

 

She is still somewhat friendly towards me, she'll greet if I do and the basics. Conversation is small talk nothing much more. She'll talk if I happen to be alone and all that jazz I spoke of before.

 

I finally opened my eyes today though, she has a woman whom I had noticed but guess attempted to ignore while I was interesting in pursuing her. Well this other woman, I seen them together today, and they were pushing the friendly personal space limits, were looking at each other closely the whole time (excess eye contact), giggling, the whole bit. It just didn't seem like a friendly deal the way they were clinging and acted so apprehensive to leave one another. I could be wrong but taking everything I've observed, I can't say much otherwise.

 

For here, how they acted is pushing the limits for even the closest of friends, given the environment. Thats what made me think about it, two people of the same sex just don't do that around here in eye shot, they chance the public's idea of branding them "not normal". If I seen them, I'm sure a hundred others did too for that. Right out in the open as such.

 

With this said, I believe it might be time to declare - Back to the ol' drawing board.

 

I'll still talk to her casually but I think this is a lost cause by now to pursue further. She seems more open to talk when I'm quiet anyways (aside of Meeting and Greeting), maybe she'll take a step if there is any interest. Anyhow, as I tend to believe, if the possibility is shot for a romantic interest, you can never have too many acquaintances.

[Jinx]

Herein does conclude my chances.

 

Needless to say without bogging this post with details, as I learned, she is straight. I found out a day or two ago, but hadn't the time to update my posts in order to add in this small tid bit.

 

We haven't talked since learning this essential snippet of information, and in this particular case, I don't know if we will. If she doesn't care to associate any longer, I can just say I tried and move along with life.

[UT]

I'm really sorry honey

Is there no chance at all?

[Jinx]

I'm really sorry honey :sad:

Is there no chance at all?

 

I wish there was but doesn't look possible. The one woman whom I was interested, she sent so many mixed signals (and still is for all I'm concerned) yet preaches she is straight, conservative, christian your typical its all sinful to the end type. I'm just assuming she is either confused or else one of those straight girls whom I've observed love to test the boundries. I assumed she already thought I was a lesbian before she got the information first hand, so I'm not sure what to make of it, just had to be sure? Even then it doesn't make much sense.

 

Nonetheless, the other one woman that is also similar it attitude I spoke of in another post (and like I said for this location, really pushing the friendly limits of interaction) has a boyfriend. Secondly, far as I've noticed, they don't act like this with any other women (then again it wouldn't go over well with other women here) and few men. I'm puzzled what the point is here. I'd hate to think of this being a game to them see how far they can go before they get burnt.

 

For the positive part, I don't mind rejection much, in the end its just another part of life so I can go back out on casual watch if I wish. I'm settling down now though, and content with my overdose of Education and Work. Love is on the back burner unless I find another worth my time to pursue.

 

Its just difficult because there are out women here but most are in relationships constantly -OR- more often, they're not for the idea of long term and commitment like I am so there is a major clash. Then those that aren't out they're well hidden, so I have to play the guessing game, which thus far hasn't turned out anything but a pattern of flirty straight christian women.

 

Anyhow, more importantly, Thankyou for your replies UT, they're the much appreciated support I needed through this confusing situation.

[UT]

Anytime, You've helped me as well. Much more than you might think. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.

 

Hopefully you will find someone soon. Someone who wants a relationship. Good luck.