She doesnt want to quit

[Clive]

Hi everybody,

 

I've been seeing this girl for a year and 2 months, we had some good times but we had conflicts many times too, lately we had a lot of arguments and everytime we argued lately, I tried to quit.

 

Everytime I tried to quit, she told me that I was right (I was truly) and she promised me not to bring up that argument again.

 

After some time, either the same argument comes up or a new stronger one does.

 

Finally, I decided to quit and to never change my mind again.

 

Now the problem lies here,

 

She lives alone

 

(although she has some anties and a grand mother that she can meet).

 

She doesnt speak with her dad cause he is a strange man, but she still speaks with her mum.

 

She left home right when we started seeing each other and her dad warned her that if she leaves from home she could never come back.

 

Also she doesnt have nearly no friends at all.

 

Now that we finished some week ago, I still kept seeing her cause she was too desperate but I kept my decision to not fall again into the relationship with her.

 

She doesnt want to quit with me, its the first time that she is being dumped and she is feeling so bad that she also thought about seeing a doctor.

 

This girl seems to be very negative and doesnt know how to start a new life.

 

She doesnt want to be alone and she also said that its difficult for her to accept that we quit because of the future plans she had in mind and that she is goin to change for sure this time.

 

Ok maybe she might really change but, I lost interest in her now.

 

And I am sure I am never goin to be interested in her as a girlfriend at least.

 

I just want to be her friend and nothing else.

 

I just dont know what to do cause I dont like seeing her desperate and crying and all the other things that go with the desperate situation.

 

I really would like to know what to do to make her accept the end of our relation.

 

I thank you all for reading my topic and I would greatly appreciate any reply that would might help.

 

Thanks everybody.

[Penny1041]

Hey there,

You sound like a pretty decent guy. I really understand your situation, and I think its real important to keep your distance from her while she is recovering from the break up. Maybe one day you two can be friends but for now, she needs time to digest all thats happened and loosing you. Know what I mean?

Its gonna be hard for her not having many friends but there is all kinds of groups out there that are free even. Does she attend church or school? Anyway, keep your distance,so she doesnt hang on to false hope, and give her a little time to pull herself back together, maybe then you two can be friends...

Just my opinion..

 

 

Penny

[m4viz]

u are just fu*k up.

 

she move out because of u.

she has no friends.

when she need u the most, u left her.

u are totally fu*ked up person!

[Clive]

Hi again,

 

I would like to thank Penny for understanding the situation and for giving me the best advice one could give, i appreciate that and would like to take the opportunity to thank you.

 

As for scorpio and m4viz, thanks for your reply too but there is somethings I would like to tell you,

 

Dear scorpio,

what do you call a person that has no one and her boyfriend left her cause he lost interest in her and not just staying with her cause he is pittying her and that she is feeling down about the situation and that she might have no friends?

 

What do you call that person when he/she is crying and feeling down in that situation?

 

If you dont call him/her desperate, tell me the right word to use please i would surely appreciate to use the right words so not to hurt anybody or use the wrong word for his/her position. Thanks again.

 

As for m4viz,

 

I am not fu**ed up and watch your words before you talk to people you dont even know.

 

Are you here to give your advice or youre here to offend people?

 

I am not fu**ed up, I asked for help to do the right thing and not to hurt anybody and just dont accept that someone like you try to hurt anybody like me for example that is looking for help so not to hurt the person I am quitting with.

 

Please think twice on what words you use with everybody.

 

Either give a good advice or else go to offend yourself.

 

Secondly, She didnt move out because of me but of her strict for nothing DAD.

 

Secondly, she doesnt have friends because it was her choice, I always encoureged her to have friends so the reason that she has no friends its not my fault.

 

She is not in a situation that she is needing me the most, she just doesnt want to end the relation because she know that she was wrong and she realised that she is goin to loose a great honest partner that she created arguments with for nothing and that now she regrets it.

 

I hope that now you understand that all of you understand that I am calling her desperate because she is at the moment.

 

Everyone can be desperate in some situations during his life including me and everybody else.

 

And if you are here to give an advice, make sure you read the post properly and that you understand what the situation is before you do give an advice without the need of offending people and that goes for everybody who might have done such a mistake.

 

I still thank all of you guys that have tried to give their advice.

 

I wish you all the best in life in every kind of situation and thanks a lot especially to penny.

 

Take care all of you and god bless you.

[liambilson]

The poor girl is going through a rough time and needs support. I know because I have just been dumped too ! It's up to the individual how much personal support you want to give. Why don't you ask her to check out this website . It's very comforting and helpful !

[Clive]

Hi Liambilson,

 

I understand what you mean,

 

I will try to tell her about it, i am sure she might feel better talking to people in the same situation or from people that could give her a more understanding words about this situation. I might not be good enough to help her and so I think I would be very helpful to do so.

 

Thanks and I hope she accepts to join or read this website.

 

Regards,

 

Clive

[Painting_MonaLisa]

Clive,

I think no one should be so judgemental on these forums. I think asking opinions for a situation is great. More info the better. Personally if you didn't want to be with me I would want to know that. I would want the chance to move on. I don't want anyone to pity me so much they would stay with me for that reason. I would not want to appear that desperate. Some people would be willing to put up with that just to be with someone.

In the end you would resent it. It is over and it is up to her to deal with it in her own way. She will be ok (we all are sooner or later) and you will only give her hope if you keep in too much contact with her. Just be kind and let her move on and don't keep any hope alive.

If you wish to be friends later, than make it much later OK?

[gersanos]

Let me just as this. Let's say that you two were married. Things fall apart in your spouses life (job/career, her parents die, etc.). She's human, she's going to feal depressed. The most confident man or woman even falters in life. We're human. What would you do? Loss of interest?

 

It's just a hypo. I ask because I have always booked from girls when stuff like this happened. I thought they had too many problems. Then it happened to me one time, and I had nothing but hatred in me for being abandoned. When times are goof things are great, when things go bad then I was stuck all alone.

 

Similar situation, different details.