does he still have feelings for me?

[refused_82]

Hi all,

 

Was wondering about something I was hoping you guys could give me some opinions/insight on.......help me think ....

 

My ex and I were together for 9 months, when he broke up with me as he wasnt ready to be in serious rship and i was definetly on that rd........I was his first gf, first everything, and we always got along great. I had never trusted or respected anyone as much as I did he. The break up was, well, a break up, but still for a break up purs was pretty good, we just talked n listened and understood each other. He was having a hard time having lost his job and doin colege and university studies and problems at home.........he needed a break........unfortunately form everything........

 

Although i was hurt i wanted what he wanted, what else could i do? so i let him go wihtout any questions or begging, nada. i loved him enuff to let him go........

 

we went about 7 weeks with no contact except for 2 emails he sent me straight after our break up explaing further why he broke up with me and that his reasons were true n that he didnt know if we would get back together or not but he said 'not' the day we broke up so i wouldnt wait for him and be happy with my life and not sit and worry about him...

 

he was gentle and kind as always.......

 

anyways after the 7 weeks no contact we started light email n then after 6 months being broken up we met up........we had been chattin on the phone alittle here n there........i was over him, i saw him and i was completely fine and thought cool I am definetly over him.......

 

THEN we hung out again the next weekend on the sunday night n then again the night following, and i started to feel comfort and love again as we so get along and things seem to be even better then they were between us except and maybe beacuse we arent together.........

 

i decided to ignore these feleings, i didnt see him the weekend after that but i did the following 2 weekends n then this past weekend i spent all weekend with him including us stayin up until 5 am. I noticed that he was sat in the middle of a 2 seater couch ( me next to him) so he was sitting as close as he possibly could to me, n he was "accidently" touching my foot and then teasing me with tickles and stuff. This is full on for him, so now im confused. I knwo this is flirting but is this a sign he still has feelings for me?? he works weeknights so i only see him on weekends, im not sur ehow i feel, its like i cant decide what i want etc until i know what he feels, i dont want to ask him yet.........just see what your guys impression is first.

[passions1]

He might just be flirty with you b/c he already knows you & it could be that he is lonely. Whether he's ready for a relationship is questionable. If he meant what he said & is not ready for any commitment or serious relationship then he just maybe seeking female companionship. However, if you think you have strong feelings for him, then you will want to keep your distance in terms of not letting physical contact become intimate & just keep in light & friendly. The last thing you want is to be used or having your emotions messed up by him or yourself in terms of analyzing the situation.

[refused_82]

Yeah I know you are right. He is human and a guy after all, just beacuse he is like the kindest person i know doesnt mean he wont harmlessly flirt with me. It's like sometimes i think hes so sweet and never hurt me and always done things in my interest that I think he would only do this if he wanted to get back together but I know that is nieve, and your advice is right.

 

I would NEVER get physically intimate with him and to be honest i really REALLY dont think he would even if i wanted to. he's just not like that and I aint that dumb.

 

Yeah it is tough. my feelings relight when i am with him again now, but i have it under control, its nothing huge and it isnt something i cant cope with, ia m still tyring to move on from that tho. I know seeing him is the prob there, but hes still my best friend and im not goin to stop seieng him unless it begins to hurt or get too confusing.......

 

Thanks for answering my post. I know it wasn't an urgent matter, and last cpl times ive posted noone has really replied. So thanks

[guapa]

has his life situation changed at all since he broke up with you?

 

if it has, maybe there is a chance....

[refused_82]

Yeah it has BIG time.

 

When we broke up he had lost his job, and was struggling to get his uni and college assignments done, it was stressin him out, but this would have only been complimentary reasons to why he broke up with me, the main reason was he didnt want or to be in a serious rship. hes only young 23 but younger in ways seems he hasnt ever had gf before or anything.

 

He has since got a new job, the one he wanted, and has money, alot of it, and is so much mroe happier, he isnt stressed like he used to be and i also have changed alot n i know he thinks that!

 

hes unusual in ways, he can never and has never been able to jus have sex with ppl, and he takes things like rships etc v seriously. he lost his virgintiy to me at 22 and even then we had been together 2 months.....

 

hes a v honest and amazing guy that how i knwo it isnt anything like he wants to see sleep around or anything.

 

he hasnt even been on one date since we split, just way he is.... i have been on a few. only little ones though.

 

everyone has said how much happier he is, i mean 7 monthsd has past and alot has changed for both of us, we both have new jobs and new hobbies, even new friends.......

 

whatever happens im glad were mates, i just wish i knew if he was lettin me know he still or has felings for me again......when we go to leave each other fatre hangin out we hug for like 3 minutes, its really sweet, i love that.....

 

i had to ask him out n made the first move when we first hooked up. I used to even say to him if i hadnt of made the first move would he have ever??? hes v shy like that. i didnthave a clue he liked me, we used to hang out n all but not much etc, then i found out he had always liked me so i was stoked haha.........but yah hes definetly diffrent......

 

my gf also said the same thing that cos his life has changed maybe he has changes his mind bout me

[guapa]

Definitely sounds like it. I think he definitely is interested in you and you in him.

 

I would savor it, don't let anything go too fast, try to enjoy it and not worry about getting together. It sounds like he wants to, be his friend, hang out, enjoy the love the two of you share and let things progress naturally without worrying about it (I know it can be hard not to).

Seems like he wants to get back together but is taking his time and I think that's a good thing because it's good not to rush....

[refused_82]

ok so I spent monday and last night with my ex, we had the best day out just havin fun etc n then he had to go to his night course but came back over to mine afterwards to watch dvds........he ended up fallin asleep as did i on the couch, we both woke up round same time and just sat there chattin abit then i said did u wanna stay or u goin to go home? n he said ohh n was kinda nervous n said oh maybe i should stay cos im tired n it wouldnt be safe to drive.....( he lives 5 - 10 mins away b7ut yah it is true, he was def tired). so he stayed the night, he slept with me, it was strange at first, but we both just fell asleep ( THANK GOD NUTTIN ELSE) he would have never tried to crack onto me in bed anyways, just isnt him.

 

it was so firmiliar n it wa snice sure, but im still confused, im so reading into this i know n its pathetic, its just i wish i knew what was goin on in his head ....... i would love to start dating him again, i dont want proper rship as were both so busy and im happy being single at moment. not single as in i can go out n have fun n pick up, but single in the way that i can focus on my studies , go to the city to visit my best friends without feeling ghuilty, have me time in my new place painting etc........all that sorta jazz, im happy n ild want us to take it slow, so yah wish knew what he was thinkin........

 

anyways just goes to show tho i suppose that accepting someone when they break up with u n lovibg em enuff to let them go and not bombarding them with questions n phone calls goes a long way in the end, it takes time but u so have better chance of being friends/ close/ getting back together if u do just accept thing n try n move on........guess im just v happy were atleast close still