wife has moved out

[ultra glide 46]

My wife of 27 years my highschool sweetheart has moved out she said she cant take it any more (my Depression)we have 3 teenage kids they are with me still. she said she was fiing for divorce but then backed off.

I dont want to break up. my self and kids went to family reunion out of town when we got back I seen she put 150 miles on car said she just went a few places this got me upset couse I new it was a lie and my imagination was taking over my thoughts, we did have sex later and I was very aggressive wth her and hurt her but she never said anything till she went to the doctors and then filed a police report I have never physically harmed her in 27 years I did not meen to hurt her then?? she cant look at me now, All I really wanted in life was to be her and my kids provider an protector now I am at a lost as to what to do. I realize I take out alot of my frustrations out on her, and I know I am wrong.

She does talk and has met at a bar at least once with a guy from work who is also married.she is 46 I dont know if this is all becouse of me or maybe menopause? I was totlly tore up for a few weeks I am getting stronger each day I am self employed am afraid i might lose my business as well as her. I really need some advise

[sharkbait]

Hey.

 

Being 19 i dont have any advice that would make sense or be useful.

 

Just letting you know that im hoping it all works out for you and your kids!

[aries]

Do yourself a favor...you mentioned depression.......go see a therapist. they wil help you find the answers you are looking for within yourself. Things will get easier. Be strong

[NewPhillyGuy]

Definitely see a therapist and if necessary a psychiatrist for medication to treat your depression. If you hurt your wife, you definitely need to talk to your therapist about that.

 

I went through relationships where I was emotionally and physically abused by two women. You may laugh at me because I'm a guy, but it's not easy. Some people think it's ok to fight back, but I do not. My last girlfriend hit me quite a few times and twice I snapped and slapped her back. I could not believe what I did, and I forced myself to back down, breathe, and try to understand her anytime she got so angry. I did not want to become like her, and I have stopped. Please help yourself. Talk to your wife and figure out what's happening that makes either or both of you that angry. I would suggest marriage counseling. That would be very helpful.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

Definitely go to counselling right NOW. 1. This will help you avoid doing things that you don't want to do...like hurt your wife.

 

2. It will show your wife you want to change! You want her back right! Then counselling is the way to go!!!!

 

It sounds like whatever is going on with you is driving her away and maybe into someone else's arms. But don't just sit there and stew, go to a counsellor NOW. Accept your responsibility and try to fix it.

 

Good luck,

Phreckles

[BellaDonna]

we did have sex later and I was very aggressive wth her and hurt her but she never said anything till she went to the doctors and then filed a police report

 

That was probably very traumatic for her. If it were me- I'd leave too honestly.

 

I realize you have 27 years with her and you want this to work out. I agree with the others: seek counseling. At some point you may ask her if she wants to go to couples counseling with you. That will help to address your depression/aggression and her possible cheating For now, give her space and talk to a therapist on your own.

 

BellaDonna

[Penny1041]

I hope you do get counceling.. If you have friends of your own, you should hang out with them and focus on your own life too.

No matter how bad things are with you and your wife, they will be worse if you loose your source of income. I know its very hard to think about it when so much is going on, but you NEED to keep your business going. I was married for ten years, and my ex husband got fired from the best job he ever had. Now hes making minimum wage and regrets not trying harder to save his career.

I sincerely hope your able to stay strong and be there for your kids. If you ever wanna chat, PM me.

 

 

Penny

[avman]

I support the other members, you need to get some counseling for your depression and for anger management/aggression. You need to sort out some things for yourself before you can really work on putting the relationship back together.

 

Couples counseling might be something to try as well. If your wife is willing to try to work on things, then it's worth a shot.

[Hope75]

Exactly how rough were you with her? Could it be classified as rape? Have you accepted any responsibility for that?