Why woman find new partners sooner then man after break up!

[SadGuy]

I've been wondering, from my own experience and my guy friends, it seems that woman start dating and find new partners sooner then man. I do feel attracted to other girls too, but after break up (if relationship was long) it takes me a while before I can start dating. I dont feel for anybody else 'till the grief is over. I think that woman go through something else. Can someone explain this to me. I do know that its easier for for woman to date because they get approached all the time.

[Day_Walker]

I think that there are some people out there who want another relationship (of some sort even if dating) after they have broken up. Probably the most common answer you will hear is that they dont want to be lonely or they dont like the feeling of being lonely. This kind of behavior means that they are willing to jump back into dating even though they havent healed from the break up. It may be the case that they didnt need to heal that much after the break up.

[OceanEyes]

I've found that the quickest and most effective way to move on from a break-up is to start seeing someone else. This "something else" doesn't have to be deep or meaningful in any way, but meant more as a fun distraction.

 

Why sit at home brooding over a failed relationship (which can be extremely painful), when you can get out of the house and meet new people. It helps us to move on because it makes us feel better.

[Natedoggld182]

i wish i knew why women started dating faster than men.....

[arwen]

Hey sadguy,

 

Welcome to enotalone!

 

I think the distinction might not be between men and women, but maybe between dumper and dumpee. The person who decides to break off a relations probably got part of the closure before the actual break up.

 

As for girls, I think it might be easier for them to rebound, yes. If you're looking for a night of fun, it's probably easier as a girl. But to find new real love, I think there are no clear distinctions.

 

Ilse.

[bronx_brawla]

IV BEEN RECENTLY BROKEN UP WITH MY EX FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS NOW...AND IM FINDING OUT NOW...THAT SHES TALKING TO THIS ONE GUY. THE THING IS IS THAT SHE'S LIED TO ME ABOUT IT. SHE TOLD ME SHE DIDNT HAVE HIS NUMBER. AND IT TURNS OUT SHE DID. I FOUND OUT INDIRECTLY FROM HIM. PLUS SHES BEEN CLUBBING...DRESSING MORE APPEALING...AND TALKIN TO A SH*T LOAD OF GUYS.

AND IT KILLS ME BECUASE IM STILL NOT OVER HER..AND SHES BEEN ON THE ROAD TO GETTING OVER ME...BUT SHES NOT QUITE.

---MY POINT IS , IS THAT ITS A SHAME THAT THEY HAVE TO MOVE ON SO QUIKLY. MAYBY SHES NOT DOING ANYTHING WITH THIS GUY...BUT SHE MUST LIKE HIM ENOUGH TO TALK TO HIM ON THE PHONE AND LIE TO ME ABOUT IT. BY THE WAY...THIS GIRL HAS TOLD ME NOTHING BUT LIES, SO I REALLY DONT KNOW WHATS THE TRUTH ANYMORE. SO EVEN IF I DID ASK HER IF SHES DOIN ANYTHING WITH THE KID...SHE'LL JUST LIE AND TO ME.

---BUT YEAH I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

-BX

[shes2smart]

Possible theory: After a break-up, most women have a lot of girlfriends they can talk to/commiserate with/cry with. That's what women do -- they talk to their girlfriends about the details of their emotional lives.

 

Men don't tend to do that with their guy friends. Men tend to go out and do things (play games (sports or other games), watch sports, go out drinking) with their friends and not necessarily spend much time talking to their buddies about their feelings.

 

Because women may tend to talk about/process through their feelings more, they may get over it faster than men.

 

But I've known plenty of guys who were off to the next girl shortly after a break-up, too.

[rascal]

Men don't tend to do that with their guy friends. Men tend to go out and do things (play games (sports or other games), watch sports, go out drinking) with their friends and not necessarily spend much time talking to their buddies about their feelings.

 

boy are you wrong.

[BillyJean714]

Why not? It's fun to add enjoyment in our lives, especially when we're grieving. Only thing that makes it sticky is when the person you casually date wants more. Another thing is, it can get really boring after a while. After a few dates, especially with guys who I know their only interest is to get into my pants, I just wanna gag, because it takes away the fun out of it.

 

I think for me, I can't speak for all women, because some of them like to get laid after a break up, for me, it's just all pure fun and innonence! It's not like we want to lead guys on. We just like going out on dates just for the heck of it. I just like getting to know different people after a break up, because it shows me that it's not the end of the world. If I like a guy enough, sure, something may progress. But don't expect anything out of me, especially sex, and in other cases, even a kiss/holding hands! And lastly, if a guy wants to know that he's not being lead on, take it as a hint when a girl offers to go dutch. Sometimes, a girl may pay just because she feels bad, but most of the times, she does so as a way to let the guy know she wants to keep the friendship 'platonic.' If I like a guy enough, I would definitely allow him treat me like a lady and pay. In exchange, I might offer to pay for other things. The point is, when a girl likes a guy and he likes her too, she accepts his romantic gestures. If not, then reallize that the relationship won't likely go anywhere!

[shes2smart]

Men don't tend to do that with their guy friends. Men tend to go out and do things (play games (sports or other games), watch sports, go out drinking) with their friends and not necessarily spend much time talking to their buddies about their feelings.

 

boy are you wrong.

 

Never claimed it was right. Just a theory based on the men I have known, who may come from a very different generation than yourself and your friends.

[thusspakez]

it easier for women to get laid in our culture than it is for men because that's the way our culture is constructed. (men are taught to spread their seed widely; women are taught to protect their nest--something like.) women can always find men to sleep with them at the drop of a hat; men have to work at it a little, or a lot, harder. but it's no easier for women to find sex with an emotional connection than it is for men. the woman i recently split with was in bed with someone (actually 2 someones, at once) within 12 hours of our break up. it took me about a week, both to be ready to go for it, and to find someone who i wanted to be with and who wanted to be with me. but be aware: while sleeping with someone may be a good temporary distraction, and may make you feel sexual and desireable again (especially if you're feeling kind of emasculated by the breakup), it's also likely to feel pretty empty, hollow, not as good as sex with the person you loved and left (or were left by).

[quing]

Give it 6 months with another guy and then they soon relise that they are not over it. It is all a big farce, false smiles, drinking more to hide the real issues and then convincing themselves that they are over their ex, but as soon as that glow of 'something different' fades with that other person and the challenge is now over for her and him, much to the ex's annoyance they relise they want you back and must have you back because they have relised that having sex with someone else, doing things with someone else like meals and stuff and just looking at someone else is not what they left behind. The then want to return for both nastalgic reasons and the fact that they really remember why they left you. It is here at this point you are happy and healed and maybe with someone else, and you tell them to clear off.

 

Ex's at this time are like p*ssed in bath water.

[moondog627]

Amen, brother.

[Regretfulman]

Very very true, my ex broke up with me and immediately went out with someone else, 3 weeks later she is calling him her boyfriend. no way she can just jump right into something serious after 1 year with me. Funny thing is, she wouldn't meet with me after the breakup cuz she said it wouldn't be fair to the new guy, but she could call me every week and talk, what non-sense. Anyways, I'm sure she also made the new guy seem "too good to be true". Who commits to someone new after 3 weeks of breaking up with someone else? I think once the honeymoon stage is through, she will be wanting me back, its basic psychology.