Echo Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 The last week I have to say, I would read SuperDaves posts when I got the urge to break NC, and it worked. So many people say do NC , DO NC... but Dave puts in in perspective, and somehow gives us hope. So dave thanks so much for your posts, it has helped immensley. I must confess I AM probably one of the worst at breaking NC. I don't know WHY I do it, I really don't...but I am determined to stop! I guess I have been weak. I am amazed when I read others posts...that they have not broken NC in months. I am SO jealous and then I feel like kicking myself. But I am determined to STOP and maintain NC. I will post here everyday if I have to for support...on this thread. My last email to him was a few days ago, wishing him a Happy birthday, to which he did reply. I know if I can make it a month I will be ok. So today is day 4. I feel pretty embarrassed that I am like this, but as I said, I am one of the worst. So please bear with me, I need support. Link to comment
Echo Posted August 28, 2005 Author Share Posted August 28, 2005 Oh, by the way....my goal RIGHT NOW is to make it 1 FULL month with NC...I am trying to keep my goals low for now. Once I reach it, I know it will get easier. Thanks again. Link to comment
lifeiscash Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 You can do it Echo, I have faith in you.. why?? Because I know deep down within yourself you have the courage to make yourself better, expect the best, and let yourself control you.. not the other way around. No commitment is very hard, and never easy. At times you will want to give up because you can't stop thinking about your past, but your past is an addiction.. an addiction that could be brought to an end, an addiction that can be broken where you can start new enjoyable experiences in your life. I know you want that, as did I.. It was the hardest time I ever had with a woman after my x, but i was determined to no longer give up my control, determined to prove to MYSELF that I have the ablility to control everything about me in this life. If you need support, we are here for you... and if you ever feel like talking, just give me a private message.. BTW - take it one day at a time Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Echo, I am so proud of you. I know it is soooo tough. I know it is one of the hardest things you can do but you can do it...I woudl start off with 2 weeks..then build on that. I want to commend you on something. Most people in your curent situation do not know how hard it is to even go 4 days...you have been Very strong. YOU can do this....Post here is you get weak and someone will respond...You have to do this for yourself....NOT HIM....Be strong ECHO.....YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! Thank you for your kind words Echo!!!! I really appreciate it!!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Echo Posted August 28, 2005 Author Share Posted August 28, 2005 Thank you Dave...and LifeisCash.... I REALLY feel like there is something wrong with me when I break NC, so it is reassuring to know that others deal with the same thing. I have managed to go 2 weeks with NC ....but not longer than that,which is why I made 1 month my goal. I am trying to keep my goals within reason. One day at a time....and yes I will post here EVERYday. Some times I beat myself up for not being stronger...but I know that time will come. Thanks again for your encouraging words Dave..I will keep posting Link to comment
LadyV Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Although i tried to do the NC thing, i was rubbish & only lasted a couple of days each time when my ex initially walked away (end of May). However, I managed 2 weeks in July & then we spoke by accident (long story) but i'm doing good again. I've not seen him for over a month, haven't phoned/spoken to him for close to a month & haven't text for 9 days now & i'm not even tempted to. I text last to say i hoped he'd have a great time on holiday & he text back saying thanks, he'd try & that he hoped i was good. However, the problem i've got now is that i want to last alot longer with the NC but if he texts, what do i do? Part of me will want to respond to 'keep the door open' & the other part won't. Any thoughts would be good Link to comment
venus777 Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Can you remove your text function? Link to comment
LadyV Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 I can't remove it & whilst part of me would like to, at the same time, i wouldn't want to. It's difficult because since my ex walked away (3 months ago), he's pretty much had a break-down & has said he can't cope (numerous probs going on in his life which he kept quiet). Whilst he's hurt me unbelieveably, i want to be there for him if he needs me, even if it's from a distance. I'm not contacting & won't be contacting but i want to 'keep the door open'. It's hard but i'm trying to be ok with what's going on. Link to comment
venus777 Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 you know, my ex too, he hurt me a great deal AND he admits (when he isn't blaming me) that he has lots of problems. I think that for your own sake you can't just be there for him, he has to find ways to deal with things on his OWN. Really, for your sake, DO NOT text message him. If you really can't resist the urge, change your phone number so he can't contact you and just let him know that you can't be contacting him for, say, 6 months, or something, just so that you can heal and that it isn't that you're being hurtful but just looking out for yourself at the moment. Believe me, I regret trying to do things to be my exes friend when he requested it because he needed a friend and then he turned around and told me that I'm sick and things and his housemate thinks bad of me too. He isn't a friend and it hurts a lot and one has to look out for #1. Link to comment
Echo Posted August 29, 2005 Author Share Posted August 29, 2005 Well...today I feel really good. I usually have more good days than bad...but those bad days are BAD!!! lol I am sure many can relate. Anyway, I will be posting everyday....whether it's good , bad or indifferent, and I will try keeping my posts as brief as possible. Today is day 5.....yeah not very long, and one of MANY attempts, but I am making a sincere effort to stick to it. I have also started practicing spirituality. I am not sure if many of you do this, but it makes me feel better, and it lifts a lot of burdens off my shoulders, especially with regard to this. I don't feel so responsible for the outcome anymore. I am not trying to force things....Just letting things happen the way they are supposed to. I reccomend this practice to anyone going through this. Have a great day! Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Echo, I am proud of you....Remember...Keep moving forward...NEVER look back and try not to be weak and contact him. Your doing great!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Echo Posted August 30, 2005 Author Share Posted August 30, 2005 Today is Day 6 of NC...I saw him online and just signed off right away. I don't know if I am on his list or not. I used to wonder...now I don't even think about it. I really think I am close to getting past this. Yes, I have occasional relapses...where I wonder if he might contact me, or if I will ever hear from him again, and honestly I cannot allow myself to be worried with those thoughts. Right now I am focusing on me. I will think about the rest later. Hope everyone is doing well Keep smiling!! Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Keep it up....Don't worry about a friends list on an IM service....Just be you.....relax and Just be you!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Echo Posted August 30, 2005 Author Share Posted August 30, 2005 Thanks Dave....I am just sick and tired and being sick and tired...and feeling stuck. Ugh!! I know it's a mind over matter thing. I am going to beat this..lol.. Link to comment
Echo Posted August 31, 2005 Author Share Posted August 31, 2005 This is my first week of NC. Seven days. WOW it went fast! lol I must be getting better at this. It hardly crossed my mind to contact him, although I still think about him like crazy. Hmmmmm Maybe I realize I DO have the ultimate control over my emotions. I am thinking about consequesnces a lot more than I used to....so this is a good thing. So anyway....today is my FIRST week of NC (again)..... Wish me luck!! Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted September 1, 2005 Share Posted September 1, 2005 A week can seem like a year sometimes....Congrats on yoru FIRST WEEK!! Keep it up Echo!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
misslonelyheart Posted September 1, 2005 Share Posted September 1, 2005 NC does get easier. My ex left me in February and I last saw and spoke to him at the end of March. Since then, there has only been one email and a text which were about things other than our relationship (or lack of!). So it has been 5 months since I have had any meaningful contact with my ex and it has got to the point where the thought of actually seeing him or speaking to him again is harder than not contacting him.. so give it time, trust me, it gets a lot easier. Feel proud of yourself for every day that goes by without contact...I do Link to comment
didyoumissme Posted September 1, 2005 Share Posted September 1, 2005 Oh, by the way....my goal RIGHT NOW is to make it 1 FULL month with NC...I am trying to keep my goals low for now. Once I reach it, I know it will get easier. Thanks again.Today is my first day of no contact! I started today thinking it's a new month & the first. I'm going to try to do NC all this month! Good Luck Link to comment
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