What do u notice first?

[RayKay]

LOL Belladonna, I had an ex that said it was my breasts too.

 

My boyfriend though insists it (and I quote him) was your electric presense and aura that you gave off.

 

I still say given we were meeting from online, he was just relieved I looked like my pictures...and I DID catch him checking out both the breasts and the butt a few times that night!

[Beec]

It's not teh same as the above, but one my fourth or fifth date with my gf, I got caught checking out her breasts. It was probably not the first time she saw me, and I know it was not the first time I'd ever been caught. And I did not try to hide it at all. Then she asked me if I liked her breasts. And I looked right in her eyes and said "among other things". Her response: "That is so hot."

[northernlights]

Oh yeah, since Shinobie and skyteph were talking about how women need to maintain weight and stuff, just in case any girl out there's wondering, you need (minimum) 30 minutes of exercise every day to see any weight loss (eventually). 2 or 3 times a week is to maintain it, I'm sure because, I exercise 2-3 times a week and I maintain my weight fine, but I also have a high metabolism, I drink lots of water, and fortunately don't have any problems with obesity in my genes, I really think genetics has a lot to do with if your overweight or not, don't make up the excuse that its your genes because you sit around all day and eat too much carbs and your not active enough. Just get 30 minutes of exercise every day, its not going to kill you.

.

 

It kind of pains me to read about weight-loss advice in this thread, because so many girls out there are already super-conscious about their weight. And believe me, we KNOW all the basics of weight-loss. Eat less carbs and fat. Do cardio. Do weights. Don't overeat. Blah blah blah. Just pick up a women's fashion mag (Cosmo, Glamour, etc.) and you'll find at least five articles on how to look/become/stay thin.

 

It's still not that easy for us though. You have to remember that not only do you have a genetically high metabolism, you are also 15 years old. At that age, your metabolism is through the roof. (Oh, and boys have way faster metabolisms than girls) When I was 15, I could eat all the junk I want and remain my svelte self. Then I hit 18 and my metabolism completely died on me, and now I have to workout super hard at the gym and watch everything I eat so that I can keep the weight I'm happy with.

 

Basically, don't assume that keeping a nice figure for a girl is that simple. It's darn hard!

 

While on the topic though, I have a question for you males. How much do you really notice a girl's weight? I know I fluctuated with 15 lbs of weight last year and my ex-boyfriend never noticed a thing. I also remember reading about a survey taken that said girls place the ideal female weight two sizes lower than guys do.

After all, we can't all look like thin models...

[Beec]

How much do we notice? A lot. How much do we tell you we notice, not much.

 

As far as ideal sizes, not every guy wants a model-thin woman. Pick any possible shape of a woman, from waif-like to obese, and you can find a man who likes that shape. Most men want a woman who is and looks physically fit.

 

If you looked at the science, you would find that the ratio of a woman's hips to waist matters more than actual size. You can have a woman who is a size 8 and looks a little overweight and another who looks very thing at that size. Some studies showed that over 50 years the size of contestants in certain beauty contests changed, but what remained constant was the average ratio of the contestants' waist to their hips, 0.68 to 0.80.

[ShySoul]

I want all that you, Shysoul, say you want AND more. I want all of me, my more advanced and more primitive aspects appreciated by my woman, and I want to see and appreciate hers. And what could be wrong with that?

 

Not to take anything away from yours or any relationship featuring the lust aspect, but I don't think you can say that you want more. If you knew me personally you would understand that I value being honestly loved for who I am inside more then anyone you will probably ever meet. I don't expect people to understand, only a couple ever have. But the body isn't important to me, its a shell that holds the real person. Yes, I find my girl to be the most beautiful person in this world. She is gorgeous on the outside. But it pales in comparison to the beauty that is on the inside. If I truly care for someone, I can't lust after them. I love them, cherish them, care for them, want to be by there side ever second of the day. I think about holding her and loving her. But I do not lust, do not want her body or sexual pleasures. I want to be with her, the real her.... her heart, her mind, her soul.

 

I don't want to deny any of me or my woman.

 

I'm not denying any of me. I'm being more open then I ever have before. I'll share everything that I am. It just happens that who I am is someone who has extremely little lust in him, and someone who has an extremely high about of love and higher virtues to share.

 

Why do you think the two need to be mutually exclsuive? Why do you think that simply acknowledging that we have baser elements makes us primitive?

 

It's not aknowledging, I do that too. It's allowing ourselves to give into them, to revert back to primitive states. I'm not repressing anything, I am fully aware of all facets of human behavior. And what I see is something so much greater that we could be pursuing, something that will give pleasure on a scale that baser elements can't even begin to come close to. Why settle for mundane, when you can experience heaven?

 

I think it creates more of a chemistry and a connection, and also adds FUN.

 

Most fun I have ever had was simple lying with and holding someone I love more then anything in the world. Nothing at all sexual about it. So much fun we wanted to do it all day long. That brought a closer connection then I've ever had with anyone, and chemistry is diffently there. We have fun, we are close, and what's happening hasn't a thing to do with lust. So while most people might need it, its entirely possible to go beyond that and still experience every bit the pleasure and enjoyment.

 

Then she asked me if I liked her breasts. And I looked right in her eyes and said "among other things". Her response: "That is so hot."

 

Well good for you guys. Guess I'd just rather look into heart. Or if you want physical, get lost in her eyes, let her smile warm your heart. I'm just to respectful to be "checking out" her breasts.

 

How much do you really notice a girl's weight? I know I fluctuated with 15 lbs of weight last year and my ex-boyfriend never noticed a thing. I also remember reading about a survey taken that said girls place the ideal female weight two sizes lower than guys do.

After all, we can't all look like thin models...

 

Great point as usual northernlights. Do guys really pay attention to that stuff? And if they do, isn't that a tad silly? Point is, if you like her, she'll be beautiful. Besides, we are all getting older. Guys, you'll be putting on the pounds too, you'll be losing some of that hair. But if your lucky, you'll find someone who will stick with you through that. So clearly it isn't the looks that let something last, its whats deeper.

 

How much do we notice? A lot. How much do we tell you we notice, not much.

 

Works the other way you know. Girls are perceptive, they pick up on far more then your aware. They are just better at being subtle about it.

 

And call me crazy, but those girls in beauty contests tend to be on the lower end of what I would call attractive. There fine and all, since everyone is attractive in their own way. But I would hesitate to really think of them as a picture of beauty.

 

And now to practice my talent, pick out a suit for the evening wear competition, and wish for world peace....

[Stinkweed]

What I notice first physically is a combination of the eyes, nose, smile and hair. All that can be just presentable (doesn't have to be like a hollywood actress...), but if she has a great personality and looks like she's down to earth and realistic (even if she's a little shy), then she's interesting in my book. Most girls that are too hot in my school can't be trusted (I've heard 1/3 of the ppl in school have stds... which is pretty scary cause it's way less than 1/3 of the ppl that look super trampy... so basically anyone, even if they don't look like a tramp in your opinion, could have stds). Anyway, It's been like a year since I've been that interested in a girl... crap. And I'm not demanding at all when it comes too looks... but perhaps I make up for it when it comes to personality... I dunno what's wrong with me. Anyway, yeh, I guess I answered the original question.

[chai714]

And call me crazy, but those girls in beauty contests tend to be on the lower end of what I would call attractive. There fine and all, since everyone is attractive in their own way. But I would hesitate to really think of them as a picture of beauty.

 

You're crazy. There, got that taken care of. (insert laugh here).

 

Naturally, you notice someones appearance first and foremost. You identify whether that person is male or female usually by the length of their hair and the clothes they're wearing - of course this is done on an unconscious level.

 

For me (and I'm sure most others) you notice varying things first, depending on where you see them. If you see them while on the street, you get a different view of them because they're in motion. If you see them in a bar, you probably notice something else first because they're not in motion. If you see someone in a restaurant, all you see is from the chest up, so naturally you would notice their hair, face, shoulders, and breasts. Typically, their shoulders and arms give you an idea of their approximate body size (petite, small, medium, or large). If you're on an elevator, you probably don't notice her butt first unless you're standing behind her and even then you probably won't look down. My point is that you're faced with many different situations when seeing and meeting people and you probably go through a lot of unconscious thought processes and it highly depends on the circumstances in which you see that woman (or man). thereforeeee, you notice different things at different times and no matter what you may claim to be (i.e. breast man or butt man), you will be forced to evaluate other characteristics which depend on the physical state of your "target."

[ShySoul]

You're crazy. There, got that taken care of.

 

Was wondering when someone would complete the joke. Thanks. 8)

 

So basically what all of that said was you give a brief superficial glance in order to determine gender and establish recognizition. You said it was subconsciousness, I just make it conscious. Once thats out of the way, you focus on the real person. At least, thats how it should work.

 

And as my example shows, you do not need to notice physical characteristics first. With online situations so common these days, you get to know the person first.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

FOr me, its almost always the hair....so for all those girls out there longing for someone to take your heart, then remember to take care of your hair..............

[jordan_2]

ok

 

I really think that there are two different types of guys...the one's who have no problem staring a woman down and making her feel like an object unworthy of nothing more than lustful endevours...

 

then you get what I like to call the "real guy"... I think that these guys have more respect for themselves and others, and I also think that they (and I like to include myself in this category aswell ) have a better understanding to life and love...

the natural beauty of just being with someone and u admire and trust so much is nothing that words can describe. It's so easy to say "yeah she has nice boobs and whatnot....but what then....I know you'll prolly feel sexually satisfied, but after that, there's always that little void in your life, and this void is the lack of real connection and unity with your "girlfriend/boyfriend"...

 

I have read a lot of the posts and I think that Shysoul is one of the few who can put everything that I would want in a relationship and write it in one neat little post....he's got the idea of what "Love" is....

If you experience love on a spiritual/emotional level, the euphoria u gain out of the relationship is beyond imagination, beyond anything that "sex" itself can provide...

this is not to say that we don't take notice of these physcial features as it is stated by lots that it is instinctual nature of a primitive manner...however, I think that we as humans have also evolved to become intelligent beings and whatever people think "real guys" are repressing, is not anything close what we are doing (as shysoul mentioned) we're embracing the fact of physcial beauty and just adding it onto the beautiful personality that lies within the person...I'm sure you would feel better getting a compliment on how kind and generous you were rather than, "hey nice boobies" you laugh, but think about it, wen you go home at the end of the day, can u honestly look at yourself and genuinly feel happy about yourself after being told that?

 

I think that of course there is an physical attraction, but when you can embrace it and see it only as a "shell" to the inner spiritual beauty, then you got something (insert the most pleasent adjective you can think of).

 

to all the real guys,

y is it so hard for others to realize this? that's all I wanna know

[thefoot]

This might sound bad but it is true:

 

1. overall height, weight

I have never had a successful relationship with a girl taller then me,

I have a hard time feeling physically attracted to larger girls because to me that says that they have lack of self control

 

2. Hair, Face, eyes

Hair is a big deal to me because it says a lot about a person and their personality

Face because you can often tell what they are like by their facial expressions (smiling etc)

Eyes dont really have anything to do with personality as far as i can tell, but I know I love it when a girl has soft innocent looking eyes

 

3. The way they move

 

If they move like they dont know why they are here, maybe they are too shy for me

 

These are the first things i notice when I see a girl. I notice these things usually all within the first 2 or three glimpses of her.

[rionmccloud]

When a girl I dated twice would walk by and I just HAD to check her out. I hate to admit it, but I did. Give me some slack, I'm only human. She has an amazing body. I don't like sticks, and she was just right in my eyes. From there I talked to her, and really started to like her for her personality. Then one day I was talking to her at work, and I looked in her eyes. I honestly don't remember what was talked about, just her eyes. Very beautiful eyes on her. Unfortunatelt there have been no more dates, and I have my eye on another young lady who, again I feel bad about it, has very attractive... ahem.. assets... yeah, that's it.

 

I am still amazed that two girl who, general consesus says, are quite attractive have any interest in me. Guess my mom was right when she called me handsom. Heh heh.

[Beec]

Why is it so hard to realize that what has been said is to look for and seek what you describe, but not to just look past the physical. I am cerebral, spiritual, etc., but I am also physical, and so is almost everyone I know. I don't deny what you think is importnat, but I don't see why we would deny the physical. All of it is important.

[jordan_2]

As I said in my post,

 

I'm not denying the physical aspect. Of course a good looking companion is great..but what good are looks if there's no personality.

what you have to realize is that you are eventually going to have to find beauty within someone, and all I am saying is that you will feel more fulfilles as a person when you can have an attraction that's not simply based on physical attributes...

so yes I still look for physical of course, but I long for something more than that