What do u notice first?

[lovealways]

OK guys..n girls

 

do u agree that girls dont always look at men sexually.for eg: guys tend to look at the boobs size and stuff.but girls dont generally look at the penis size ..to be attracted to a guy.Its more the face and the chest that draws the attention..rite?

 

 

any opinions??

[lillady898]

OK guys..n girls

 

do u agree that girls dont always look at men sexually.for eg: guys tend to look at the boobs size and stuff.but girls dont generally look at the penis size ..to be attracted to a guy.Its more the face and the chest that draws the attention..rite?

 

 

any opinions??

 

Not really true. Honestly, if guys looked straight at the chest size to see if girls are attractive, I don't think any guys would ever find me attractive. A lot of guys look at the girl as a whole to see whether or not she is attractive.

 

And I know some girls who do look at men sexually, and base his overall appearance on his size.

[ShySoul]

do u agree that girls dont always look at men sexually.for eg: guys tend to look at the boobs size and stuff.but girls dont generally look at the penis size ..to be attracted to a guy.Its more the face and the chest that draws the attention..rite?

 

Mere fact that breasts are in a more prominent position and thus easier to glance at. And the bigger the breasts, the easier they are to notice.

 

But it depends on the person. Some people are just looking at others as pieces of meat and judging them on some superficial basis. Others focus on more important aspects.

[OceanEyes]

I catch guys checking out my rack all the time. It's what most do. Heck, even I can't help but notice above average-sized breasts. Like Shy says, they're in a prominent position and usually demand attention effortlessly.

 

but girls dont generally look at the penis size

 

You mean, just glancing down at his basket? lol Well, I think it would be more than a little embarrassing to get caught doing this. I think it's very difficult to tell either way on this one.

[RayKay]

I catch guys checking out my rack all the time. It's what most do. Heck, even I can't help but notice above average-sized breasts. Like Shy says, they're in a prominent position and usually demand attention effortlessly.

 

but girls dont generally look at the penis size

 

You mean, just glancing down at his basket? lol Well, I think it would be more than a little embarrassing to get caught doing this. I think it's very difficult to tell either way on this one.

 

Same here...people DO look at my breasts, but I don't take offense to it, I mean they are there front and centre so well....and like you I can't help notice above-average breasts on other women too!

 

Not only would it be embarrassing, but I think most women know that a man's package in its sleeping state is not really a sign anyway, so what would be the point even if one did care enough (or was crass enough) to do that!

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

1. Her hair...is it long..(long is best...the longer, the better) and if it is shiny.

2. Her smile and lips

3. Her skin

4. Her eyes

5. Other parts

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Her weight does not matter, as long as she is not grossly obese. Today I was on the bus and there was this woman...no exagerration, she had a waist that was around 4 x my waist, and I weigh 200 pounds. Now that is sick........

 

But up to 150 pounds is okay for a girl.....

[Beec]

Ha! I'm sure a girl with a DD rack would just fade into the background...

 

She would. She has to be at least an E before I would notice her.

 

I did say I would give a brief superficial glance, but thats not cause I'm checking her out or noticing any certain physical features. It's cause you generally see people first and can't help but notice. Once that is out of the way, I don't think about it and focus entirely on the person.

 

Being complimented on looks is nice, I get it. But every guy does it.If you did have that DD set of breasts, don't you think it would get tiring hearing guys look at them or compliment them? So when you hear about your nice eyes, it means more. It also means they are taking the time to look into your eyes, which can be pretty romantic and sweet right there. But if you really want to make a girl swoon, compliment something that can't be seen. Engage their hearts and minds. That's what really captures a girls heart.

 

I agree, real nice guys don't need to draw attention to the fact that they are nice guys. They just go out and do nice things and be a gentleman. When people say it on here its because they are venting. Or in my case its trying to make the frustrated nice guys feel better.

 

Do you really think that the right thing to do is to look at her body and then forget about it? Come on Shysoul.

 

She does not want to be thought of any only her body, but almost any woman I know what to be appreciated in a physical way. No woman wnats to be just a object of a man's sexual desire, but most women want to be the object of their man's raw, sexual lust and desire. A woman wants her man to want her body, AND the rest of her.

 

She wants her guy to want her breasts, whatever size they might be.

[ShySoul]

Do you really think that the right thing to do is to look at her body and then forget about it? Come on Shysoul.

 

She does not want to be thought of any only her body, but almost any woman I know what to be appreciated in a physical way. No woman wnats to be just a object of a man's sexual desire, but most women want to be the object of their man's raw, sexual lust and desire. A woman wants her man to want her body, AND the rest of her.

 

She wants her guy to want her breasts, whatever size they might be.

 

But not if its based off her body. I didn't say to forget her body, I said to put it on the backburner while you focus on what's really important. When you get to someone's heart and soul, when the attraction is there on that deeper level, the physical aspect will follow. Girl I'm seeing, I didn't notice her body I noticed her heart. She didn't notice my body initally, she noticed me. Once we got closer, we started finding that physical attraction. I spend a good amount of time wishing I could be holding her all the time, and shes said she misses me there by her side. Physical element is there, but its a byproduct of our feelings and everything else between us.

 

And she's also said she likes it that I'm not thinking about raw, sexual lust and desires. I'm thinking about love, in a purer and nobler form. That's what she appreciates, that I'm not a typical guy lusting after her and thinking sexually.

[Shinobie]

Jordan, I believe the question asked 'what do you notice first?', and clearly if a chick with breast the size of watermellons walked past, you'd notice them before say, her eyes (which look like pin pricks compared

So you're a genuine guy, that doesn't mean you can't appreciate a womans body or the hard work she puts in to get a good figure. Hell, being complimented by a guy over something physical, rocks! Boosts our self esteem and what not.

 

And for the whole 'I'm a nice guy' thing I keep reading about, yes women like nice guys but not ones who /call/ themselves nice. At very least in high school being called 'nice' by a girl is like the social kiss of death, let alone calling /yourself/ it. You may as well cut off your testies and hand deliver them to the girl.

 

 

Umm actually some of us guys could care less about the size of a women's breasts.I could say that i think a women's eyes are more appealing then that.A women with beautiful eyes is more of a plus then their breasts too me but also how beautiful they are on the inside like some of us guys who like this stuff.O and btw most women didnt work hard to get their figure.Most just grew right up into it.With no work involved.Some did.But things like a good looking face were not achieved by them it was all luck of how they were created when they were born and when they grew up.

[skyteph]

Umm actually some of us guys could care less about the size of a women's breasts.I could say that i think a women's eyes are more appealing then that.A women with beautiful eyes is more of a plus then their breasts too me but also how beautiful they are on the inside like some of us guys who like this stuff.O and btw most women didnt work hard to get their figure.Most just grew right up into it.With no work involved.Some did.But things like a good looking face were not achieved by them it was all luck of how they were created when they were born and when they grew up.

 

I do believe you did not understand what I said. As I stated, the question asked was 'what do you notice first?'. Whether or not you decide to judge a person by their physical aspects has nothing to do with the simple fact that you'd notice them (in most cases) first.

Another thing is Shinobe, a majority of women may be born with a good figure, but it's damn hard to keep it. A HIGH percentage of woman can't just eat what they want and never work out, but somehow manage to keep a good figure. You need to work to maintain it.

 

I would appreciate in future that you do not challenge my response if you have misinterpreted what I have said.

[RayKay]

.O and btw most women didnt work hard to get their figure.Most just grew right up into it.With no work involved.Some did.But things like a good looking face were not achieved by them it was all luck of how they were created when they were born and when they grew up.

 

And you know this...how exactly? I'd say most women (myself included) do work to keep ourselves in shape and healthy. I have a very good figure, and yes some parts were genetic luck like good curves, but the rest (like being toned, and having good posture, and confidence in my body) is because I am athletic and work out regularly..logging lots and lots of miles on my bicycle every week, and hitting the gym for weight training and doing yoga. Yes, if we did nothing we might be "okay" but I would give it more credit than luck. Most women I know are VERY aware of their body, are not totally secure in their appearance no matter how much "luck" they had and do work out, and watch what they eat. I know VERY few women whom will feel totally okay about eating whatever they want, never counting calories, and never working out.

 

Whether she works out or not, most women I know do appreciate and feel flattered when someone finds them attractive. For those who work out, and eat well, its a compliment to that work they have done. For those who "lucked out" it still is a compliment to a women whom no matter how good her body looks, may sometimes feel insecure about it. Thin or not, fit or not, we almost all have 'fat days' and more insecure days.

 

Maybe "most" as you referred to it can get away with it when young, but there is very few women I know whom after school can get by just on good genes. As you age, your metabolism slows down, and a women's hormones predicate her to store fat in certain places...if she does nothing, that fat gets stored.

 

Genes may provide an overall "distribution" and determine height, and basic breast size (though that changes with weight too), and the colour of your eyes...but you still have to make the best of the genes you were given. You cannot rely on good genes forever to give you tone, fitness, a lifted bum, nice shoulders and a firm tummy.

[Shinobie]

Im sorry that i misinterpreted what you were trying to say skyteph.Sorry what i was talking about was younger age women.I mean at a younger age we have the luck of genes.Some girls seem to grow up with an amazing body and like a high metabolism and a beautiful face.While other women do not luck out.Im talking about these girls that had the luck of the draw in life.Iono just know at younger ages there were plenty of girls that had that good figure without doing anything.Sorry guess i should have clarified the ages.Now off to try to get some sleep gosh damn insomnia.And sorry if the my ideas come out with plenty of ignorance behind em im just bitter so i just roll my ideas out.One of the reasons i cant sleep im constntly thinking and analyzing life sorry.

[Beec]

First of all, if you think the first thing you noticed was her heart, well, you are just kidding yourself. Before you knew anything about her heart, you knew she was a woman right? So, you had to have seen her body, her face, etc. Or did you somehow feel her presense before you ever laid eyes on her? You might not have found yourself attracted to her until you knew somethign about her or "her heart" as you call it, but that was certainly not the first thing you noticed.

 

Second, I know of now woman who wants a man without raw, sexual lust. I love my woman, but I also knows that she really wants me to demonstrate that I do lust for her, at least now and then. So, she is either lying to you or kdding herself too.

 

I'm not going to tell you that the "higher" emotions should be ignored. But love does not give rise to lust. And those lower emotions should not be forgotten either.

 

We basically have a few different levels on which our brains function: a conscious level, that is what we consider human; an emotional level, which has us acting on things because of how we feel, not because it is right, wrong, etc. (this is the one that drives us to do things even though we know we should not or should do something else); and a primitive reptilian level. You are ignoring the last and a large part of the second. If you want the whole woman,you realize that she has all three of these parts. But you want to think there is some ideal, an ideal that is higher, more intellectual and purer, etc. Enjoy the ideal. But you miss much of yourself and the woman. I'll be in reality enjoying all of both of us.

[ShySoul]

First of all, if you think the first thing you noticed was her heart, well, you are just kidding yourself. Before you knew anything about her heart, you knew she was a woman right? So, you had to have seen her body, her face, etc. Or did you somehow feel her presense before you ever laid eyes on her?

 

lol That's the wonderful thing about the internet, you can get to know someone before ever seeing them. I went into a chat room, she messaged me. We kept talking nightly, sent pictures of each other like 3 weeks after we met. Didn't talk on the phone until a couple of weeks after meeting each other and met in person after a month. So I can honestly say that her appearance was pretty much the last thing I noticed. Her personality and similar interests and beliefs was noticed first and is why I kept talking to her. I know, I took a risk that she might not have been who she said she was, but I knew I could handle it and I didn't really fall for her until after we had met and gotten to be good friends.

 

And it was her heart that that really attracted me to her. I remember early phone conversations with her mentioning volunteer stuff she had done or how she would go out of her way to help somebody. I also remember how I would be thinking to myself, "wow, shes amazing."

 

but I also knows that she really wants me to demonstrate that I do lust for her, at least now and then. So, she is either lying to you or kdding herself too.

 

We've talked about it. She would honestly prefer hugs and cuddling to sex and lust. I do to. Should things progress that far, we know we will want it and it will be great. But we don't want lust, we want love. We're not like most people. I don't want to know she's lusting after me, I want to know she cares about and loves me. And I'm positive she's the same way.

 

But love does not give rise to lust. And those lower emotions should not be forgotten either.

 

I say we should seek to transcend our basest elements, seek to become something greater then we currently are. Sex is not about base urges, we are greater then animals. And real love helps us get there. To quote a song, "They say in heaven, love comes first. We'll make heaven a place on earth."

 

We basically have a few different levels on which our brains function: a conscious level, that is what we consider human; an emotional level, which has us acting on things because of how we feel, not because it is right, wrong, etc. (this is the one that drives us to do things even though we know we should not or should do something else); and a primitive reptilian level. You are ignoring the last and a large part of the second. If you want the whole woman,you realize that she has all three of these parts. But you want to think there is some ideal, an ideal that is higher, more intellectual and purer, etc. Enjoy the ideal. But you miss much of yourself and the woman. I'll be in reality enjoying all of both of us.

 

There is a thing called evolution. We have moved in so many ways beyond the primitive reptilian level. Why not continue to move forward? You can enjoy the base elements of your girl, I'll be moving with mines to a level thats higher then conscious. I'll be experiencing the divine, which I'll take over the primitive anyday. And to quote another song, "my love for you will remain strong and true, long after the pleasures of the flesh." Physical pleasures, sexual lust, thats momentary. It's fleeting. What I'm going for is immortal.

[MetallicAguy]

Oh yeah, since Shinobie and skyteph were talking about how women need to maintain weight and stuff, just in case any girl out there's wondering, you need (minimum) 30 minutes of exercise every day to see any weight loss (eventually). 2 or 3 times a week is to maintain it, I'm sure because, I exercise 2-3 times a week and I maintain my weight fine, but I also have a high metabolism, I drink lots of water, and fortunately don't have any problems with obesity in my genes, I really think genetics has a lot to do with if your overweight or not, don't make up the excuse that its your genes because you sit around all day and eat too much carbs and your not active enough. Just get 30 minutes of exercise every day, its not going to kill you.

 

 

And to Shysoul and beec, I believe that you can't have one without the other, or the relationship feels like it is lacking. Even if I was really into the girls personality, for example if she was 4'10 380lbs, I'd keep her as a platonic friend. I'm not trying to offend anyone, but I'm just being honest.

[ShySoul]

MetallicAguy, what's your weight? Cause I have this crazy visual in my head of you with a 380 pound women.

 

As for maintaining appearance, I'll admit that it's good to stay in shape and be healthy. But if someone thinks you are beautiful, they are going to think that regardless of how much you maintain your shape. You can a few pounds? Just a few more pounds of you to love.

[MetallicAguy]

5'7 111.5 lol. I'm not even in a relationship right now...actually I had the thought of you with a woman that large (nice insult).

 

My Body Mass Index is 17.5 , so I'm underweight, which isn't that big of a deal its only by 1 point so it doesn't matter. 18.5 - 24.9 is normal, 25 - 29.9 is overweight, obese is 30 or greater. If someone has a a BMI of 28.5+

Just a few more pounds of you to love.

I consider gross .

[ShySoul]

That was an insult? Ok, I have no problem being teased, insulted, etc.... all I ask is that when you do it, try to come up with something original and clever.

 

Odd, I'm 5'7 also, and 130 lbs. Pretty similar there. My problem with someone who weighs alot more wouldn't be the weight, it would be there health condition. As long as they are healthy, I don't care what they look like. If I find them attractive, they are attractive. A few extra pounds doesn't mean a thing.

[easyguy]

Odd, I'm 5'7 also, and 130 lbs. Pretty similar there.

 

Remember that he's 15, you're 22.

[MetallicAguy]

Ok, I have no problem being teased, insulted, etc.... all I ask is that when you do it, try to come up with something original and clever

It's ok I still know you have a problem with that .

 

Remember that he's 15, you're 22.

[ShySoul]

It's ok I still know you have a problem with that

 

Yes, I have a problem with people who aren't creative. Anyone can make fun of someone's size or weight, or something ordinary like that. I want an insult that makes people some and think, saying to themselves, "now that was clever, never heard that one before."

 

Remember that he's 15, you're 22.

 

I'm short, so? And I may be on the skinny side, but I think its a family thing. In a few years I'll start putting on the pounds like the rest of my family, it just takes a while to get going.

 

Besides, I'm drinking my milk. And you know that milk does a body good.

[Beec]

There is a thing called evolution. We have moved in so many ways beyond the primitive reptilian level. Why not continue to move forward? You can enjoy the base elements of your girl, I'll be moving with mines to a level thats higher then conscious. I'll be experiencing the divine, which I'll take over the primitive anyday. And to quote another song, "my love for you will remain strong and true, long after the pleasures of the flesh." Physical pleasures, sexual lust, thats momentary. It's fleeting. What I'm going for is immortal.

 

Because I experience the primitive, does not mean I cannot experience the divine. Why do you think the two need to be mutually exclsuive? Why do you think that simply acknowledging that we have baser elements makes us primitive?

 

I'd rather know they are there, acknowledge them, work with them, control them and incorporate them into the whole, than repress them totally and think that is enough. It's not, at least, it is not enough for me.

 

I want all that you, Shysoul, say you want AND more. I want all of me, my more advanced and more primitive aspects appreciated by my woman, and I want to see and appreciate hers. And what could be wrong with that?

 

You can deny the reptilian part of your and her brain. I don't want to deny any of me or my woman.

[RayKay]

I have to agree with Beec here..why must the two be mutually exclusive?

 

Just because I lust after my partner, does not mean that we don't have more than that on a higher spiritual & emotional & mental plane.

 

For example, the other night I modelled my new items from Victoria's Secret for him...I loved the fact that he was very attracted to me and could not keep my hands off of me, it made me feel good, proud, sexy, and yes...very wild about my partner.

 

Then yesterday together we were talking of our future, holding one another, he told me I was beautiful not because of what I was wearing, but because he knows I am in and out. We often have great discussions about us, about the world, about our individual selves, about our future, about our needs and desires.

 

Then later on, we were packing some stuff for a vacation, and started play fighting and having fun together like kids.

 

This morning when we woke up he rolled over, held me tight and said he loved me and I was amazing. A couple minutes later he also told me I was very sexy...that certainly did not take away from the earlier, in fact they enhanced one another.

 

See, it can encompass all sorts of connections and levels, one does not rule out another.

 

Having my partner desire me "primitively" and me desiring him "primitively" does not mean we do not have a further bond then that, that we do not respect, love, cherish one another, our relationship, our future. Does not mean we do not know in our hearts without doubt we are the one for each other. It does not mean that what we have is "mortal" and fleeting or less valid.

[BellaDonna]

My husband and I once got into a discussion about what we first noticed about each other.

 

He very honestly said "breasts"...though not exactly using that proper word .

 

Obviously we are married now so there is certainly more than just primitive, animalistic, lustful desires operating in our relationship. He noticed physical attributes first, but that doesn't mean it prevented genuine love and caring from developing.

 

When he said that- I just laughed. I appreciate his honestly. I think it's hilarious.

 

I think something would be missing if the primitive lust was not a part of the equation. As RayKay said, I don't think it means the relationship is less valid. I think it creates more of a chemistry and a connection, and also adds FUN.

 

 

 

BellaDonna