Love of my life....gone?

[Oddjob]

Ok i will try my best to explain my situation completely. Hope people will read this.

 

I am now 25 and she is now 23, we started going out 3 1/2 years ago. Last June we moved in together into a 4 bedroom house with her two male cousins. Me and her had 2 years of total bliss together, i feel like she is the one for me and would eventually get married someday. We are both each others firsts in everything pretty much. Things went great until about december when i started forming a video game addiction. I would play until 4 or 5 am about 3 or 4 nights a week and never come to bed with her. Obviously this started driving her away more and more.

 

Before the addiction started we talked about getting a house just for ourselves once our 1 yr lease ended this june. She wound up finding a place and was going to move out and hold the house until the current house we lived in lease expired and i would move back in. I kinda took this all the wrong way, i took it as she is sick of me and is moving out. Basically in a nutshell, we wound up breaking up, she moved out into her new apartment.

 

Once she left i had a buddy move into a guest bedroom that is kind attatched to the upstairs that me and her shared. Along with my new roommate came along his girlfriends sister and we clicked. Next thing i know, 1 week after my breakup with a g/f of 3 yrs i now have a new g/f. I guess just because i needed something in my life i went with this for about a month or two, i then started having strong feelings towards my ex-g/f, the one stated above. I then started calling my ex, we would meet here and there talk, smoke pot blah blah blah. One night i went over there we had sex, she said she wants to get back together, like a dumbass i say yes. Now i have two girlfriends.

 

I tell the newer g/f that im having feelings for my ex and i need to stop, so we did.....broke up. I was now back with the love of my life and very happy with it. We did this for about a week until i decided to call her 4 hours after i was supposed to one day and we had another dumb fight. She bugs out and we stop talking again for about 2 weeks.

 

I try to talk to her, call her and she doesnt want to see me or talk to me. We bumped into each other at a club while i was dancning and she bugged out about seeing me dancing with another girl. Does she want me in her life or not? She tells me she doesnt want to be with me, but when she sees something like that she goes nutz. I cry to this girl about it, she is everything to me and i want to be with her forever. I just cant seem to find the right way to show my love for her. Im so confused.

[OPP]

All I have to say is woman like to get attention and if you are going to be late then call. I know how you feel. I think I found the one but I don't know how he feels. I like you don't want to lost this one. All I can say is go and buy her flowers and take her out for a nice dinner at a nice restaurant. All girls like to be pampered every once in a while. See what happens after that.

[Oddjob]

Yeah that is one thing i think i didnt do enough of, buying small things 4 her unexpectedly.

 

I know for a fact that she wants to be with me still, i speak with her firends here and there. Shes a very stubborn person. We agreed that we would talk on monday but i want to call now...should i?

[Oddjob]

Im hurting over here, someone plz give me some advice.

[OPP]

I still feel that you should wait and call here on Monday think you said that you would. I know how hard it is to wait but she will see that you have control. So please wait. Maybe she has things she has to do and she wants you to have her full attention and you will have that on Monday. I know if my attention is on something other then the person I am talking to then I forget things that the person said to me. That is my advice for you...

[QTpie87]

i know this is very long but if you want help please read it all. .

 

Hey, I am very sad for you. it makes me want to cry. i think that if you really love her and she still loves you that you should try and work it out. Now im not saying that dudes don't have the right to love video games and all but think about it if she was out doing her hair and nails w/her friends 4-5 days a week and stayed out way late and didn't come to bed with you wouldn't that hurt your feelings a little like she didn't care to see you? . i think you sound like a wonderful person and are prob. a very good boyfriend however you have to remember that a girl needs to be talked to, listened to, held, and all that other girly stuff. a relationship is not just knowing who eachother are and dating. it's listening and showing how much you care about this person. I am in a very good relationship right now and i think he is the one. but we get along so well because we can sit there and talk to eachother without having fights. but really if you want to know how to keep her happy. this is what my BF dose he gets home from work and almost always comes to see me he talks to me about what went on that day and i listen because it is important to him even if it isn't something i would be all into and all and he listens to me no matter what it is also because he knows it means something to me. . we like to sit around and just talk and cuddle. even if she is not a very cuddly person sometimes people need to just be held and talked to. make an effert to try that and find out what goes on in her everyday life. for you also. know on monday when you call her this is what i think might work. tell her you want to see her in person and you could buy her some flowers. it dosen't have to be anything fancy of cost alot it can be something nice and simple. for example i would go with the white daisy with the yellow middle. they are cute yet give the point. then take her to the park with a blanket and some sandW's and drinks(soda dude) 8) then you wanna know something sure buy stuff works for some girls but it really dosen't mean as much as just being with eachother and having a good time at home, at the park, at the lake, just anything love dose not require money if it did me and my BF would not be in love so think about that yeah once in a while you could get her something cute but if you do it too much it wont mean as much. when you are at the park( i recall you saying she was stubborn, thats gonna be okay i am also) she might act like she is angery with you and this means nothing to her but look ask her to look at you so you can talk to her. tell her how much you miss her and still love her and when you do that look at her with those eyes that guys have that are like so cute puppy eyes and tell her how you feel about her and how much you love her it sounds like it wont be very hard to do and it might not be but if it is thats ok but if you really do love her and it sounded like you do then tell her open up your heart to her and let everything out. i bet she will still love you and you just need to start over and try. good luck. really! love QTpie87 .

p.s. if this doesn't work then just know you tried and if she dosen't want you back maybe she will in a while or maybe there is someone else out there for you. post me back and let me know how it went. Im here to talk anytime. love ya.

[Oddjob]

I really appreciate youre comments QT. It makes me feel a little bit better about things, and no i didnt call her today. I have a feeling that she is possibly testing me, if i can last until monday to give her the few days space she needs. I just hope that shes not seeing anybody else right now, thats the main thing im worried about and shes just afraid i might go ballistic if she tells me. I am a very good looking 25 year old guy and believe it or not i have been with one person......her. I know i would have no problem getting women if i made myself available on the dating scene. But i only want her.

 

She wanted to see me on monday maybe because its the next day i have off from work, she has off too i believe. Maybe she wants to spend a day with me together and just wont say it because of this stubborness. So im going to do the flowers and picnic thing provided its a nice day on monday.

 

About the "opening up" thing, i have done it in the past and recently, she knows how i feel about her without a doubt. I have hurt her in the past so i think she maybe hurting me in retaliation before she would ever get back with me again. This is the only time i have been hurt by a girl in my life and she knows this, so it might be eploited by her. Or maybe im just thinking too much.

 

If anybody else has anything to add please do so.

[Oddjob]

Not sure why it posted that 3 times but whatever. Im still waiting for anymore ideas that i can use here. I hope i dont breakdown tonight and call her.

[marcusnavy]

dude im goin through the same thing, this girl is so stubborn yet she knows what she wants and doesnt go after it and after a little while we start to get tired of it but you know deep down youll never be able to let a person that means that much to you just walk away. so keep your head on straight and if she hits her head a few times shell start to realize what she needs to do

[Oddjob]

Yeah i think its pretty much being stubborn thats making it hurt. I dont know i just have a feeling she might go and hook up with someone and i must stop that before it happens.

 

Im so about to call her right now but i know its not the right thing to do. Im just afraid that on monday when i show up at her door with my white rose and picnic stuff shes not going to want that.

 

Well im really struggling with this i hope i make it till monday....lol.

[Oddjob]

Well i broke down this morning and showed up at her door. I woke her up and she was pissed at me. I pretty much cried my eyes out to her and she doesnt really seem to care. She let me cry for a good 5 minutes before she told me to go. She told me to come back monday and we'll maybe talk.....

 

I just hope i didnt hurt her in the past too bad that she'll never be back with me. All i want is her and i dont know if she feels the same. This is something thats going to destroy me emotionally, all she needs is to say "ok, this is it......last chance." I would give anything to be with this girl.

[Oddjob]

Well i finished the collage i made today, i put about 5 hours of work into it....hope it doesnt get thrown back in my face. In the collage i put things that mean alot to both to us.....things that were special to us in our 3 years together. The collage has a sort of "past/present" theme to it.

 

tomorrow is sunday, i cant wait for monday.....hopefully things will go good with us. Before i give her this collage i will present her with a white rose, then pick the petals off and give her my heart on the inside. If anyone else has any tips for me on my big day on monday give me a holla please.

[FenderRocker17]

hey oddjobi got yer PM...as ive read..she seems to get angry for mistkaes u couldnt help. i mean..maybe u could have called her sooner..yeah maybe that would have helped..hmm...personally i dont think shes the right type fer you, but what do i kno? lol. well, heres what i got to say.. try to contact her and find out what u did wrong, ask her what u did that made her feel so angry. then try your best to make it up to her. eventually she wont be mad anymore. hmm i dont really know tough. hope this helps anyway, good luck i hope the best for the both of you.

 

-Fender

[Oddjob]

ok well i do know what i have done wrong, thats the thing..........i dont know how to make it up to her. I know shes into me and wants a relationship with me, i just dont know how to make her feel like im going to go into this seriously. i left work early today because im so sick over this.

 

well i dropped the collage at her door this morning, shes at the beach so she hasnt seen it yet. im very nervous.

[FenderRocker17]

yeah she should like it, if she doesnt then she has some major issues to work out, yer givin and givin and shes not even thankin. hope it works out bro, i really do. just keep faith man, its the only thing that will work agansts true love.

 

-Ibanez/Gibson/Fender/any other guitar brands i havent named Rocker17

[Oddjob]

i really help it works out too!

 

everybody i talk to on here and in my personal life seems to think it could work with us. The names cristen and joe used to be synonamous and i want that back. Typing all this stuff on here is a release for me and im glad theres other people here helping me get through this.

 

when i met this girl 3 years ago i was 22 years old, i hadnt cried before that since i was about 7....not once. In the last 3 years i have cried to her at least a dozen times about different things. She is it and i cant let this slip. Wish me luck for tomorrow but ill probably be posting here again later to vent somemore.

[FenderRocker17]

yeah glad to help ya man, i wont forget to include u in my prayers tonight, just keep faith man, keep thinkin that this is gonna work out, never think to yourself that its never gonna work out for u two, if u keep that faith then it will grow and maybe even get results that will make u happy. I'll be hopin for ya bro

 

-Fender

[Oddjob]

Ok im getting there, its 730pm........im almost to monday. I want to have her feel tomorrow like im the one for her....the one she may marry one day.

 

Im going to have to say some smooth things to her for this to happen, i need some ideas. Ladies your help here is appreciated. Ill be browsing this forum most of the night to check for replies.

[Oddjob]

Ok i know i have a few followers reading this so ill let you know whats happened in the last hour.

 

As i said before i had dropped my collage that i made at her door this morning. I drove past her house about an hour ago to she if she was home yet and she was there so i knew she got the collage.

 

I called her up when i got home, she answered in her cute sleepy voice. This time we spoke i heard the tone of voice that i love and she spoke to me quite differently tonight. She said the collage was awesome, very cute and that she loved it alot. She was at her sisters graduation party all day and was falling asleep so i cut the convo short.

 

This is the best i have felt in a long time after this convo we just had. She told me to call her at 11am tomorrow morning and we'll hang out. We both have the day off so we'll have all day to be in each others presense. We spoke to each other very softly and peacefully for a change and i loved it. I dont want to get my hopes up but i think she may be able to take me back once more......i now have an excellent feeling about this.

 

I will post again tomorrow or on tuesday to let you guys know how the day went.

[Oddjob]

Ok im not sure if anyone has been reading this and was wondering how my big monday went. So im going to let you all know.......

 

Yesterday morning i went to her house at 11am.

 

She let me in and she was kinda groggy from a long sleep but we started talking about the collage i made. She liked it alot.

 

We both decided that we were hungry so we wound up going to the chinese buffet that we always went to when we were together. Of course the lady remembered us and sat us in our regular seats (in back against wall We then went to get her oil changed on her car and went shopping while it was being done. While we were waiting for the oil do get finished we started holding hands.

 

After our afternoon hangout we went back to her house and smoked a blunt and watched some TV. After a few hours of doing that and holding hands and me poking around on her we decided to now go out for dinner, we went to friendlys. We ate then went back to her house once again.

 

At about 8pm we are laying on the couch together watching TV we start getting close, about to fall asleep on each other. My nose is kinda up against her neck and i notice her getting excited. We eventually start making out. Things could have gone further but its her time of the month and im not really into that. But we do some stuff and i wind up sleeping over there last night, i just got home this morning. That hangout lasted longer that i could have expected.

 

Well ill be back over there in a few hours to install her car stereo that she got last week. Its safe to say we are going to try this ONCE more. These are the things that movies are made of and i wish anyone who has relationship problems to keep the faith. Four days ago i really thought this was over forever, but now it really might work. I showed my true emotions about her and she saw them clear as day. Granted i have alot of work to do to keep this alive but im up for the challenge....and so is she.

 

I would like to thank everybody on these boards for keeping me sane somewhat while i was going through this, i appreciate it very much. Ill come on here from time to time and let everybody know how things are going.

 

Thank You!