He said he needed space-he wanted to take a break

[heartbroken84]

I'll post the long story later, but I am making this short in order to express how I feel right now.

 

Basically 2 year relationship ended last month. My boyfriend/fiancee dumped me. He is 20 and I am 21, both college students and we had been living together for this past academic year. We were in the comfort zone and I took some things for granted and began to feel very emotional when he said he wanted space or a break for the summer.

 

I wanted to have a talk about the break or the status of our relationship. But he said after finals..Finals were over in June and on June 16 we went to watch a movie, had sex...thought everything was cool. Two days later I leave to visit my family, they live 350 miles away. I told him I would call etc etc when I got home...and he did not answer. He didn't want to talk to me.

 

When I got back a week later, we argued on the phone. I got made cause he left the apartment like a mess, and didn't help me move out at all. Our lease was over so thats why. He told me to stop calling him and pretend like he was in a foreign country for 3 months...so I did.

 

A week later he gets back from some camping trip, asks me about mail. I act as calm as possible. Basically I got annoyed that he could call me but I couldn't call him. I wanted to see him, and we argued cause he refused. Basically a few conversation later on July 10 ....He tells me he got drunk and slept with someone...and that it was over, and etc etc. This event happened two weeks prior. I told him he cheated! But he simply said it was over a long time ago. Well thanks for letting me know! I was in denial, couldn't believe it, I begged and pleaded for a second chance (yeah I know it should be him). He called me desperate, made me feel like a loser, told me to get a life etc etc.

 

August 4, I asked him to separate phone plans, he was so annoyed by that and he blocked me from AIM after calling me a f--king b--tch. Since then I saw him a week later in my apt complex, maybe he was visiting a friend, but we just gave eachother a cold stare. I have began No Contact (since business is done) since then..it's been almost 3 weeks no contact. Everyday is a battle cause I miss the person I fell in love with, the happy loving boyfriend of mine. And now I'm dealing with a bunch of broken dreams..

 

Anyways, I cannot believe I was so naive to believe his "break" talk. It was true I needed time off to think about things and so did he. But Yeah right. I know better now, should have dumped him then. Gah, often times I wonder if he will come crawling back? But often times I wonder...why would he tell me slept with someone..if he wanted a chance back? And would I take something back like that? Gah I feel led on, and used. I'm so much better than this!

[sidehop]

When anyone says they need a break, they already left the relationship and in your cases it does sound like the classic 'I met another person so I need a break'. I'm very sorry to hear but yes you do deserve better then this.

 

Sometimes there's no answer but only to learn from it and you giving him no contact will be good for your heart as well even though you are aching everyday. Time will eventually heal you and you'll one day find the right person to marry. Hang in there

[astralholic]

Hey Lady, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Two years is a long time in my book, especially since you both lived together. We've all been in similar situations as yours. Just know that we moved on and so will you. In some weird way you should be happy that he broke it off. Yeah, he was immature about it, maybe he'll learn from that. For you though, it means that you can find someone who really cares about you and wants to be with you.

 

Didn't it make you feel terrible even in the relationship when feelings weren't being reciprocated? Well, now you won't have to deal with that. Be as mature as you can about everything. Try to think as level headed as possible. You might want him back for some strange reason. That reason is that we always want what we can't have. Take care of what you need to and cut contact asap. If you go with no contact, you'll slowly day by day regain yourself. You are better than this, so show yourself, not him that nothing will change that.

 

The only bad relationship is one where you don't learn anything from. Oh by the way, no matter what anyone thinks in this world, everyone can be replaced. It's just the way it goes. Sad, but true.

 

In the meantime, go out and have as much fun as you can. Feeling sorry for yourself only leads to feeling sorry for yourself.

[BillyJean714]

Girl,

 

You have to have more self-esteem than that! First of all, sorry to hear about what this fool did to you! Here are some things that caught my attention in your post:

 

#1. He called you a F____g B_____.

2. He mentioned having "space"

3. He refused to discuss the problems of your relationship.

4. He cheated on you.

5. He didn't answer his phone like he said he would.

6. He got what he wanted--> both sex and dumping you.

 

I hate to say this, but sounds like he played you. See, in a healthy relaitonship, when the guy adores his girl, shouting would never occur. A guy who truly loves you, will always seek to find ways to resolve conflict without having the relationship escalate into fights. Same with the girl. I'm sure that you tried not fighting, but to me, all I see in your post is his antagonistic behavior. Not good.

 

If he truly adores you, he would not just leave you out in the cold like that. Most of all, your self-esteem wouldn't sink to that level where you would go begging him to come back to you after he slept with someone else. When it gets to that point, you know that you're being his doormat. Now, as an outsider, all I can tell you is, "Look forward, not backwards." Think of him as a piece of crap. Then laugh it off.

 

There are plenty of guys out there who are willing to treat you better. Why not give them a chance? While you're still young, you should not waste a day, moping and crying over some LOSER who cannot even treat you right. Girl, exploit your youth to its fullest. Focus on you. Focus on staying young, happy, and beautiful. Don't give your life up for this guy! Make a complete 180. Give yourself a new do', clean your closet, get your life together, and move on. Move forward. Find ways to get back to the HAPPY person you used to be, prior to meeting your ex. There is no need to sit around and analyze the relationship anymore. It's over. Now is your time. Not his. So make an effort to dedicate your time to building up the old you into a new and stronger you. Capische? Take care.. You know you'll pull through!

[djedix]

slash his tires, and smash his windshield.

 

Oh wait, that's not good advice

(but he deserves it)