Why she did this to me?

[Mr. Sub]

Have some doubts on my mind, just wanted to let it out.

 

Has been six months after my ex gf ended the relationship. We spent two years, on and off. When we first started, she just came out of a 7-yrs relationship, where they have been in two cities for 4-yrs and the last year has been tough for her as her ex became more detached from her. Finally they broke up as her ex was dating another girl.

 

Less than a month after we started she was confused and not sure if I am the one she really wants. With about a month off, we slowly back together again. Things were smooth for another two months before she called me saying she misses her ex while I was on a business trip. I was calm and patient at the time and suggested to talk it over. She knew her problems and I gave her some time. Another month went by and one day she said she is finally ready and ready let go of her ex. We spent another 4 months before things cool down. She didn't feel the love from me like before. I have to confest I have spent less time with her. That's when she went out for dinner with her ex without telling me days after. I didn't question her, but since then their contact have increased.

 

Things have stayed this way for about couple months until she took a break and leave the country. We had contact for the time being. I didn't want her to go away (cuz that is her decision), at the same time I didn't beg her to stay. We were still feeling for each other for the first 3 months till her attitude changed. So fast forward, she came back after 6 months. She said her love was not there for me anymore. I thought to give her room and time, but she said I was letting go. Not long after she was back with her longtime ex. I wouldn't have found out if I didn't ask. She said he visited her during the break and I didn't.

 

So after the initial pain when she first broke up with me. She has been contacting me for the past month. I didn't want to but she was persistent. Until one day she confest her feeling for me, her getting back together with him was not working out and her heart is not with him. But she couldn't let go, trying different ways to make it work, buying more time see if good things happen. This really hurts me the most.

 

Kind of a long story. But do you think she was just in a rebound relationship afterall? Maybe my lack of aggression led to my failure, but also unveiled her true intention. She still miss him, wanting to give up so much for him. I know she was hurt from her previous relationship with him, I don't want to see her being hurt again.

[heloladies21]

Dude...You don't want to see her get hurt again???!?!...What the ****

 

What about you and the way you feel? Isn't that suppose to be the most important thing to you? Especially considering that this chick doesn't give a **** about your feelings or else why would she act like that?

 

Life is too short friend to be worrying about some chick who wouldn't hesitate to drop you in a second and get with someone else when it pleases her and think she has you to run to just in case things don't work out.

 

Sticking up for yourself isn't being mean or being a jerk like some people think. It's just not putting up with anyone else's BS when they throw it your way. This relationship was over a long time ago and her feelings are not strong enough for you to get up, dump that guy for good, and get with you. Cut all contact and don't look back. Start talking to lots of other girls too.

[djedix]

Don't ever... ever... ever. ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever...... ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever...... ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever...... ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever...... EVER... blame yourself what SHE did to YOU. She ruined the relationship, she wasnt even ready to date honestly, because she was not over the ex.

[Mr. Sub]

Thanks guys. I guess I was blaming myself for not stepping out and take her back into my arms. Will the result be different if I visited her? Or will it be the same?

[animatrix]

Sub,

 

I'll let you in on something that many women and probably many men do. Much like keeping a spare tire in the trunk they keep "spare" men as back ups in case things don't work with the current squeeze. It's sounds like she's been using you as her spare tire. Sorry if this sounds harsh.

But she's been playing you big time. I'm sure you would want a woman that loves because you for who you are. Not because things didnt work out with her ex.

Don't waste anymore of your time on this because things will not change.

[Mr. Sub]

I understand. Everyone has to have a backup plan. But it is what love is all about? She was no totally happy with things. Where is my fair chance?