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my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago.


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she said she never wants to think or see me ever again. i guess i kind of annoyed her. oh well, it's really good to see her hanging out with the guy from her work for the whole day... something which i didn't need to see. i saw him pick her up and i went upstairs and cried my eyes out. my mom asked what was wrong and i told her. she did the usual mom stuff, like hugging and saying it will be ok but i don't know if it will be...

 

edit: the real reason she broke up with me is because i didn't treat her like i loved her enough... now i wish i would have. *sigh* now i have to live with regret...

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It sucks to see or hear about them with other people. Trust me I know this first hand. When my break-up first started it was really hard to know what she was doing and no be able to be there for her. The best thing is to do is not have anything to do with her. I know is sucks but it really is the best thing for you. Now I haven't talked to my ex in 3 weeks and instead of freaking out because she was goign to this club..or hanging out with this person..there is only question marks in my head. I don't know what she is doing on any given night now so I dont flip out as much as if I did. Not knowing what they are up to or who they are seeing is hard becasue you want to know..but it IS actually easier then sitting home and thinking about EXACTLY who they are with. You have to try and push her out of your mind. You can IM me if you like....

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I'm not saying that there is no chance of getting back together with her. There will always be that chance there. I am saying, however, that you can't wait around for her to make her decision. I did for over a month and it was the worst month of my life. You need to start healing and moving on for now. I know it hard to move on, but giving her space is actually the best thing you could do to get her back. I'm just advising you not to chase her because I did that for a few weeks and it wound up making things worse. You need to distance yourself from her for a while. It helps to clean up your perspective on things. It sucks, but space and no contact with them is really the best thing for this situation. good luck my man...

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I'm not saying that there is no chance of getting back together with her. There will always be that chance there. I am saying, however, that you can't wait around for her to make her decision. I did for over a month and it was the worst month of my life. You need to start healing and moving on for now. I know it hard to move on, but giving her space is actually the best thing you could do to get her back. I'm just advising you not to chase her because I did that for a few weeks and it wound up making things worse. You need to distance yourself from her for a while. It helps to clean up your perspective on things. It sucks, but space and no contact with them is really the best thing for this situation. good luck my man...
edit: nevermind...
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  • 2 weeks later...

kainashi,

 

the best thing for you to do IS give her space, today is sat and my ex broke up with me thursday night at a bar, im 20 and shes 18, shes a cheerleader for her college and is always busy with that, now when we were at the bar we were both getting drunk and I was getting mad at her for dancing with one of the guys on her cheer squad, turns out hes gay which made me look like a shmuck, she told me that she needed some time alone, so I pulled her over to a table and we talked for a little while, she said that shes 18 starting college has her cheerleading and all that and that she just wanted to be single for a while, now I dont believe theres another guy right now anyways, weve been seeing each other for a little over 8 months, the first girl Ive ever loved and blah blah blah, she was always telling me how much she loved me and loved cooking for me taking care of me etc, now I have to admit I was dumbstruck when she just pulled me aside and told me that, so I said ok Ill give you your space and walked away, havent called her or anything, and I probably wont do so for about another week or so and then Im just going to see how shes doing and how her cheerleading is going and all that, and theres no way Im going to get all sobby with her, girls dont want that, they want a dominant male in there life to take charge and not cry, you cant let them know that you are depressed without them, itll just drive them farther away(if you think about it, what good is a guy going to do in her life if all he does is constantly mop about and act as if he is whooped and couldnt tie his own shoes without her permission or guidance?) you have to show her that you can make it on your own, that shes the one missing out being away from you, not the other way around, show her that you are staying busy and that you HAVE A LIFE outside of her, and she will see what shes missing, maybe her love for you is just slowly fading who knows, you sure dont, cause shes not going to tell you that. if your friends with some of her friends, dont talk about her to them, all its going to do is annoy them and get back to her, I know its hard man, but if you love her youll respect her wishes and give her space, wait for her to call you(dont answer, call her back a few hours later or even a day later, girls think about stuff like that more than you know, it will make her jealous and wonder what your up too, when you call her back play it cool, say you were out with some buddies or something, if the girl loves you shes going to see that your starting to get on with life without her and that you dont need her to have a good time, and if she loves you then its going to drive her wild wondering what youve been doing and maybe shell realize that she made a mistake and maybe she wont, its a risk you take when you put your heart on the line. well last night me and a friend of mine went to a club and I was drinkin a little and smoking a cigar in the passenger side of his truck and we were stopped at a red light, well guess who pulled up aside us on my side, my ex and 2 of her girlfriends, Im sure she saw me but I didnt acknowledge her being there, didnt waive or say hi or stare I just kept drinkin and smokin that cigar till the light turned and we drove off, I wanted to jump out and give her a hug an say hi but I got my heart broke once by her( ever heard the saying fool me once good for you, fool me twice and im the fool) Im not going to jump right back into her arms and let that happen again, Im gonna wait and see what happens, if she comes back to me then Ill have the upper hand, and I sure as heck wont be as affectionate as I was the first time,I loved her alot and I showed it to much I think, but I wont make the same mistake twice with her or anyone else, and the saying is true, nice guys do finish last and I figured it out for myself, hope all this helps and remember get on with life and dont call her...... let me know whats goin on

 

peace

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  • 3 weeks later...

well, i guess her new b/f broke up with her already. that's about it, nothing else is new. i haven't spoken to her in about 2 months. i was driving my cousin home today and saw her though. she gave me the "evil eye". *shrug*

 

edit: talked to her last night after about 2 months of no contact. she was being mean at first but then we talked about school and stuff. didn't mention our relationship at all. i guess it went pretty well.

 

edit 2: seems she blocked me. i'm confused, oh well.

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Seems she has a bit of internal conflict going on.

 

You're better off out of there. Quit holding onto the hope of getting back with her.

 

I know it's easier said than done. Even when you're not talking about relationships with her she will be able to sense you want to be with her.

 

Have you sent her e-mails/texts since then as well?

 

Just cut off all contact and move on. It's the hardest thing to do in practice but you have to do it for your own good.

 

I mean, whenever I hear from my ex I just get hit with derogatory comments or something sarcastic. That isn't the reason I got with her in the first place so why should I chase after anyone that treats me like that.

 

Took me a while to wake up and smell the coffee though! I was pathetic. Next time it happens to me I'm walking without even so much as looking back.

 

It's the only way. The hardest way is usually the best way when it comes to others.

 

But then, being yourself with the right person, and being accepted for that, with all your faults, and them still wanting to stay...........that is love.

 

Infatuation is the fickle thing that can soon be broken. People often get it mixed up in the early stages. I was in love with my ex - I had accepted her faults and was willing to go with that as the good outweighed everything, at the time, for me..... whereas she was just infatuated with me.

 

Harsh but true.

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well, i asked for some stuff back today, like the ring and other things i got her. she said she doesn't want to give them back. she said she could pawn the ring. i don't know if she means that because it would be a horrible thing to do but i don't know...

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