Ram00Dodge

umm No, you cant make someone love you not matter how hard you try, either they do or dont

I dont think she considered me a nice guy, she always called me an asshole but then was quick to appologize when I reprimanded her all her friends called me an ass, so i really dont see how she could have thought that, I was nice to her in my own way like everyone else, but most people that know me wouldnt call me a nice guy. Im just confused on the reason, i always keep myself busy so it doesnt really get on my mind that much until nighttime, which she would always come stay the night with me or me stay with her, we had a great sex life so i know thats not the reason for the split, but i find myself alone in my big empty bed, Im always finding women to replace her spot in the bed, but deep down I dont even want them there, they just fullfill my needs for the moment.......

first of all Id like to say that me and my ex had a great relationship together, we were together for 8 great months and it suddenly ended a month ago. things were going great, we were making future plans, i know she loves me and i love her and she knows that but the thing is, is that in september we broke up because of an abortion, anyways she called me back two days later and we got back together, she is a college cheerleader, always busy but we always made time to see each other, and about a month ago we hardly talked for a week just and i went to her house on labor day and we talked and she said that she just needed to be single, needed her space and she told me that she loved me and she just doesnt know what she wanted, i even got the line "its not you its me". so i asked to give her a goodbye kiss and she agreed, and before i left she said she wanted to stay in touch and be good friends. by that time i was furious but didnt show it just said i loved her also and walked out the door. we have not seen each other or called each other for a month, no contact at all. my question is mostly for girls. what exactly is going on? i am really supprised that i havent heard from her, i have way to much pride to call her up and ask her how shes doing, because if i talk to her im either going to tell her that i love her and ask her whats going on, or get mad and ruin everything, so id like to know from a womens point of view what the deal is and some advice on what to do. thanks

kainashi, the best thing for you to do IS give her space, today is sat and my ex broke up with me thursday night at a bar, im 20 and shes 18, shes a cheerleader for her college and is always busy with that, now when we were at the bar we were both getting drunk and I was getting mad at her for dancing with one of the guys on her cheer squad, turns out hes gay which made me look like a shmuck, she told me that she needed some time alone, so I pulled her over to a table and we talked for a little while, she said that shes 18 starting college has her cheerleading and all that and that she just wanted to be single for a while, now I dont believe theres another guy right now anyways, weve been seeing each other for a little over 8 months, the first girl Ive ever loved and blah blah blah, she was always telling me how much she loved me and loved cooking for me taking care of me etc, now I have to admit I was dumbstruck when she just pulled me aside and told me that, so I said ok Ill give you your space and walked away, havent called her or anything, and I probably wont do so for about another week or so and then Im just going to see how shes doing and how her cheerleading is going and all that, and theres no way Im going to get all sobby with her, girls dont want that, they want a dominant male in there life to take charge and not cry, you cant let them know that you are depressed without them, itll just drive them farther away(if you think about it, what good is a guy going to do in her life if all he does is constantly mop about and act as if he is whooped and couldnt tie his own shoes without her permission or guidance?) you have to show her that you can make it on your own, that shes the one missing out being away from you, not the other way around, show her that you are staying busy and that you HAVE A LIFE outside of her, and she will see what shes missing, maybe her love for you is just slowly fading who knows, you sure dont, cause shes not going to tell you that. if your friends with some of her friends, dont talk about her to them, all its going to do is annoy them and get back to her, I know its hard man, but if you love her youll respect her wishes and give her space, wait for her to call you(dont answer, call her back a few hours later or even a day later, girls think about stuff like that more than you know, it will make her jealous and wonder what your up too, when you call her back play it cool, say you were out with some buddies or something, if the girl loves you shes going to see that your starting to get on with life without her and that you dont need her to have a good time, and if she loves you then its going to drive her wild wondering what youve been doing and maybe shell realize that she made a mistake and maybe she wont, its a risk you take when you put your heart on the line. well last night me and a friend of mine went to a club and I was drinkin a little and smoking a cigar in the passenger side of his truck and we were stopped at a red light, well guess who pulled up aside us on my side, my ex and 2 of her girlfriends, Im sure she saw me but I didnt acknowledge her being there, didnt waive or say hi or stare I just kept drinkin and smokin that cigar till the light turned and we drove off, I wanted to jump out and give her a hug an say hi but I got my heart broke once by her( ever heard the saying fool me once good for you, fool me twice and im the fool) Im not going to jump right back into her arms and let that happen again, Im gonna wait and see what happens, if she comes back to me then Ill have the upper hand, and I sure as heck wont be as affectionate as I was the first time,I loved her alot and I showed it to much I think, but I wont make the same mistake twice with her or anyone else, and the saying is true, nice guys do finish last and I figured it out for myself, hope all this helps and remember get on with life and dont call her...... let me know whats goin on peace