STILL CONFUSED!!

[crushed_rejected]

Hi all i posted here a few months ago when my b/f ended things with me in a pretty mean way. I must say since April i have become stronger and managed to take myself out of the dark dark mist that surrounded me,i got back in with friends, i travelled for a month, threw myself into hobbies and have set myself a lot of goals in which i hope to achieve in the next few months. But the thing is i STILL miss him, think about him, wonder if he is thinking about me, does he want me back, does he realise he made a mistake and his pride is in the way of saying so. There is not a day that goes by that i dont think about him, is that wrong???? We have had NC since that terrible phone call, although at times i have had to literally throw the phone away from me to stop me texting, it got easier but i still want to talk to him hug him hear his voice his laugh!!!! I was going to wait until Oct and text him for his birthday, but i dont know. I know people say not to use NC as a tactic, but i dont really know if i am!!! I do know that i prob would not be able to cope if he told me he was with someone else and that he was happy - this was the guy i was going to marry, we even knew our babies names!!!! I know they say that if you love them set them free, but i am just finding it so so so hard Has anyone else gone thru this, or lads have you broken up with someone and the NC made you realise what you threw away???

[PB]

But the thing is i STILL miss him, think about him, wonder if he is thinking about me, does he want me back, does he realise he made a mistake and his pride is in the way of saying so.

 

I'm sure he thinks of you from time to time...

 

However, I think if he REALLY realized that he had made a mistake and that he REALLY wanted you back, he'd move heaven and earth to make sure you knew how he felt, don't you think?

[BellaDonna]

There is not a day that goes by that i dont think about him, is that wrong????

 

Feelings are not right or wrong...they deserve to be recognized. What you are going through is a normal grieving process.

 

However, what is "wrong" is to let yourself get hurt even further. Do not contact him for his birthday. He is not ready for that and you will likely get disappointed in his response to you. NC is really the best way. If he changes his mind, I'm sure you'll be the first to know. However, don't wait around either. Every day is a gift and every moment can never be replaced. I know it's hard but try not to sit around pining over him. Live for YOU. IF it's "meant to be" then he'll come back. OR maybe he is leaving your life because fate has something bigger in store for you. Maybe you're supposed to have a baby with a different name, maybe Mr. Right is out there somewhere else, and the moments you spend in despair over Mr. Wrong prevent you from reaching that point of happiness in your life.

 

Try to keep your heart open and clear to other possibilites as you heal,

 

BellaDonna

[Hope75]

While I don't know all the details of your history with this guy, if he dumped you in such a mean way, and since then hasn't tried to contact you or said something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, I love you, and I want you back..", than I would not try to contact him either.

 

As the dumpee you are best to stay clear, and since you haven't talked to him my guess is he is moving on, and you would be best to do the same.

 

You are already on the right track, keeping busy, doing things to make yourself happy... just try to keep it up and leave him be.

 

If he wanted you back he would be calling to apologize profusely and profess his mistakes and his love for you. Until and unless that happens... best to move along.

 

Good luck.