Im very confused, but not ready to give up...

[chula05]

Hello everyone! This is gonna be very long...i apologize in advance Well I really care about this wonderful guy. I consider him to be one of the best people I've ever met and no matter what happens I'm glad i got to know him. The problems: 1. he is 10 years older (Im 19, he's 29, but he's single, never been married, no kids, not looking for marriage right now) 2nd problem: hes is my former teacher. It's been 2 years since I was in his class, but I can't forget him. He's honestly a wonderful person. It wasn't "love at first sight". It was his 1st year teaching, but I was like eh since he's so young he might be cool. After 2 months of hearing his stories, sense of humor, kindness, and genuine interest in my life I began to realize I really liked him. There was only 15 people in the class (it wasnt a core class, but a cultural elective) so it was a small laid-back environment. We have a lot in common and if you saw him you'd think he was 21 (not only looks wise, but child at heart, but not immature). I've always been shy and he always picked on me and tried to get me to open up to everyone. We all had a great time and I couldn't have asked for a better teacher. He was always very aware of the fact he was a teacher though. For example women teachers have no problem hugging on the last day of school. He's very attractive and some girls tried to give him a hug, but he said no and only gave out handshakes haha. I've felt this connection to him and for some reason I think he feels the same. Like small glances, his smile, when he looks into my eyes, but then he'd distance himself like he knows its wrong since he was my teacher. The lasy day he looked kinda shy and said I should visit him even though I wont be in his class anymore (he asked everyone that though). Of course I did a few times senior year and he said a lot of people don't, but he was happy I decided to keep in touch. Of course he was still careful, but more laid-back since I didnt have him anymore. This is gonna sound strange, but it's like something keeps making us see each other by accident. For instance I went out to eat with a friend to an Italian resturant and jokingly said I wish "he" would just walk in. I swear not more than 5 minutes later he came in and we just saw each other, laughed and were like omg! He came to my table and just stood there and we chatted for 3 mins. (he asked if i was moving out of state for college, if i was moving, we asked how each other was, he asked if my family was okay, etc.) then he went back to his table with his friends. Even my friend notices. She was like you guys are perfect for each other. We laugh at the same things, finish each others sentences, joke around, and know what the other is thinking. I've never felt this way, I love spending time with him even if it's been cut down to like 5 mins nowadays and I wonder if he's doing okay everyday and hope he's happy. At graduation (i was surprised he came, he said it was boring last year) he said bye backstage and gave me a hug and told me to visit if im not too busy with college. He walked away then turned around and kinda stared at me then started walking towards me again. A friend of mine walked up to talk to me (not knowing she interrupted) so he looked disappointed and just left. That was the last time I saw him. I know this sounds weird, but something is telling me not to give up and just be patient and wait and things will come into place. I truly care about him, but the high school has started again and im contemplating visiting. I really want to, but is it best if I dont? Should I move on because it would be feeding my feelings for him? Or should I visit him as a friend? Now im not saying I know for a fact he feels the same, but I'd like to stay in touch. Lastly theres the factors of him being 10 years older and being my former teacher. I see no problem with the age, we are so much alike, but would others see the teacher thing inappropiate? Would it be terribly wrong now? We've never been romantic, im 19 and in college, and haven't had him in 2 years. Should anything happen I wouldn't want to hurt his reputation (not that we'd tell everyone and anyone but still...) Sorry it was so long but help would be appreciated

[AK823]

i don't mean to be rude but if you write another post but half as long you might get some more replies...

[Aueft]

First of all, I don't mind how long your post is. This is a complicated one. For the most part I don't really like the whole "Teacher going out with student" thing, but I suppose it depends from case to case. But honestly, I don't really see this working out, expecially if you're still going to the college he teaches at. I think you should be friends and not pursue this relationship- at least not -now- given the circumstances.

[chula05]

omg no no haha he teaches at my old high school. i go to college now sorry i didnt clarify that earlier