Men, what do you make of this?

[wastedtime]

I was recently on a blind date(3weeks ago), my friend met him a few weeks prior and he talked about how hard it is to find a gal that didn't play games, etc. So she told him she knew perfect person (me) we met, hit it off. The day after the blind date he called her to thank her, he told her that I was beautiful and that we were a good match. He'd always implied that he was no player in many ways, etc. And I liked that.. We kissed on the third date, and a few times after.

 

Then last week he asked me if I wanted to go to his pool on the weekend, I told him I had family in town and didn't know yet. Well, on saturday nite he asked about Sunday again, and I said I hadn't heard from my sister yet so it was still up in the air whether or not I would see her. He asked me to call him on Sunday to let him know whether or not I'll be free.

 

Sunday by 1pm I knew I was not gonna see my family so I called him left him a message saying "it's me call me back". He didn't. Odd cause this thus far he was very good at calling when he said he would. He told me he had a disease early on, so I thought maybe he was sick in a Hospital somewhere. So I called 3 hosptials--nothing. Then on Tuesday I called him and left him another message "Hey, are u ok? let me know" Nothing. Finally on Friday the friend that matched us called him. Seems like he didn't recognize her # cause he answered the phone and pretended to misunderstand her name (a few times) even after she mentioned to him she was the one that introduced him to me. Now my name is very very rare, still he prentended to not hear it clearly, finally she asks him "are u ok?" he responds "Yeeaah... can I call u back?" At that point we knew.

 

I was wondering what's your take on this. I find it so strange.

 

[lady00]

I'm not a guy but it sounds like he's dodging your calls. It's possible he has lost interest. Rule of thumb I like to go by is call once and leave a message. 3 unanswered calls is my absolute max. If you don't hear back, they're probably not that into you. If a someone is interested in you, they'll call.

[wastedtime]

I'm not a guy but it sounds like he's dodging your calls. It's possible he has lost interest. Rule of thumb I like to go by is call once and leave a message. 3 unanswered calls is my absolute max. If you don't hear back, they're probably not that into you. If a someone is interested in you, they'll call.

 

 

I agree with you on the one call rule. I only called a second time cause he has a condition. Otherwise no, one call is all he gets. Yeah, we figured he's lost interest, but he's all over me on Saturday nite wanting to see me on Sunday. One doesn't lose interest overnite. It could be he only wanted one thing and gave up since I'm not easy.

[lady00]

One doesn't lose interest overnite. It could be he only wanted one thing and gave up since I'm not easy.

 

Unfortunately, some do. Some people are hot-and-cold like that. Overeager one minute, barely there the next. But usually if they find someone they are really into, that probably won't happen.

[DN]

It seems odd behaviour but I wonder if he was put off by your indecision over the pool invitation. Maybe he thought you were playing games.

[Cadence308]

I agree with DN. It sounds like he wanted an answer about the pool and he probably thought you were irresolute about the whole pool thing.

 

If you are that into him, you could call him again, but block your number using *67 before you dial his number and your number will come up as "unavailable" on his cell phone. Then you can call him on it! That's what I would do, if you think he's worth it.

[wastedtime]

It seems odd behaviour but I wonder if he was put off by your indecision over the pool invitation. Maybe he thought you were playing games.

 

I thought about that but then I remembered that I told him about the weekend early in the week. He can't expect me to cancel with my family that's in town.

 

I don't know... his reaction to my friend's call implies he was up to no good. Otherwise he would have told her he thought I was playing games or something.

[DN]

I don't think he would have expected you to cancel - but it was all a bit last minute indecision. Anyway - best to write him off and find someone else.

[Msnak]

Writing someone off so quickly makes me wonder if we might be making a mistake. We might be writing them off without a full explanation. Not all explanations are worthwhile, of course, and people might lie or try to beg for sympathy. Others are confused, shy or possibly getting over a previous relationship or inexperienced in romantic relationships.

 

But I sometimes wonder if giving up so soon is just the easiest thing to do because in this busy society of ours we don't take the time and effort to make connections. I think you have to take a chance, which means there's a lot of effort involved.

 

I've seen people get together because there was a "connection" but there were obstacles that people simply had to overcome. And sometimes, one person was jumping over the hurdles by themselves before their love joined them. Sure, it doesn't work in every case, but it's worth a try sometimes if you feel strongly for someone.

[wastedtime]

I don't know...I think this guy was a fake. Playing the nice guy to get in my pants. He told me that before meeting me he had a revelation, about why he cut girls off after he slept with them once.

 

I'm glad he disappeared before we ever did anything.

[wastedtime]

I don't think he would have expected you to cancel - but it was all a bit last minute indecision. Anyway - best to write him off and find someone else.

 

Well, the pool plans were up in the air, so there was nothing to cancel. And had he returned my call he would have learned that I was free to see him! He never called to hear whether or not I could meet him.

 

Yes, I have written him off...still I am curious what others might get that I didn't.

[Msnak]

I totally understand the choice to back away from a liar and a guy after "one thing." It's wise of you to be on the look out. I guess it's important to guard your heart, mind and body simultaneously, to avoid getting hurt and being used!

[wastedtime]

I totally understand the choice to back away from a liar and a guy after "one thing." It's wise of you to be on the look out. I guess it's important to guard your heart, mind and body simultaneously, to avoid getting hurt and being used!

 

 

I mean I don't KNOW for sure if that's what this was all about, I just have a feeling.

 

Better safe than sorry.

[annie24]

I've often found that the guys who say that they "don't like games" are the biggest game players of all!!!

[wastedtime]

I've often found that the guys who say that they "don't like games" are the biggest game players of all!!!

 

Yep....although he didn't tell me he didn't play games, but none the less.

[lady00]

Agreed. Also, if he had a problem with the whole pool invite thing...if anything bothered him, then he should have just spoken up about it. His approach of just ignoring you is pretty immature. I think either way, if he was bothered by something you did (or something he thought you did) and wanted to continue things or he simply wasn't interested anymore he should have had the decency to say something.

[itsmenicole]

he probably thought you were blowing him off and he didn't want to feel like the fool. you chased him a little so i betcha he'll be calling you soon enough

[wastedtime]

he probably thought you were blowing him off and he didn't want to feel like the fool. you chased him a little so i betcha he'll be calling you soon enough

 

U think? Well, I will not answer.

 

 

[lady00]

Good for you. If he has anything to say to you, he can tell it to your voicemail and then you can decide whether or not it's worth your time to respond.

[lara78]

'He told me that before meeting me he had a revelation, about why he cut girls off after he slept with them once.'

 

well dont you find that weird?

[Raspberry]

It seems odd behaviour but I wonder if he was put off by your indecision over the pool invitation. Maybe he thought you were playing games.

 

That is a real possibility, but I also noticed something else, which although might be trivial, could have a slight chance of playing a part.

 

He asked me to call him on Sunday to let him know whether or not I'll be free.

 

Sunday by 1pm I knew I was not gonna see my family so I called him left him a message saying "it's me call me back".

 

Why didn't you call him directly, like he requested? It might have been a little "test" of some kind to gauge a level of interest. But even if it wasn't, calling him directly would have meant that he had less of a chance to forget about/ignore you.

[wastedtime]

 

That is a real possibility, but I also noticed something else, which although might be trivial, could have a slight chance of playing a part.

 

He asked me to call him on Sunday to let him know whether or not I'll be free.

 

Sunday by 1pm I knew I was not gonna see my family so I called him left him a message saying "it's me call me back".

 

Why didn't you call him directly, like he requested? It might have been a little "test" of some kind to gauge a level of interest. But even if it wasn't, calling him directly would have meant that he had less of a chance to forget about/ignore you.

 

Actaully, I did call him directly (on his cell phone) It ringed a few times then went to voicemail. That's where I left the message.

Either he was out of signal or simply ignored my call.

[wastedtime]

Good for you. If he has anything to say to you, he can tell it to your voicemail and then you can decide whether or not it's worth your time to respond.

 

Thanks

 

 

'He told me that before meeting me he had a revelation, about why he cut girls off after he slept with them once.'

 

well dont you find that weird?

 

Oh, no not BEFORE meeting ME in particular, but about a month before he ever met me, through therapy he realized WHY he was doing that to girls. Implying he no longer was doing it. I appreciated his honesty and also that he was working through his personal stuff and ending bad habits. And so I seemed to have focused entirely on the positive (that he was no longer doing that) (maybe I'm weird). But in retrospect I don't know. I feel as though he was trying to con me and he eventually gave up, thank god. But yeah, that is weird, yet when he told me about it I didn't judge him, I saw it as a guy trying to be a better person and brave enough to share his dark side with me. You know? Maybe I was blind.