I'm not exactly sure what I should do

[Rj83]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this forum so to start off I'll let you that I am a 22 year old college senior, or will be a senior at least in about 2 weeks, from Washington DC and am majoring in History. I feel a little awkward here because while I am no expert in relationships, I can usually hold my own, but this summer has presented me with a unique situation.

 

I spent my summer working with this girl at an NGO to help underpriviledged communities gain access to clean water in developing countries. Almost from the moment I met her, I was extremely attracted to her. I never thought I'd meet a woman like her in my life; her passion, her intelligence, her energy, and not to mention her physical beauty are unparalleled compared to anyone I've ever met before. Anyways, I worked with her all summer, and every now and then I would try to give her little hints of my feelings for her, and I at least feel like she responded in a postive way. I've wanted all summer to tell her how I felt, but did not because I didn't want to alter both our friendship and our working relationship.

 

I decided a few weeks ago I would present my feelings to her sometime before our time together was over, which is quickly approaching, but here is my dilemma. I am 22 and she is 27. Now that didn't bother me in the least until about a week ago, when her room mate broke up with his girlfriend. Now thing is, he is 27 and she is 22. After the fallout from her roommate's break up, she began telling my how much of a difference 5 years in age makes and how she saw there was going to be an issue in maturity along with a few other things. I also overheard her talking to my mother about the whole thing at a dinner party we went to recently and of course she brought up the age issue again. Now I'm leaving to go back to college in slightly over a week, and I don't know when I'll get another chance to see her again. I'm not exactly sure what I should do anymore, I honestly did think she was attracted to me, but after some of the things she has said since her roommate's relationship ended, my mind is filled with doubt.

 

Any opinions or advice you have would be appreciated. I've never been in a situation like this before, I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I honestly never thought age would be an issue for me.

[pip]

My advice is to go for it.

 

Think of it this way. What's worse: telling her your feelings and she tells you nothing can happen, or never seeing her ever again and not knowing?

 

Life is too short, and you'll get over it if she says no

 

Good luck!

[Kurodashi]

Ah yes, I understand the girl of your affections perspective. Even if I liked a guy 5 years younger than me, it would worry me that he would be too immature to carry the responcibilty of nuturing and caring for my emotions and feelings. It is a risk to take.

But you know what? She doubts... she doesnt completely rule it out.

I'm sure she does like you, but 5 years is a big difference, and she is just voicing her concerns about being betrayed by the whimsical heart of an immature man.

 

Show her how mature and sensible you are for your age, and prove to her that you can be everything she would come to expect from a 27 year old, and more. How do you do this? Ask her out... she certainly seems like the type of girl that would be compassionate enough to let you in, and take that chance.

Do the best with that opportunity, and prove her slight doubts incorrect. Treat her the best you can.

[Rj83]

Thanks alot for the advice, that actually does make me feel alot better, and restores some of my confidence as well.

[brando]

rj83,

 

none of us here are experts on relationships. And those who think they are are only kidding themselves. We are al here because we want to learn more about our relationships, and ourselves. Every single experience shared on these boards is another piece to the great big puzzle of life.

 

Your experience now is helping or will help someone else who is or will be faced with a simialr situation.

 

Now as far as your dilemma, i feel you need to take a chance and forget about the age difference.

 

I dated a woman who was six years older than me when i was 21. It lasted three years, when I realized we were at two very different stages in life. Let me tell you although it didnt last, it was one of the best relationships i've had.

 

It isnt about the numbers. It is about the people involved.

 

godd luck,

 

Brando

[thewriterslife]

Well, I am an expert on relationships and I pop on here once in awhile to see if I can help. I know this isn't going to be what you want to hear, but if this girl has brought this subject up, she's doing so for a reason. I feel she really likes you and don't want to hurt you. On a brighter note, I also feel she is fighting the feeling and it's bothering her because she cares about you. I think she is fighting the age issue and not the fact that you are someone she is not attracted to. What I would do is keep in contact with her and make her realize that fighting the feeling won't be as satisfying as exploring a relationship with you but let her find that out on her own by realizing what a fantastic person you are (as if she doesn't already know that!). Good luck, hon!

[brando]

well their you go, an experts opinion.

[Rj83]

Thanks, I'm glad I was able to get opinions from several different people and perspectives. I'll let you all know what happens.