Should I let go?

[MyEyesHurt]

This needs a tinny bit of background info. My ex and I broke up in March, it was my fault I ruined everything. We've talked once of twice, very hostile. Shortly after that she moved out of state. Then in July I ran into her in a bar, turn out she's visiting relatives for the summer and we've been talking a lot. And I realized that I'm still in love with her, but since the reason we broke up was my fault I didn't say anything to her until she told me she still had feeling for me. Since then we've been talking a lot about possibly getting back together, she's even willing to give up her job and move back here. What should I do? I love her, and I want her to be happy. But I don't know if dropping her life and coming back here to try it again with me would make her happy in the long run.

[melrich]

Well I'd say go for it but for your fear about not making her happy. Why do you say that? Is there something you are not saying in your post?

[SadnConfused]

Have her start looking for jobs in your area. Check and see if something is interesting to her. It does not matter that she is away from you. If two people can not live without each other, they will find their way back. Check and see about jobs in her area. Why not? You can always come back....

[MyEyesHurt]

Well I'd say go for it but for your fear about not making her happy. Why do you say that? Is there something you are not saying in your post?

 

There are... trust issues, since our brake up. Mean she doesn't trust me. I cheated on her. I was at a party and I was drunk, and i did tell her the next morning, but it's not an excuse. I havn't been doing all too well without her, and she hasn't either, so she tells me. I screwed things up once, I don't want to make it worse. Then again, I don't know what I'd do without her.

[SadnConfused]

I know, I know. It is so hard without them. I HATE everday without her. What are we suposed to do? RESOLVE the issue. Show her you have grown out of that.

[Bounder]

I went through something similar (the cheating). Her forgiving you will be HER decision. not tyours, remember that. But you have to forgive yourself and be ready for a hell of a ride for a while. Eventually though remember this, leave the past in the past. If she comes back, its because she sees a future. Dont let her use the past to pin you down too much. I made that mistake.....keep talking

[MyEyesHurt]

I went through something similar (the cheating). Her forgiving you will be HER decision. not tyours, remember that. But you have to forgive yourself and be ready for a hell of a ride for a while. Eventually though remember this, leave the past in the past. If she comes back, its because she sees a future. Dont let her use the past to pin you down too much. I made that mistake.....keep talking

 

You're right it is her decision and now mine, but she is asking me weather or not she should move back. What happeneds when she moves back in with me and she hasn't compleatly forgiven me? I've dragged her away from her life and screwed with her life again. That's what i'm scared of.

[Bounder]

She should be a big girl and open her eyes to what she might be walking into her. Perhaps have a bit of a talk, tell her that you understand that things will not be perfect right away in terms of moving passed it, but you need communication and to work on trust right away. If she bottles stuff and tells you shes fine all the time, that could be very very dangerous.

[sonjam]

Why don't you guys just give it a little more time, so you can grow in the newfound relationship, and she can make an informed decision. Moving back in, and then blaming you if things go wrong will not be a pleasant thing, so take it slow, date and when you both feel ready, move in together.

 

She should not be asking, it is a decision you should take together.

[melrich]

Yeah I agree with Bounder. talk to her about your fears, I am sure she has some to. Start the new relationship honestly.

[Bounder]

Good advice sonjam, I second that motion!

[MyEyesHurt]

She should be a big girl and open her eyes to what she might be walking into her. Perhaps have a bit of a talk, tell her that you understand that things will not be perfect right away in terms of moving passed it, but you need communication and to work on trust right away. If she bottles stuff and tells you shes fine all the time, that could be very very dangerous.

Communication is out strong point. She's the type to say everything is fine.

 

Why don't you guys just give it a little more time, so you can grow in the newfound relationship, and she can make an informed decision. Moving back in, and then blaming you if things go wrong will not be a pleasant thing, so take it slow, date and when you both feel ready, move in together.

 

She should not be asking, it is a decision you should take together.

She's supposed to be flying back monday, or moving right in with me and having her brother bring up all her stuff when he comes in at the end of the month.

[SadnConfused]

That is pretty ballsy of her...for lack of better words. She must be quite intent on her INTENTIONS. follow me what Im sayin. Make sure everything is OK with the both of you...