does he mean it if he said it drunk?

[whitelilly]

Hi, I previously posted regarding liking my friend and not knowing if he felt the same way..

 

Well, the other night we went out with some friends, and he got extremely drunk. One thing led to another and we ended up kissing and it nearly led to sex. He told me that he really liked me, and that he knew we would end up kissing.. (As I previously mentioned, there had been what I thought was sexual tension in our friendship)

 

He even said he really wanted to go out with me. Then the next day, he was oblivious to it all! He says he can't remember anything after a certain point (which was quite a bit before we got together)

 

I don't know if he's saying he can't remember because he is embarrassed (he was extremely drunk, and was saying and doing some pretty funny stuff) or if he really doesn't remember. I told him that we kissed.. but we haven't talked much about it anymore.

 

Do you think that him being drunk means that it was meaningless? Or the other way around, that he was speaking the truth because he was drunk? I can only assume that this is going to happen again, but I don't want to make any moves if it was something he can't remember and didn't really want to do!

[robowar]

He may regret what he said. Keep in mind that you will do things you never imagined while drunk because it all seems like a dream. Better to have serious conversations and do sexual things while sober.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Drunk makes you impulsive, not another person.

How long have you known each other?

[Morning_Star]

Hello,

 

I often heard people say that when someone say or does something while they are under the influence of alcohol they meant it and I personally believe just that. Sometimes people want to do or say things while they are sober but they can not build up enough heart to do so...I know I have. I also think after it is all said and done people make an excuse of being under the influence the blame of their actions. I also believe that it is on an individual's basis.

 

Hope this helps

[whitelilly]

I have known him for about a year. We have been good friends for about 6 months, and for the last 2 months we have been seeing each other nearly every day..

[smallworld]

Denial is a healthy emotion we employ until we're ready to face reality. For whatever reason, his feelings for you are too overwhelming to feel when sober, so he claims that he's oblivious to what happened that night. If he's that embarrassed, you're probably better off pretending the things he said and did never happened, because essentially that's what he's doing (even though you know the truth.)

 

For now indulge his need for denial. It'll be less painful and confusing for you both. And for your own emotional protection, please don't get sexually involved with him when he's drunk. He's likely to say and do more things he won't "remember" later either.

[Morning_Star]

Well from what you have mentioned in your post, I personally think that he meant it and not to mention from my own personal experiences. Again...it really depends on that individual.

 

You should give him some friendly advice and tell him that he needs to drink more responsibly so he could start remembering his actions.

[Cecelius]

I've said tons of things to elicit some kind of emotion, either in myself or others, when I was drunk. It may not mean anything.

[Morning_Star]

I truly believe that it is based on the individual.

[lillady898]

All people don't act alike while under the influence. Some people are very beligerent and say things they don't mean, some stay to themselves, some let the hearts pour out. I've seen people act many different ways. When I am under the influence, I am the type of person who let's all the truth come out... Most of the time by accident.

 

But I've never known someone who completely forgot about the entire night. Most people have glimpses of reality while their drunk and remember bits and pieces of the night, especially if they had hooked up for the first time with someone.

[perfectliljewel]

you are in a tough spot. i know that when my bf is drunk he says stupid things he once told his best friend to get the f*** out of his house and go to hell however he probably meant that b/c his friend was being a jerk to me anyway all people act different. i would say he meant it but iono

[dancesinquicksand]

I asked a male friend this same question a few years back. And he gave me what i think is good advice. IGNORE.. anything he says while drunk. Men tend to not be themselves at these times. As much as you want to believe what happened, and what was said. It is best to just set it aside, and a oldie but goodie.. Only time will tell..