How can I get to know her better?

[DocHoliday]

There is this girl at work. She is so cool and nice to me. This past month, I have been falling head-over-heals for her. The problem is I can't really talk to her. She flirts with me and shows a lot of signs that she is interested in me. I just don't want her to get bored of me and move on because I don't do anything. I need your help.

 

She has begun to open me up at work. Thats the only time though. She has given me some self-confidence (which is very rare to me). She has also gotten me into good moods.

 

I really want to get to know this girl. BUT before you give your answers, review these things :

 

1. I am deathly shy.

 

2. I don't have a car. (me and my dad can't afford the insurance)

 

3. I have flirted back, but I just don't want this to be 'just flirting'. I want this to go somewhere.

 

4. Never had a GF, or a girl who is really a friend.

 

5. Never been kissed, etc.

 

6. I only see her at work.

 

7. I really want to tell her how I feel about her, but is that a good idea?

 

I am pretty sure she is interested, and I know I am REALLY interested, but I don't know what to do from here. I really don't want to mess this up. Thanks so much.

 

DocHoliday

[c00kie]

asked for her number yet? to avoid the shy paranoia of being rejected, if she hesitates have an excuse for just if she want to swap shifts or something.....other than that being shy is probably your worst downfall. save telling her your feelings for if you actually get together. how old are you? the best way to check if she wants anything is just to ask her. there comes a point where you just have to think "awww screw it" and just go for it otherwise you will get nowhere with her and many others down the track.

[rionmccloud]

Put that self confidence to good use and just ask. What's the worst that can happen? She could say no. Then again she could say Yes. Can you see into the future? No. Do you want to know what she'd say? Yes. So guess what you need to do.

 

 

ASK HER.

 

You won't get anywhere sitting in the shadows. Step into the light Doc! Join us shy people that have come through to the surface and are enjoying tans!

 

But seriously... Just ask her. She'll likely say yes. Ask her to lunch when at work. As her to coffee before or after. Just ask her. You'll be glad you did no matter the outcome. I was like you once, and now I have a second date with one girl and a date with another. It can be done. I'm living proof.

 

So yeah, just ask her.

[Markers]

next time you see her, think immediately: "screw it, I go!". And then go.

 

Don't think: "okay I'll do that after few minutes" because she might leave.. and it's the harder, the more you hang around before doing it.

 

 

So just next time you see her, ask her. (Unless of course she's with her dad or gigantic bunch of friends that really freaks you out, in that case, wait until she's on her own. If you don't have that luxury, you just gotta tell her: "oh, can I have a word with you?" and then go away from her friends/family)

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hey man.

 

all i can say is to have confidence.. believe in ur self.. no matter poeple say or she says.. u dont have a car.. who cares .. just have confidence.. be yourself... if she rejected you no problem.. it hapeens to all people and it will pass..

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

and something else.... if u r shy and maybe she is shy too.

 

take thinngs slowly better no rush..

 

take ur time

[Kookie]

there's a first time for everything! do you live where there are other transportation choices besides your own car? if so, what's stopping you?!

 

you've spoken to her enough to know what she likes/doesn't like. so ask her out to something she does like.

[Tigris]

If you don't want to ask her send her a red rose with a card asking her. She'll like that because it's the romantic touch. I bet nobody else has done it, so it will be very special.

 

She'll never forget you as long as she lives!

 

Let us know how you get on.

 

Good luck.

[DocHoliday]

there's a first time for everything! do you live where there are other transportation choices besides your own car? if so, what's stopping you?!

 

There are buses, but thats a no-no. I could ask my dad to take us, but at 17, thats kinda pathetic. She does have a truck, but I don't want to bum rides off of her if I am trying to take her out. So what now?

 

you've spoken to her enough to know what she likes/doesn't like. so ask her out to something she does like.

 

Thats another thing. I really haven't talked to her all that much. So I really don't know what she likes. I don't even know how old she is. I know you guys are going to wonder how I could have feelings if I don't know her. And I just do.

 

asked for her number yet?

 

No I haven't. I really want to and I would, but I really don't have anything to talk about. I know the point is to get to know her better, but if she starts asking me questions, she will learn everything about me in the first phone call. My life is not exciting. With limited friends, and nothing to do, my life is just bleh. I wake up, sit on my computer for a little while, go eat, sit on it some more, get ready for work, go to work, get off, go to bed. Thats how every day is for me. And in a week, school will be in the mix.

 

If you don't want to ask her send her a red rose with a card asking her. She'll like that because it's the romantic touch. I bet nobody else has done it, so it will be very special.

 

Thats a good idea and all, but what would I be asking her for? A date or a number? I will keep that idea in mind.

[Tigris]

You'd be asking for a date!

 

Good luck

[smallworld]

Hey Doc, keep it simple. Ask her out for coffee or lunch. Personally I like ice cream. You can learn a lot about a person by their flavor selection.

 

I know you're holding back because you're afraid she find no "there" there, but if she's seeking you out, it's obvious that she likes what she sees. Your best bet would be to flirt back, because not flirting could be misinterpreted as lack of interest. A little flirting and genuine interest in her goes a long way. How else is she going to know you like her?

 

No need to tell her how you feel yet. Just show her you like her in your actions. Be chivalrous!

 

No need to worry about driving. If she's seeking you out, I doubt she cares whether you drive or not. Attention and affection outrank driving capabilities anyday.

 

Actually not driving could be a great excuse to spend sometime with her. Ask her one day if she'd teach you. It'll be a great excuse to compensate her with dinner and a movie. 8)

[DocHoliday]

What would be a good first date? Bowling? What? Thanks guys!

 

Doc

[Tigris]

Go and see a movie.

[easyguy]

...followed by a light dinner afterwards.

[DocHoliday]

I thought a movie was a bad idea for a first date. Or at least thats what I have been told. Because you never really get to talk to the person.

 

So if I am giving her a rose with a card, what should the card say?

 

And how do I basically tell her, that I will need her to drive.

 

Thanks!

 

Doc

 

|EDIT| Forgot to reply to this. |EDIT|

 

No need to worry about driving. If she's seeking you out, I doubt she cares whether you drive or not. Attention and affection outrank driving capabilities anyday.

 

Actually not driving could be a great excuse to spend sometime with her. Ask her one day if she'd teach you.

 

I think you misunderstood me. I never said I didn't know how to drive. I can drive very well. I just don't have a car or anything like that. So that idea is out of the picture. Thanks for the suggestion though.

[Tigris]

It can get you past the embarrassing stage, e.g. slip your hand into hers, your arm around her shoulders, etc. If it's in the dark nobody can see you.

Then afterwards you can go for a pizza or something. So you have the best of both worlds.

 

Send the rose with a card asking her out and put your phone number on it. When she rings say you can drive but you haven't got a car. She'll understand.

 

Good luck.

[DocHoliday]

Then afterwards you can go for a pizza or something. So you have the best of both worlds.

 

HAHAHAHA! I know I didn't tell you were I work so here it goes. I work at a pizza place. So thats not going to work for either of us. Any other suggestions? I hate flying blind with these things. Well I gotta give something a go, before she loses intrest.

 

Doc

[Maverick32x]

haha thats funny.. work at a pizza place...

 

im going to have to disagree w/ that rose idea, am i the only one who thinks thats a little over the top? you are only 17 years old.... and im not sure how close you guys are as friends... i would think you would want to keep it as casual as possible. But thats kind of my approach.....

 

the movie idea is awesome imo, its really easy to bring up, and gives you something to do... the dinner after is good to, you can basically go anywhere, it wouldnt be too hard to pick somewhere close.

 

to ask her to the movie, you could jsut bring up how you've always wanted to see and than if she shows any intrest, be like, we should defintly go see it! or something like that, and yada yada yada.. you know what to do from there

 

if you are shy, its goign to be alot easier to keep it casual and friendly..... since if you try to make it too romantic and like a date, you probably will freak out, and not be yourself.... so if you ask casually it shouldnt be too big of a deal

[Boricua7]

Ok, if you're truly shy the best thing to do would be to invite her to hang out with you and a couple of your friends. That way your friends can see how she acts around you (they're the best for telling you if someone likes you or not) and you won't need a car because you'd be hitching a ride with a buddy to go catch a movie or something. Also, let her invite some of her friends too. You can ask her when you're both on break or something. Girls don't care if you've had a girlfriend before or not, that's not what they're thinking about when they flirt with you. Don't worry about never having kissed either. I hadn't until my recent boyfriend and it's not that big of a deal. Really. I think you should hold off on telling her how you feel until you've hung out with her more and gotten to know her better outside of work.

 

Hope this helps!

[DocHoliday]

How does asking her to go ice skating sound? It sounds kinda dumb probably, and fruity to you guys, but I play a little ice hockey, so its normal. And would I just meet her there? Or would I ask her to take us? And if so would it be bad if I didn't give her money for gas? I know, really dumb questions, but I need to know. Thanks.

 

Doc

[c00kie]

dont see anything wrong with just meeting her there. i reckon it wouldnt look to great if you asked her to drive you round on your dates. and ice skating is fun, average date but better than the movies. then try pizza have you asked her about anything yet?

 

 

o nvm saw your other post

[DonDonTheTrueDonDon]

She will definetly say yes to anything you ask her. Her interest level is probley in the high 90% area.

 

Ask her if she wants to do something on a certain date. Ask her if she wants to hang out some time. Ask her specificly about something like if she wants to go see a movie. If you ever find out that she likes doing a perticular thing then ask her if she would want to do that with you. If you don't know what she likes then just ask her straight up, "So what kinds of things do you like to do when you aren't at Pizza Hut (or wherever)." You might follow that up with, "Oh really? Me to. We should do that together sometime."

 

With her being able to drive and you not being able, I would think that is a hard situation. But I believe it really isn't that big of a deal. I think it doesn't matter that much. I know a bf/gf couple at my school and every day I see the girl driving to her house with him in the passenger seat. Also, don't worry about giving her gas money. Being with her is all the pay she needs. It is the least amount of worry for her.

 

The actual date is something you should think about only after you have done the hard part. That is to ask her out on the date. I wish I knew you in real life because I think I could help you a great deal with you and growing as a person and becoming confident and successful. I was you just 4 months ago. A girl sent me all the same signs. I knew that she wouldn't turn me down, yet it was still very hard to bust out the question. I did. She was happy. We went on a date that Friday night. A movie, and then icecream. It was probley the first time I have ever talked to a girl for that long of a time. We ended up talking for like 2-3 hrs at the icecream place. I was just like you coming in to the thing. I would never have believed that I could converse with a girl that long. I just hope you go through with it like I did. Because after that everything just gets better. Not just with this girl, but you as a person just get much better.

[Goincrazy]

When I feel shy, I just think of the movie called the 40 yr old virgin or Napolean Dynamite and say heck no! I'm not ending up like them.

[DocHoliday]

It must be nice to have that power over yourself. Me, I can only hope.

 

Doc

[DonDonTheTrueDonDon]

Doc have you ever done something you didn't want to do because you were scared of it? A good example for me is I was afraid of roller coasters. I finally rode one one time and then after that I was like, damn I wish I would have ridden one a lot sooner. Thats what its like when you ask someone out. You have to just do it. Have you ever jumped off like a 40 ft ledge and into some water? You are afraid at first. But then something just tells you to just go and do it. You do it, and you live. It is in the past. You can now say you did it. You conquered it. You can do it over and over again now. I am telling you man. It might feel like you are ending your life to just ask a girl out. But its not that way. Of course I have never been rejected before. I have only asked one girl out before and she said yes. Now I hate her and am in the process of asking some other girl out. Surprisingly it is harder since she is so perfect in my eyes. But I will take another big jump. Instead of 40ft its going to be 100ft. But whatever the case, the water will always be there. Not the cement.