Skin problems...so afraid.

[cichlid]

So I've had this skin problem since I was about 8. Everytime I brought it up to my mom she would tell me it was nothing and dissuade me from getting it looked at. Always telling me that it wasn't that big of a deal and it doesn't seem to be affecting me. What about self esteem and always feeling self conscious? For 11 years I lived with it hiding under my clothing. Looking in the mirror and seeing pinky-red, flaky raised patches of skin always made me feel ugly and like I would never be wanted by anyone. Years of being jealous at people with perfect skin! Of all things...I was jealous of people that had rash-free skin. I was jealous that they could wear swimsuits and not have to worry about anything. They could be normal! Finally, I have made an appointment to have it looked at. FINALLY! I feel mad at myself for letting it go so long.

 

I wrote a blog about finally making that appointment and briefly talking about it (minus my emotions about it all). It was public...soon after posting it this guy I like and likes me signed on and I quickly made the blog private. I know he needs to know because he seriously wants to get with me. We have talked about getting together when he gets back. I'm so afraid of telling him because I have no idea what is going on with my skin. It's not visible...well its under my clothing around my bottom and somewhat on my stomach. I want so badly to tell him but it's like AHHHHH! On the 31st I will hopefully know. I have often thought for 3 years it was psoriasis because it acts so much like it, but I won't know for another month when my appointment is set for.

 

So right now I have an undiagnosed skin condition that I feel self conscious about...but it's going to be looked at soon. I have a guy I like but I'm so afraid he won't like me anymore after he knows. I wish it wasn't there...it would make things so much easier. At times I get so down about having to tell him that I feel like just avoiding him and telling him I don't want to get with him anymore. I have told two people and one completely understood and was the one that pushed me to make the appointment. He said he deals with psoriasis that flares up when he is stressed out. My other friend started getting irritated with me and started snapping at me and just made me feel worse about myself.

 

Blah blah blah...okay now I'm being a whiny baby. No one likes a depressed person that makes everything out to be worse than it actually is. I mean it isn't that bad...but I'm just so afraid of being rejected because of it! 8-[

[jna35]

I'm sorry that your mom didn't acknowledge your feelings about your rash- that's unthinkable to me!! I suffer from constant rashes. I've been dubbed a dermatologist's dream, lol! Sometimes I am embarrassed too, but the people that matter love me anyway. I suffer from eczema especially when I'm stressed. I manage mine real well now with various creams.I'm glad your friend convinced you to get it checked out, that's half the battle. It sounds to me like you probably do have either psoriasis or eczema, both are treatable by the way.. My sister suffers from both! I'm sure you will be fine and that your guy will accept you as you are.

 

P.S. Any guy that would leave you or not want to be with you based on a skin condition is not worth your time.

[flowereyes]

You know the saying, "To love someone, you have to love yourself, and be comfortable in your own skin".. well Im not sure exactly what it is like to be you, and have that sort of skin problem, but what I can tell you is... to follow your heart. No matter how self consious you feel, just go for it. You have nothing to loose. If he doesnt like you for everything you are then... he's not worth it.

 

Just smile and know that your beautiful no matter what anyone else thinks of you... confidence is the most beautiful part of any person, Not co*kiness, or being full of yourself.. but confidence knowing that you are beautiful inside and out. Not sure if my reply will help, but I thought I would let you in on my 2 cents.

[Tigris]

I suffer from eczema when I get stressed out. It's mainly between my shoulders. Sometimes, it's behind my knees and on my arms.

 

Does it itch?

 

Good luck with your appointment. Let us know how you get on.

[frustratedWithLife]

If this guy is going to judge you on a skin condition you don't need to be with him. I've always believed that a beutiful person is seen from the inside, not the outside. I've talked to quite a few pretty(on the outside) women that I would never even consider being with because they are way to self absorbed with how they look on the outside. I would say that having this skin condition is a bit of an advantage to you, you'll be able to tell if the guy is shallow sooner than most.

[cichlid]

I know it will help me see exactly if he is shallow or not. It scares me because he does see me as attractive. He liked me before he saw me...mostly because of my personality. He says the looks are sort of like an extra bonus. But it's going to be hard telling him that really isn't true. There is more than what he can see that isn't perfect. We've been good friends and have known each other for 5 months. 6 months when he will be back in time for school.

 

Tigris, it does itch in the winter mostly when my skin gets worse. In teh summer it mostly gets a lot better. Not nearly as flaky and the areas the sun hits will make it go away temporarily. But like I think I said earlier...I will know what it is after my appointment in a month.

[Tigris]

It sounds like eczema to me. That's worse in the winter because you've got more clothes on which makes you seat a lot. The summer, well the sun helps it to dry out.

 

Mine looks red and flaky. If you scratch it, it bleeds.

 

I hope everything goes okay for you where your boyfriend's concerned. If he loves you it won't make any difference to him.

 

I was worried about my husband seeing my stretch marks when we got together and he was worried about me seeing the varicose veins on the side of his stomach. Neither of us told the other about our fears. I put the light off for us to get undressed.

 

The first time you sleep with someone you're too busy to look for any faults. I knew the lumps were there because I could feel them. Afterwards when I saw them it didn't matter! However, if I'd seen them when he took his shirt off I might have looked shocked, which would've upset him. We're still together 13 years later!

 

Hope this has helped.

 

Take care.

[jna35]

You know what, I'm sure he will find you just as attractive rash or nor rash. He obviously likes you. I know it can make you self conscious and I understand. It seems he already sees you as beautiful inside and out. Besides, I'm sure he has things that he's self conscious about too. I don't think there are many people that can say otherwise. Let us know what you find out.

[cichlid]

It sounds like eczema to me. That's worse in the winter because you've got more clothes on which makes you seat a lot. The summer, well the sun helps it to dry out.

 

Mine looks red and flaky. If you scratch it, it bleeds.

Same spots...worse looking in the winter mostly. It barely spreads to other regions. If I scratch it it looks like I have some white scales. Never has bled.

 

Thanks guys for all your comments. I readded the blog and hope he sees it. I think it's better he learned through something small like that since it's like I'm making less of a deal about it. Even though it honestly is killing me wondering how he is going to react. He is in Spain right now so I don't even get to talk to him on the phone like I usually do. He is getting online so he should see it tomorrow. Until then... 8-[

 

Below is the blog I made...I hope it doesn't look like I am over dramatizing it all:

Dermatologist appointment made...LOL! August 31 at 3:45pm. I'm gonna be racing my butt over there after my class that ends at 3:20. I think I can make it. Oh, crap I forgot I'm going to be parking off campus. Oh, well I'll just have my mom drop me and pick me up. She's going to have to pay for it all anyway because there might be some insurance problems. One thing done...and what's going through my head...finally! I should have done this years ago (10 or 11). Like when we first moved to Oklahoma and it all started. **sigh**

 

Michael C. really pushed me to make that appointment this morning. Haha! Crazy guy... I'm still embarrassed that I let this go for so long. I should have kept pestering my mom when I was like 8. I should have. Oh, well you can't change the past. But why'd I let it go so long? One, my mom never really thought it was that big a deal and would dissuade me from getting it looked at whenever I brought it up. It made me incredably self conscious and that's been about it. I can't wait to finally get this over with.

[misery12]

- Sounds good to me.

[Minty80]

I have psoriasis myself, mostly on my shins up to my knees and a little on my elbows. What you have sounded very much like psoriasis to me, mine is always much much better come summer (almost gone right now) than it is in the winter, it never bleeds when I pick it, and it's raised scaly patches that flake off, but eczema is certainly a possibility as well, they tend to mirror each other a lot.

 

My advice? Love yourself regardless. I used to be nervous about people seeing it for the first time (I still wear shorts in the heat so it's visible then), but eventually learned that most people don't really care. I'd get the "what's that?" question a lot, but all I had to say was psoriasis and give short explanation and that was the end of that. Well, except for enduring jokes about the old commercial "The heartbreak of psoriasis..."

 

My boyfriend certainly doesn't care, except to yell at me not to pick at it, which he knows I'm not supposed to really do Everyone has their flaws, I think that's part of what makes everyone beautiful. It's having flaws and loving the flaws because they are part of the person you love. My boyfriend still tells me I'm sexy all the time and the psoriasis is truly a non-issue.

 

There are some great creams and treatments out there now and once you get diagnosed you should hopefully get it into remission. The only thing to remember with psoriasis and eczema is that both are uncurable, but can be put into remission with treatment.

[TRAUMA]

You probably have "tenia Versicolis" .. I suffered with these spots for a number of years (12 thru 27) ...Then I met a wonderfull girl, who later became my wife and I stopped being self conscious about my condition.

the anoying spots disappeared and hopefully never returns..Do see a Dermatologist and dont worry too much about it. Have some faith. They will go away.. Good Luck!!!

[jackknive]

It sounds like eczema to mee too... One thing that really helps, and stops itchies... noxema. The orig one. The new one tends to irritate me worse... Rub it on like lotion, and let it absorb up. Over a few weeks really helps. Although I would test a few times in a small area, in case makes it worse, you don't want it all over. Or check with the DR. But it does help. It got its name "knock eczema" So might help you out.

[cichlid]

I'm definitely going to finally know what it is from the dermatologist soon. ^____^ The appointment is made and the harder part is waiting this month. It should fly by quickly though.

 

The problem is mostly telling this guy that likes me and that I like so much. Especially since it's not going to be diagnosed for awhile I'm also afraid he might be afraid to be near me since I really don't know what's wrong even though no one around me has gotten anything from me...and it does not seem to be contagious in any way. I'm just afraid of what he will think. And I guess I won't know until I get up the nerve to tell him. But that's already been sorta done with the blog entry. I know he is subscribed to it and he reads it pretty frequently.

[Tigris]

It sounds good to me too.

 

Good luck and take care.