Dannysgirl Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 You didn't answer question morethanyouthink, WHY do you want to do this? Ask yourself why and be honest with yourself, you already know the answer to this one but as a 13 yr old (I don't mean to sound patronising) you think that reputation and what other people think is the be all and end all and you want to fit in. Giving this tool head will not win acceptance you'll probably get worse treatment as a result. Please just respect your body Its the only one you'll ever have and this loser doesn't deserve to mess with it. Ignore the people in your class who call you a prude, because at least you won't end up pregnant or with a disease by the time you're 15 like some of them will! A guy who keeps condom wrappers on his wall is NOT worth your time. Link to comment
jna35 Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Here's a website that has the state consent ages- link removed Hope that helps. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 I believe that you need to weigh the risks of having sex or giving head to this guy. Ultimately you are the one that is gonna make the decision about how far you want to go with this guy. You are old enough to make this decision so you need to think about it and decide what you want to do. Yes you are only 13 but you are dealing with a very real situation here, Im not going to tell you what you should do instead it should be something that you want to do. That is going to be the only way you are going to decide what is right for you to do. Link to comment
morethanyouthink Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 dannysgirl, im not going to go "jumping in the sack with some drug head who could very well wind up raping you and hurting you" ok so he does drugs ...who cares its not like i havent ever and he's really nice he would never rape me or puposly hurt me...hes not just some drug head hes a nice guy and i like him and im not sure y that offended me so much Link to comment
shes2smart Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Unless you were there with your friends and saw them having sex don't count on knowing for a fact that they did. I was 13 once and a lot of the kids in my class were saying they were having sex and different things like that. When we got older I found out how much of liars they were in general, and how they lied about anything just to make themselves look and feel cool and fit in. Same experience here. Don't believe everything you hear. I'd be willing to bet there's a lot LESS going on than the talk would lead you to believe. Link to comment
RayKay Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 dannysgirl, im not going to go "jumping in the sack with some drug head who could very well wind up raping you and hurting you" ok so he does drugs ...who cares its not like i havent ever and he's really nice he would never rape me or puposly hurt me...hes not just some drug head hes a nice guy and i like him and im not sure y that offended me so much Most rapes and violence is done by people whom we "know"...date rape, and domestic violence are often inflicted by people who seemed "really nice" at first. You have said yourself you don't really know him. And some drugs (like 'shrooms) can make you do VERY strange things and have violent episodes...they screw with your brain and the senses of right/wrong, real/fantasy. Point is, if you treat your body this casually, at some point you may find yourself in an awful situation, yes it can happen to anyone, but at the same time don't increase your chances. Link to comment
morethanyouthink Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 ok i guess u guys r right but i still dont know part of me really just wants to make him happy like really badly and i dont know why Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Well if he's a nice guy and likes you why don't you wait a while? His penis won't drop off if you make him wait you know - promise! A boyfriend of mine once tried to tell me that his would get 'clogged' if I didn't sleep with him when I was 16, lol I laughed him out of the room. If he's such a nice guy why has he got condom wrappers on his wall? Are you going to like it if he puts the wrapper that the condom he used with you up there? Link to comment
metallicachica247 Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 ur rely rely young, so m i, but i wont even give my bf a hand job. you just met this guy and u want to have sex or give him head? think about it.... what makes sense to u? Link to comment
morethanyouthink Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 i dont know does it really matter i mean i prolly wont sleep w/ him soon if at all but i mean i dont see how head is really that bad i mean i just dont see why its such a big deal and if hes a nice guy why should i wait sonner or l8er its the same Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Is this guy really popular or something? It does seem that you really like him but sometimes when you really like somebody you get blinded to the facts, we've all been wrong about somebody and been hurt, thats part of growing up but please don't let your body be used like that. You deserve to have your first time with a person who loves/cares about you. You might not think its important to be in love before you have had sex but believe me I've experienced both and sex when you're in a loving trusting relationship is far better. I'm also worried about these drugs you're doing, I'm not going to be a hypocrite here as I have tired dope out of curiosity in university but it really messes with your head and body. Some drugs like Ectasy can leave you paralysed or dead so please be careful. LSD can leave you on a permanent bad trip, doing it this young (or at all) could leave you with permanent damage. Link to comment
morethanyouthink Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 r u saying that a bj is worse than a handie im not saying ur wrong but if its better would u care as much if i was just going to give him a hj Link to comment
morethanyouthink Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 just so you know i havent done nething that bad like meth or heroine or e or lsd Link to comment
peaceloveunderstanding Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 *slaps forehead* 13 and considering sex?! oh wow. seems so surreal that someone ten years younger than i am is thinking about things like that. you shouldnt be even considering that at this point in your life. dont be concerned with being labeled "a prude" or whatever else people may say about you for not doing the "cool" thing, but to be honest with you, if you succumb to the temptation to sleep with this guy or fool around with him, you might miss out on some of the best years of your life if you choose to be careless and irresponsible with this CHOICE. (that if, god forbid, he gets you pregnant) nobody says you have to sleep with someone to be accepted. respect yourself more than that. do you really want to tell people your first time was with a guy who used to pin condoms to his wall? haha, i wouldnt want that. if it meant waiting for someone that i knew cared about me more than the physical, i would wait. its worth it. think about the risks youre putting yourself through: he could get you pregnant (and chances are, he wont step up and be a father to your child based upon the way he lives his life now - drugs, showing off condoms like theyre conquests, and having no regard for anyone or anything), he could make you really sick if something hes carrying is transmitted to you, and you would have to hide your relationship from your parents just to be with him?! that sounds like a really quality person. by sleeping with someone like that, youre no better than they are. love yourself more than that. true story: in eighth grade there was a boy who liked me named joe. joe used to give me lots of presents, say really sweet things and tried to get me to mess around with him on numerous occasions. i turned him down constantly, and later found out that he was actually stealing the things he was giving me as gifts from his mom. he was just a creep. well, he wrote in my yearbook "call me sometime this summer. we should hang out." i never called him, but that summer, he got a girl going into seventh grade pregnant. i was so relieved i never called him. that could have been me. the girl was 12 when she got pregnant and a mother by 13. it hit me that could have been me and i counted my blessings that i didnt ever mess around with him. it really hit me hard when i saw the girl with her now nine year old daughter in a department store. her whole life changed with one decision to do the "cool thing." she never got to graduate high school, she never went to her prom, she never had a "normal teenage life" where shed party, hang out with friends, and have fun. instead, she was raising a child. joe never was a father to her child. infact he left the state after she got pregnant. hes as unworthwhile as the guy youre thinking about being with. be smart. the decision is yours. sleep with him if you think youre ready to assume ALL potential consequences. Link to comment
DN Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 You can still get STDs from oral sex. And oral sex is considered sexual activity - so he could still get into trouble. Link to comment
morethanyouthink Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 i wish you guys could know him hes not like that joe kid hes not i dont really know him that well but i really dont think hes like that and im not like sum little ragdoll ppl can just push around i can protect myself hes not really ne bigger than i am and if u read about that (other) guy who kissed me (page 2) i mean i let him do that i could have stopped him i might not have been able to physicaly (hes like a 1/2 a foot taller than me but i had just met him and i knew that i could have just said no i dont like you like that and he woud have stopped and when he found out that that was my fuirst kiss he felt really bad but he was cool enough that we could still hang out and have fun even tho my friends made a big deal out of it and made him feel reall bad Link to comment
jna35 Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 I don't want you to feel like you are being judged. You asked for advice on a VERY sensitive topic and a life altering one for you. We all care what happens to you and just want you to be able to see ALL the angles and possible consequences. Maybe he is a nice guy. We don't know him, so can't really say, but some of things oyu've told us send up some MAJOR red flags! If he's so nice, why not just get to know him and have fun. If he is a nice guy, he will respect you and won't mind waiting. Listen to RayKay's advice on the drug use. They can have very dangerous effects, not only on one's health, but their personality as well. We just don't want to see you get hurt. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Y'know...here's something no one else has brought up that you should probably consider. Take a look at some of the other posts on the board from people who are having relationship problems. Notice how sex complicates things for people 2 and 3 times your age. There are people here older than you and who have more life experience than you who are having a hard time dealing with the consequences of having sex. You've got many, many years to have those sort of pain-in-the-butt complications. You don't need to rush into them. You're better off to delay that sort of annoyance/heart ache/pain for several more years at least. Link to comment
darkblue Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 If a drug using, condom keeping, underaged, sex crazed boy constitutes as a 'nice guy' .. I must be the worst guy in the world Link to comment
morethanyouthink Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 thanx guys i liked hearing ur opinions but when i go to see him if he asks me for head or a handie ill prolly say yes thats my current decision if you have sumthing to say about that go ahead but i like him hes cute hes nice hes funny and even if it does turn out that hes a creep it was only a bj or a hj so ya Link to comment
randy Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 r u saying that a bj is worse than a handie im not saying ur wrong but if its better would u care as much if i was just going to give him a hj well I know people here are going to say don' t encourage her ( but i'm not really trying to ) . But if you have to just give him a hj instead of a bj . BUT BOTH SHOULD BE A NOOOOOO ! ! ! RESPECT yourself and just forget about this guy . He' s no good . You' re just another trophy to him . If you really stop and think about this you will see that . Link to comment
Vert Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 If a drug using, condom keeping, underaged, sex crazed boy constitutes as a 'nice guy' .. I must be the worst guy in the world That's what I'm saying man. I must be a horrible guy too I think you all have beaten her with the truth, and it's obvious she isn't going to listen to anyone. If there's one thing I've learned about talking to teenagers (especially under age 16) it's that they'll ask for your opinion and almost immediately turn it down b/c it's not what they wanted to hear. True there are adults that are just this way but they all have the same characteristic -- a severe lack of maturity. We all hate to see kids having sex (I think we all agree that 13 years old is still a child for the most part) much less kids that have sex "just because". We all believed we were indestructible as children and as teenagers so this is no different. With that said, I agree that you should quit it with a guy that hangs condom wrappers on his wall as trophies. Sorry, but that's just the lamest thing I've ever heard of in my life. The guy honestly hangs those on his wall? Again, I apologize, but any woman worth merit and respect would probably die laughing and leave his room forever. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 We all believed we were indestructible as children and as teenagers so this is no different. You have no idea how often I wish I could go back to being 15. I knew it ALL then..... Link to comment
dpressedone89 Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 I dont see any reason for you to even be considering this. You said your not going to go jumping in bed with some random drug-head, but you said yourself you've only kissed one guy and now your asking if its ok to give this guy a bj. You barely know him. I think the whole legality thing here has been covered, but its illegal, and i dont know about there but here he would be prosecuted. I'm not going to go preaching how your too young to have sex, i just dont think you fully understand what your doing. Having sex at a young age can cause health prolems, aside from STD's, it can cause severe depression and other mental conditions. As far as you having done drugs also, that means nothing. The fact he is doing hard drugs, shrooms are considered a VERY hard drug, just means he doesnt care much for his body. Think about it, he saves used condom wrappers, which is disgusting if you ask me, do you want your first time to be just a # to the guy? Try to think this through it's not something you want to do. -sTiTcHeS Link to comment
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