Is it typical behavior?

[Fonzman]

So I've posted before on this matter, bare with me. I have a question for the ladies (and possibly dumped on men)....

* is it typical at age 20 for a girl to leave a relationship that she herself describes as perfect and beautiful, just to go out and have fun with her friends? The reason for our breakup (her with me obviously) was she wanted to go out and fun with friends and not have to worry about a boyfirend or a relationship at this time. What in the world!!!!

Nothing dramatic happened, I've been trying every thing in the book to rationalize and make sense of what she's doing, but can't. ALSO, she hangs with a whole new group of friends, which includes lots of guys. I have no suspicions of any one guy, but.....

Without exagerating, I would have described our relationship darn near perfect. The sex, little gifts and all the little things that matter...YES I did them. So, ladies, what's up with this?

[jna35]

I am sorry that you are hurting. To be honest, she's young and it sounds to me like she doesn't want a serious committment. She more than likely wants to go out and have fun, date other people, and not have any ties. Good luck to you and go out there and find a girl who will appreciate you!

[jbutterfly2020]

Sounds to me like this "perfect" relationship wasn't exciting anymore....maybe it became all too routine and perfect for her.

 

 

She also might just be afraid to be settling down at a young age so she decided to cut it off and experiment with the single life again.

 

Just let her do what she wants and work on moving on for yourself.

[Briella]

I recently broke up with my boyfriend due to pretty much the same reasons. Sometimes it can be suffocating knowing that you have a boyfriend who will always be there. Sometimes you just want spontaneity and fun. My boyfriend and I got back together but not before a long conversation about what we are afraid of. It's scary finding someone perfect because you have just found the start of your life.

Just let her know that you want her. Give her space. Pretend you guys just met and just started dating. Do what you have to because she will realise that what you guys have is what she wants. People just take different times in learning things. Maybe a break will be worthwhile.

Don't think about it too much though. Just go along with it all and don't forget to have fun yourself. Don't wait around for something that might not happen.

[heloladies21]

I don't buy that "I don't want a boyfriend right now at all" excuse. Just her way of indeirectly saying she's lost interest in you.

 

I swear these excuses dumpers think up are so pre-packaged they must be in some book because they're always the same. I prefer the truth.

 

She can never explain why she's lost interest, it just happened. Nothing can be done. Just cut all contact so you can heal up and find someone who's serious about you too.

[SimoneTiger]

She broke up with you because she thought she could do better than you. That's why people break up with others--she would never have risked losing you if she was convinced that she would not be able to meet someone better in the future.

[MissDiddl]

I am 20. I'd never leave my boyfriend "to go out and have fun and experience new things". We can do all that together.

 

I think there is another reason behind it and she is just using it as an excuse. Your relationship just got boring and thats why she broke up with you.

[Tigris]

She's not ready for commitment she just wants to have fun!

 

There can be a lot of changes between the ages of 20-30.

 

I'm sorry but it looks like it's time for you to move on.

 

Good luck

[arwen]

It's not a typical reason, but a typical excuse for breaking up, in my opinion.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse.

[Tsunami]

Yeah, someone very close to me (adult friend) did this to her boyfriend when she was about that age, there was nothing wrong with the relationship, but she was just worried that it was too young to settle down with that one person.

 

Being in a relationship will always effect your friendships, you don't spend as much time with your friends and you end up kinda drifting appart. She probably wants to live by herself, find new people, have more experiences.

 

I hope you start feeling better, and i am sorry that you hurt feelings are such delicate things..

[Meow18]

I'm 20 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 1/2 years. I believe that our relationship is as close to perfect as it can get. I would never end what we have just so that I could "go out and have fun". I have all the fun I need to have with him in my life.

 

I'm sorry to say this, but I think there was more to her breaking it off with you than she said. To me, saying you want to be boyfriendless so that you can have more fun means that you want to be able to flirt and "have fun" with other guys. I think it's kind of weird for her to be doing if she thinks your relationship was perfect. She would be stupid to end what you had just to do that stuff. I think there was more to it than her excuse.

[brahman]

you should ask her everything she didnt like about you.

 

ask her everything she liked about you

 

personally i think maggie18 is on the right track. i think more was going on. i think she couldnt get the excitment from just one guy that she was looking for. she wants to be wanted by many guys. ever see a pretty girl and think maybe you should hit on her, date her then go back to your normal life. a sensible person wouldnt do this, its random and its only an impulse. im not for sure where im going with this, but you need to get over it.

 

there are some random people out there. i broke up with a girl because she didnt like it when i see her every day, or hug her randomly, or want her to tell me what emotion she is feeling. crazy people dont need to be rationalized.; if you could rationalize it, you wouldnt feel like you do. find somebody else and have a good time being who you are.

[Day_Walker]

I believe given her age, it is a normal response. All of this talk of a perfect relationship seems pointless because obviously those feelings are one sided, if she thought the relationship was perfect then its possible that she would have made a different decision. Its common to have these feelings of how perfect the relationship was once you break up, its all part of the healing process. Realize that she doesnt want to be with you regardless of how you felt about the relationship.

[Cecelius]

I'm not a lady, but, no that would not be untypical.

 

1) You may think its perfect but she doesn't

2) She thinks its perfect but she's a 20 yo girl. By definition she needs attention from lots of men to keep her going. That is where her validation comes from. So she may think you are the bees knees, but she needs more.

 

Just don't get feelings for any girl under 25, have a good time and you are golden.

 

And yes, she is with/has been with one of these guys by now.