Am I immature about breakingup?

[angelheart]

Hi i'm back again. Here is the summary of my story boyfriend and I had been together of 6 months. for the last 2 mo. our relationship was in a rough road. He doesn't spend to much time together. He does alot of his time to his friends. It's an on and off relationship. He compromise and try to get things back. But he failed. We have separate friends cause we have different culture. Drinking and partying with his friends becomes habitual to him and have no time with me anymore. He even stood me up whenever I asked for a date. Whenever I asked for a talk, he would run. I know he likes to breakup with me. I cornered him in school to talk and he said he is not ready and he miss me. So we are back together again. July 3rd i went to his house to have a talk again cause he stood me up again. I pushed him to breakup with me. I know he wanted to. I asked him whats wrong, if there is a third party -none. His bestfriend who is married had an affair. And this girl introduce a girl for him. He said he is not interested and she is soo goofy, and he said he would not cheat on me. I believe in him. He said everything had change since he got an order to go to middle east and he feel so helpless. He is in the military by the way, and I'm just civilian. Still there is a question mark left in my mind.Why cant we work this out? I am doing a lot of effort but he is not? why he suddenly changed? that is my question. But i trust on his words he said because I loved him so much...i let him go. Every night I cried and picturing him that he is having good times with his friends and drinking. I know he is happy doing that.

 

After a week of break we everything is very fine. He would call and email me, we talked in class like friends, no physical affection attached. So I said to myself, the answer to my question that i'm seeking for is that he just really just need some space from me. he emailed me mostly and telling that he is tied with work and would ask for a copy of our assignment. 2 weeks had past he called me up and would ask for help again for his uniforms. I was happy cause he is still treating me as a good friend, i was willing to help him but my friends stopped me. They said he already saw him with a girl in the store. Kissing and snuggling infront of them. The cashier who've i known told me they are seen everyday like this. I was shocked! he emailed me for an assignment and even telling me he is tied up with work while goofing around? and even called to help him with his uniforms while he has already a girlfriend? and that girl is the one that he said that is goofy.

 

I freaked out. I emailed him and tell him bad words/bad things that I don't want to see his face or help him or anything. Eventhough I know we broke up, I feel betrayed and cheated. Is this a natural feeling? I was seeking for an answer why he suddenly changed and I trust him to believed to what he reason out to but why he didn't tell me that he doesn't love me anymore? it means he pretend and just waited for me to breakup with him so that he can date this girl.

 

He replied back to my email and said, he did not cheat and we already broke up before that incident. He said im immature and he said bad things to me too. he did not went to class after our last email. He doesnt want to do anything with me, he said. And its my misery and he will not be drag down with my misery, it hurts me a lot how could he do that to me?? I trusted him!!!

 

Is it immature telling him stuff like he cheated and betrayed me even we already broke up? I know im his exgirlfriend now. I did just express myself because I have full of anger that he lied long way before. I felt i was so used up. need your opinion. I thought he is an angel but he is not...

[DN]

Strictly speaking it was not cheating because you were broken up - but it was somewhat deceitful.

 

But all that is not so much the issue - what is important is you deciding what you want from him.

 

What do you want from him?

[cichlid]

You're just jealous...which is completely understandable. I think the problem is he lied to you about being busy with work...that you can be angry about. Other than that...try to distance yourself from him. That will help with it all.