abused, pregnant and miserable

[suprema99]

Orange soda, This guy your with needs to be locked up. I'm sure he's got a criminal background already, if he doesn't, - he does now, cause he physically abused you.. You are getting abused on all levels. I can agree with napolian in a way, cause you have to understand that it's your fault as well for taking this abuse, Your hurting yourself in a sense. Your brainwashed by this guy. Some can respect you for loving him. I personally don't respect your decision. I hope you take alot of the advice that was givin - goodluck

[sonjam]

This is my first post to this thread, I have been away for the weekend, and I have to say, that I am hanging my head in shame for the way some of you behave here.

 

This girl did not post here about her situation to be JUDGED, INSULTED or belittled. She's already getting that at home.

 

What she is looking for is SUPPORT and UNDERSTANDING. If she thought there is nothing wrong with the way she is treated, she would not have turned to us. Abuse victims KNOW they should leave, but it is a lot easier said than done. It is not up to you to ACCUSE her of being a participant, rather than a victim. You are not standing in her shoes, or living her life. We don't know the little details, like he might the be sweetest, kindest, caring person in the whole world, and the friends and family loves him, becouse he might only turn into a beast on the off occasion, when he's had a few drinks, maybe, or he's just in a bad mood. People in this situation tend to balance bad behaviour out with good.

 

This MIGHT be the situation, or he might be threatening her with her life is she leaves.

 

I'm saying, give the girl a break, if you have nothing CONSTRUCTIVE to say, then rather find another thread to post to. Don't make everyting about YOU and YOUR opinions.

 

Orange Soda, I hope you come back to this forum, and I want you to know that whatever you decide, we are here for you, to listen to your story, to help ease the pain, and to help you figure out a way to deal with your situation. Some of us have been in similar situations to yours, and we made it out, eventually. It took me 2 years, it took Hope 5, it can work for you too. Please talk to us, and keep in contact,

 

I for one am very worried about you, and I really really am afraid for your life. I hope the weekend went well, and that you are ok.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Son nobody is insulting her. Perhaps a little tolerance of other people's opinions regarding the situation is in order. Esp since everybody here is on her side.

But she does have a responsibility to leave. Just like in every other facet of life.

The fact that people haven't lived in her shoes isn't important.

She needs to get cold, get angry (including at herself), and realize that if she stays with him purely out of love any longer she is doing it to herself.

I am confident she will make the correct decision.

[Mun]

Just thought I would let you all know that the OP has not been on for the last two days so I'm guessing she has not seen the last 2 pages of posts .

 

I hope that she took the initial advice and has found help and got herself out of there.

 

I know personally how dangerous it is to be with an abuser and how even more dangerous it is to leave. Let's keep her and her baby in our thoughts.

 

Hoping for an update from her soon.

[Meow18]

There isn't a need to start a debate over who is at fault here. Obviously the focus needs to be giving her support and advice on how to get out of this relationship.

 

While she does have the choice to leave, it takes more than just telling her that. I've fortunantly never been in a situation where I have been abused, and I can't even imagine what it must be like. Of course no one can really truly understand it unless they have been there. Things like this mess with your mind. It takes a lot to actually leave, even when you know it's what you need to do. Obviously I don't know this from experience, but I've seen it in so many cases-- the abused person knows they need to get out, but they feel like they just can't for many unexplained reasons.

 

Orange Soda, you and your child have a right to live a safe, healthy life. You deserve nothing less. Everyone has given such good advice, I don't think that there is anything I could add that could possibly help you more. I'm here to offer you my support though.

 

Your boyfriend is sick. He's not going to change unless he gets serious help and wants to change. From what you have written, it doesn't seem like that's going to happen. Please understand that your life is at a major risk here. You need to call a hotline and talk to someone close to you that you trust.