My Plan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lost in life]

Scenario 1

 

Step one: Waste away in the last 2 years of education putting in as little effort as I can continuing on through my painful/useless little life. Still thinking every hour which would be the best way to kill myself. Thinking up scenario's as I walk past high rise buildings.

Step two: Join the army, put on a brave face until live round training then take my life.

 

Scenario 2

 

Step one: Repeat from Scenario 1

Step two: Find the tallest, highest building I can and hurl myself head first.

 

 

Is it wrong for me to plan like this? I do it every day, every hour even. I'm only 16. I've got my whole life ahead of me. Well lets face it, lifes just not worth the effort, currently I'm living as to not be an inconvinience. I hate my family. I think daily about ways that I could kill my sister. I've thought about killing her in her sleep by suffication or by setting her room alight. This is how twisted my mind has become. Do I even deserve to live when I'm thinking like this? Things won't get better, I've been told since I was 12 things will get better, so far they've got worse and worse. Thats 4 years of things worsening. I don't see the point in punishing myself anymore. 2 more years. Maybe one or maybe less depending if I get bored... DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

[melrich]

Have you spoken to anyone about your feelings?

 

You really should if you have not. So many people go through these sort of stages in their lives without getting help and end up the worst for it.

 

Really these problems and thoughts are often very easy to treat if professional help is sought out.

[darkblue]

I also, strongly, agree you should get help.

 

It would take a load off your mind. Find someone you can talk to. If you can't; you must go to your doctors and tell them how you feel, they will send you to an appropriate therapy.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hi

 

i would like to say that there is nothing constant in life except change.. there is no trouble lasts forever.. every night comes the day after it.. it seems like u have been suffering from along time.. but u need to have patience and faith..

 

Dont ever ever give up or lose faith... sometimes when troubles are all around me.. and everything is really making my life painful.. i imagine my self as a hero.. who are the painful and problems comes to.. but i tell my self god chose me to be this hero.. and i must be patient and strong..

 

anyways, i can gurantee something.. just have patience.and faith.. ok this step number one.. then i gurantee that if u just waited and had patience no matter how hard life is on you.. things will get better more than u even imagine.. just try it.. be strong and ignore all of ur pains.. tell ur self u r still stronger than that.. and iam SURE things will get better... no problem if u have tons of problems and pains.. i really can feel u and telling u right now sometimes if u just pushed more harder beyond ur pains u will be very successful.. dont u worry u know that nothing on earth remains the same.. everything RISE AND FALL.

[Reilly2856]

I agree with Alwaysneedhelp: life throws you obstacles and pains for you to overcome them. There is nothing in life that can't be achieved, just need to persist, be patient and have faith in urself.

 

I know you've probably been told this a million times, but the only way you can bring happiness in ur life is if you go and seek it out. This means, getting out of the "life sucks, might as well give up...I'm worth nothing" phase and using positive thoughts to propel yourself to bring change. Start small....set goals for each day. If you see yourself slipping into depression again....seek out friends, family, anyone who u feel comfortabel tlaking to....and talk....really get all ur frustations out.

 

I say all this, because everyone has gone through stuff in our lives which seeems impossible to overcome, including myself. I struggle, but I don't let myself give up because that would be too easy and I'm worth more than that.

 

Know that you are worth more. True change begins from your heart.....the power is there, you just need to take a chance on urself. If u make the effort, THINGS will get better. Good luck.

[SadnConfused]

Hey, man. You are such a young dude. Dont ask your parents, dont tell them anything yet. Do this for yourself. Look up a person in the phone book that can help you. You would be amazed at the help talking to someone different like a psychiatrist can help you. Do not worry about the feelings you have, you would be surprised at the number of people with a chemical imbalance exist in this world. It is not your fault! Serious man, suicide is a cowards way out. I think you can develop into a fine young man and be a contributing member to society in the future. Take a step back for a minute... Think about you as a grown man... With a future, a family that you created... Going to college... Having the determination and making a huge amount of money at a kick-ass job... It has happened. Do not sell yourself short. People are out there to help you. You posted this like a man... take care of yourself like a man. You can do it. Nut up and take care of yourself. YOU HEAR ME! YOU are the only person to help YOU!. DO IT. You will not regret it and things WILL turn around, I Freakin promise you!!!!

[Spirits Away]

I like the fact that you're writing down what you'll do in the next 2 years. If you really find school painful, try to rest for a year and try to find out what you want in life, and find out who you really are. After I got to know myself, I became highly spirited. That's when I fight everyday for the route I choose while enjoying it in the process.

 

Education is suppose to be enjoyed and not some painful experience. Rest for a year, and rediscover yourself. Personal growth books will facilitate that process.