Trev38 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Well, we are back. I ended it with the other girl I was seeing and have started again with my ex. It feels great to be where I am now. We hung out together most of the weekend. We went to a wedding Saturday and had a real good time. I know this is real. I didn't force anything. I just kind of went with the flow and let whatever was going to happen, happen. We finally were able to talk and clear the air. I thought she was dating someone, but I found out she only went on two dates with the guy. That made me feel alot better. I can honestly say getting through this was one of the toughest things I have ever done, but it has also been the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's is hard for me to believe, that just a few months ago on her birthday in April we broke up. I was devastated, but I got through it. This has made both of us realize some things that we could do better for each other and will only make us have an even stronger relationship than we ever had before. I know people don't usually get back together after breaking up, and I had accepted that, but I guess sometimes they do. I am pretty sure if I would have chased her this never would have happened. Oh well, it's weird how life can turn on you when you are least expecting it, for the better or for the worse. I appreciate all the words of encouragement from everyone and will be checking in soon. Link to comment
RayKay Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Good luck...and congrats. P.S. I hope you have both discussed, resolved or have a plan to address the issues that caused you two to break up the first time around? Link to comment
Trev38 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 We have, that has been resolved. Communcation is key, I have finally figured that out. In the past I would keep everything bottled up, but this breakup forced to be more open and responsive. Link to comment
hayden006 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 wow.. I am glad that you guys got back together... thanks for giving the rest of us out there hope! I wish you guys the best of luck. I have 1 question for you. You said that if you did not chase her that this would not of happened... did that mean that you went with out NC for a peiord of time? I am hoping that I get back with me ex- we have been broken up since June and I am really bad at the NC thing... I am trying, cause I know that he what is driving him nuts... Good luck to you, I am happy to see that there is still hope out there! Link to comment
Trev38 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 hayden006, We pretty much had no contact for the entire breakup. We broke up in mid April, I called her a few times from the breakup to May the first. She told me to move on, so I made my mind up that I was not going to call her again, and I didn't. She contacted me a couple times, (you can see my old posts) in late May, but that was it. Then she started contacting me the past couple weeks. I kind of resisted at first, but now I know she is sincere, and not just jealous. I really think cutting contact is the only way to fully move on. Link to comment
Echo Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 I commend you on your maturity Trev. I am very happy to hear things worked out so well for you. It at least gives some a spark of hope that even when things do seem bleak and unresolvable...that they can turn around. However it is all in how they handle things. Even if things end on a sour note (example: your ex telling you to move on)..that things CAN and DO change...but again, it is ALL in how you handle things. Everyone is in the drivers seat when it comes to emotions...remember that. Once again Trev....great job!!!! Link to comment
hayden006 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Thanks! You pretty much made my day -- after hearing what you said I have hope. and will be strong. She sounds pretty much like what my ex is doing to me now. he told me to go live my life. --- but yet his feeling never changed. On the days that I am feeling down I am going to read your story since it helps me see the light at the end of this tunnel. I think reading what you have said has made me smile for the frist time in weeks... no more contact for me. our communcation issues are not the best. so with time apart hopefully that will come in time. Link to comment
Trev38 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 Thanks Echo. It is strange how things can change with time. You just never can tell what's going to happen. Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Trev, i remember your older posts about your breakup. well goodluck & I hope you 2 find eternal happiness this time around. -DG724 Link to comment
Trev38 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 hayden006, I do believe that nc is the best thing in these situations. Live your life for you. That's what I had to realize. I did things I wanted to do. I challenged myself to become a better person throughout this breakup, but I also had to tell myself it was over. I kept an open mind about seeing other girls, not as rebounds, but rather as a way to explore my options. Talking to my closest friends and family helped me more than anything. Part of moving on is telling yourself it is over, and if a reconciliation happens then that is great, but if it doesn't, then your just taking that next step to a happier life. Good luck. Link to comment
Trev38 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 Thanks DragonGirl, thanks for the words and take care. Link to comment
hayden006 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Thanks Trev38 -- your words are very helpful. It has been about a month, (1 week, since he stopped calling me back or not answering the phone) and I did go a bit crazy at first, but I think that from now on I am going to have to say in my head it is over and just not think or hope if we get back together. if we do great. I am 29 and he was my frist true true love. I just hope that he thinks about me. that alone would give me a peace of mind. I would have NEVER tought that I would end up on a site, like this looking for support I am so shocked how much strange people have helped me get through this. I guess since a lot of us are in the same boat it helps to listen to people who went throught it at different stages. Link to comment
Trev38 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 Just remember, it will get better. Keep talking to people and listenening. Everything happens for a reason. I know it's hard to see what that reason might be right now, but in time I think you will understand it. Link to comment
Demond34 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 hayden006, believe me he is thinking about you, even though its hard for you to believe he is. My ex g/f broke up with me 5 weeks ago. For the first week and a half, i did the pleading and give us another chance bit. She was cold and mean. Told me to move on and all that other stuff. I constantly was asking myself, how could she not care in the snap of a finger. Well after some thinking, i decided it was best for me to be supportive of her decision and asked her to meet up one last time before she went looking for a place and a job, so we could exchange some stuff. Instead of asking for a second chance, i told her she was a strong girl and that she should go make herself happy. After 2 weeks of NC she called me, i then told her that she shouldnt call me anymore or contact me in anyway. Needless to say shes been calling everyday since and we are starting to hang out. Take it for what its worth Link to comment
DN Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Good for you Trev - well done and I hope all turns out well for you both. Link to comment
hayden006 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Demond34 --- Thanks for the advise, After 2 1/2 years, I would hope he thinks about me. I am going to try and turn the table around. and make him start calling me, wonder what I am doing. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT! ... after talking to all of you, I still have hope in this world. Before I started coming to this site, I really just wanted to curl up and never wake up. everyone here has helped me believe in myself. Link to comment
misslonelyheart Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Hi, I am hoping for a reconciliation with my ex, so it is nice to hear that it has happened for someone else. I hope everything works out for you. Link to comment
Sophia99 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Hi Trev Great news! It's happened to me recently too and although we're taking it slowly (at my request - he proposed!) I'm having the time of my life. Everyone - stick with NC and look after YOU first. It's really hard but while he was constantly contacting me I did nothing to respond. I went to the gym, found a new job, saw my friends. It was really hard and I'd go home and cry every night. Then I saw him with another girl just a few weeks ago and it finished me off. But whatever, seeing me made him think, the girl is history and we're back together. Good luck all of you. Trev - all the best. xxx Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Yes friend, just be careful. She has set a precident that she will dump you so it's going to have to take a long time for her to truly gain your trust again. Link to comment
tman Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Once again congrats trev and u too sophia99!!! Its definitely good to see that its not all doom and gloom out there. I wish u guys the best of luck. Tman Link to comment
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