What to say?

[ksk0_0]

My g/f and I most of the time always run out of things to say.

She recently game back from a trip, and so I asked her

 

"how was it?"

g/f: explanation under 3 minutes

"cool, ni~ce, so what'cha doin for the weekend?"

g/f: tells me her plans under a minute

"got your weekend planned out eh?"

g/f: confirms

 

and I've out the whole weekend as well - but the thing is, we stay on phone 10 minutes tops, and when we're together - I just don't know what to say anymore. before it was fine but now it's just "??????"

 

help?

[caasiopia68]

that always happened to me... (when i had a g/f, and she was very interested in me by the way)... best case scenario- she was tired or didnt feel like talking or something... hopefully thats your case... just try to keep leaving her things to say... try taking her out sometime...

[easyguy]

Dude, if she is explaining how her trip went you could have ask about it more in detail, like (hyptothetically speaking of course):

 

Her: Oh I went fishing, too.

You: Cool, did you catch anything?

Her: Nope. Close, though.

You: Was it a big fish?

Her: Sort of. Couldn't really tell.

You: Oh well, fishing is a tough game. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Her: I also got sun burnt pretty bad.

You: Ouch. It must have been really hot there then. Where'd you get burnt?

Her: On the arms mainly.

You: That's such an easy spot to get burnt. Did you use sunblock?

Her: Some, but it didn't do too much.

You: Sunblock is pretty useless sometimes.

Her: Yeah it is.

You: So besides getting burnt, did you do anything exiting?

Her: Well...

...and the conversation could go on.

 

The italisized part is all about one part of her trip. You can stretch things out if you pay attention and key in to what she's saying.

 

Instead of just sitting there listening to her, you could have asked her questions about it instead of letting the minutes go by. I'm sure she would have loved it if you asked her some questions about the trip. You could go on forever if you know how to segway the conversation. And it shows that you're actually paying attention to what she's saying, and that you are showing some interest in what she did.

 

If you don't ask any questions about it of course the conversation isn't going to last very long. It's not even a conversation! It's a monlogue.

 

In any conversation she'll always be giving you chances to go more in depth.

[btbt]

Or, don't put too much pressure on having conversation. In the beginning, like on the initial dates, silence is uncomfortable, but as you get to know each other, those silences can be a signal of how comfortable you are with each other.

[goddess23]

assuming you guys are a couple since you said your gf im assuming this isnt tooo young of a relationship (ya no wat i mean). now the thing is if you guys cant have a decent itneresting converstaion to be honest i think its a problem. i mean if you guys cant communicate well on either phone person or msn then that means theres a problem. your partner should be like your friend! okay for example in my case my bf is quite quiet and im very talkative so ill talk and he'll listen and give feedback and he also has alot to tell me, its just natural if you're genuinely interetsed in the other person. sometimes you just simply dont connect on that level and to be honest it wont last very long. really thers little you can do. you could try asking more questions to get her to talk more or osmething but i suggest just let it flow. hopefully soon you guys will be able to hit it off tha way otherwise one of you will get bored if not both of you. thats why its best if you start off as friends first like just talking

[loveydovey]

Well, my tip is instead of making it seem like a question answer session, try to dwell on a particular 'set' for as long as possible.

 

For example, when you asked 'How was it?' and then she explained, try then to say something related to what she did. Perhaps you or someone you know has a 'story' that's relavant.

 

When you asked 'What are you doing for the weekend?' and then she explained, try telling her how interesting that sounds or how fun that sounds. Then that could lead into you talking about what fun things you like. Then that could lead into what fun things you did as a child..... See where I'm going .

 

Keys to Remember:

 

1. Don't hop questions too much. Dwell for as long as reasonably possible

2. Flow naturally, (eg. weekend to fun to childhood to games to theme parks to locations to cities to places you've visited....)

3. And finally, don't think too hard about it

 

HTH!!!

[Markers]

easyguy gave good advice how to show that you're interested in what she was doing, if you do that correctly, she'll think you really care (and you don't have to directly tell it.. which is nice)

 

Although, if she seems too tired to talk etc. then the worst thing you can do is to go enquiring questions like that. She thinks you're an idiot who can't understand that she wants just to sit around in quiet (with you.. but no talk)

 

Try to get it flow. If it doesn't.. don't push it. If it was your first date, you're screwed, if you've been together for long, silence is sometimes nice.

 

I'd be worried if it happened constantly (and she wouldn't want to hang with yout so much)