Is it fair?

[King_Of_Fools]

A couple of questions here that I am seeking an opinion on. I'd prefer the opinion of the ladies, but guys, please feel free to put in your two cents as well.

 

I work two full time jobs. I have an 11 year old son. So, between the jobs and the boy, I have very, very little free time. I usually keep one night during the week open to spend with my son, and see him one day on the weekends. Weeknights, I'm usually home by about 10:30 and in bed by 12:30-1:00am. So that gives maybe 2 hours a night open. I have now been single for a year and a half since splitting up with my ex-wife. It's been a very lonely road to say the least. I am in dire need of a companion. I miss the closeness, the friendship, the intimacy, everything about having someone by my side.

 

My question here is: Due to the extreme lack of time I have, is it fair to start a relationship? I mean she'd have to be a night owl, and have a job that would allow her to stay up with me. Can you even have a real relationship spending that little time together?

 

My other question is have never been on the dating scene. My ex and I were together for 8 years. I have had 3 serious relationships, but they all happened with someone I knew. So, I've never had to pursue a total stranger. I am a little bit shy, especially around people I don't know. I know where to go to meet my kind of girls, just not what to say, do, or how to act. Any advice other than just be yourself? I plan on going to where these lovely ladies congregate as soon as I get some free time to do it. I will be going alone since my only friend is a married woman. So, no "wingman" to aid in my ventures. (Do they even work anyway?)

 

Any opinion, thought, or suggestion is welcomed. What could it hurt for a guy with no experience like me? Thanks!!

[Jetta]

Well as far as meeting someone, I tend to find that when I'm looking nothing happens when I'm not things happen. So I can't offer any advice there. Heck if you go the grocery store, or even on regular errands you can run into someone. You just have to work up the nerve to say "Could I get your number to give you a call sometime?" When you meet someone you peaks an interest.

 

Working all the time will make it harder to meet someone, but you do have time to spend together. Not everyone needs to see someone constantly, oh sure some people are needier, but there are also more independent types. Just like you plan time with your son, you'll have to plan time with this person. And eventually when you're more involved with this person (living together or married) you can quit working two full-time jobs because you both can work. Then you will have more time for fun and family.

[shes2smart]

Well, with your schedule, it might be a little difficult, but not impossible.

 

As long as you are honest about what you're looking for and what kind of time you have to invest right from the start, then she can decide if that works for her or not.

 

Since you are so pressed for free time, have you considered a dating service (either online or a brick & mortar business)? Personal ads in the local arts/entertainment paper are also another option to meet others. If you're in a larger city, you could also try one of those "speed dating" nights as a way to meet others who are also looking.

 

Just one other comment...since you spend so much time working, it might cross your mind about dating a co-worker. I'd suggest (from personal experience) you avoid that. There's a reason the saying "Don't get your honey where you get your money" exists. Things can get way too complicated rather quickly. Best to keep a pretty thick wall between "work life" and "personal life."