He said his Ex girlfriends Name!

[heyguys]

OK wow, I have used this site before for my EX bf...but now months later i have moved on and i have met a great guy who has been just amazing. We connect so well, and I can say I do love him. He has dated alot but only had 2 relationships, which he admitted since the beginning he cheated on them. His last gf was a year ago and he had a life changing accident (coma, thereapy) and he vowed he has become a new man. His ex left him during this time for someone new. He didnt blame her, before his accident he just treated girls badly, but after his accident he just wants to do things right. So he met me a yar later...which was four months ago. He said he thought he was in love with his last ex samantha, but after she left he realized it wasnt love. We have now been dating almost 5 months. he tells me he loves me and so do i. he said he needed someone like me to show him what real love was like. buuuuuut i had insecurities that he told her he loved her too, then realized he didnt. well the topic was just forgotten about few weeks ago. Last night we talked, just like normal, and he called me by her name. I was so hurt i was speechless. I dont want to be hurt again a relationship. He said he was sorry a zillion times and no it didnt mean anything that it was accident and no they dont talk or anything. he said he didnt know why he said it at all! he was so mad at himself he made it seem. he then said maybe cuz he was watching a laker game that evening, and she loved lakers...but i dunno..what should i do. how mad should i get? please advice..

[punchy504]

she blipped accross his mind (and subsequently right out of his mouth) he wasn't trying to hurt you, and all of us at one time or another have an ex pop up in our heads wether we want them to or not, and it sounds like he may not have been paying very close attention to the conversation or he should/would have caught himself before he said it.

 

 

I would chalk it up to one of those things that happen for no good gosh darn reason, and take it slow with him

 

I am sure he did not mean to hurt you

[ian]

You shouldn't let it get to you.

The last girl he was with WAS a part of his life for some time and she left him when he had his life changing experience. It wasn't his fault that she did and its a memory that is still with him.

 

He treated women badly before but as you said he is a changed person.

 

He made a mistake thats all. A silly mistake caused by a memory he had kno control over, like you said he was watching a laker game.

 

Don't throw something so beautiful away.

It will haunt you till your dying day.

[BellaDonna]

he called me by her name

 

Ouch!

 

Well I'm sure you're upset, but in his defense, I sometimes mix up names unintentionally. I've called my husband my sister's name, if I just got through talkigng to my sis on the phone- I've called my cousin my husband's name if I was talking to her but thinking about my husband briefly. It only happens to me when I'm tired or in an absent-minded state.

 

He may have thought of her briefly and then slipped by mistake. It doesn't necessarily mean he was thinking passionate, loving things about her either. It could have been something, boring, resentful, or just plain average.

 

I would not take it too personally, unless he makes a HABIT of it, or if he says it IN BED.....

 

Don't read too much into it or it will drive you crazy.

 

BellaDonna

[heyguys]

i appreciate all your comments and adivce/opinions.please i am open to more commetns or even people who have experience with this

[kskm]

I agree with the rest, I wouldn't get too upset.

I have called everyone someone else's name. It's not on purpose, or that I'm in love with them or want to be with them or anything, I just have a glitch in my brain sometimes that's like hey why don't you make an a$s out of yourself real quick.

I probably would have made fun of him.... like if he asked me for something be like what? I couldn't hear you derek... I mean ___ and then laugh.

[mattj]

mistakes like that could happen far to easily- i would very much doubt that it makes any change in how much he loves you however- it could be interpreted as a freudian slip but to be honest i think that maybe its just because he is so used to the old relationship- im sure it is nothing to worry about though he has just goe through a tough time is all i think

[Hope75]

If he shows you in every other way that he does love you and you really believe in that love, I would chalk this up to a little mistake and forgive it.

 

As long as you can see that he is really trying and seems committed to you and you feel you can trust him, try not to worry about it too much.

 

If you have other trust issues with him, you should try and talk those out and find out why exactly you feel like you can't trust him,

[Iceman26]

They call what he did a "Freudian slip"

 

It sounds like hes been honest and upfront with you, I would give him another chance. I would also ask him if he has any personal unresolved issues with his ex that may have caused him to be thinking of her.

[ecg1228]

Don't let it bother you - I almost called my current b/f by my ex's (whom I haven't seen in years) name and it would've meant nothing b/c I am totally in love with my current b/f and have absolutely no feelings for my ex. It just happens. I remember arguing w/my ex constantly when we were together and I had a habit of repeating his name over and over. If me and my current b/f have that rare argument I almost slip the ex's for that reason and no other. It means nothing - sure, it still stings, but don't worry about it - I'm sure he is horrified, ESPECIALLY if he doesn't even care for the ex. He wouldn't want to lose you over someone who is just a blip in his past.

[darkblue]

Talk to him about it [in a civilized way]

 

And move on. Get over it. Pass it. Leave it. Dig and burry it.

 

You just have to take it as a mistake.

 

If you trust that he wouldn't do anything with this girl, Then you have nothing to worry about.

 

But certainly talk about it.

[birdgirl]

I wouldn't hold it against him. I almost called my bf by an ex's name recently, and I haven't even thought of that ex in years. I have zero feelings for him... so I don't know where that came from!

 

I also once called one of my exes by a random guy's name... I'd never even dated anyone by that name, but it came out of nowhere.

 

Weird that it happens, but probably doesn't mean anything.

[heyguys]

ok, so if it is a "Freudian SLip" then that means he was thinking about her, and i just dont know how much he does think of her honestly, or if its a big deal. i found a definition for "freudian slip" : -->The Freudian slip is an error in human action, speech or memory that is caused by the unconscious mind. The error often appears to the observer as being casual, bizarre and nonsensical. Example--lightbulb joke example:

Question: "How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?"

Answer: "Two! One to turn the bulb and one to hold the penis. Err, ladder."

[heyguys]

WOW after many many months the truth comes out! He admits she had been texting him that day wanting to "meet up" for dinner and catch up...why did he lie about it?! after so long!! i dont know what to think. she was texting him that day and thats why he called me her name? what a mess... what would u do or think??

[BellaDonna]

Did he actually meet up with her behined your back? Is he still talking to her now?

 

It sounds like he still hasn't healed from his last relationship- I'm not sure if he can truly make a good boyfriend to you under those circumstances. He won't be able to give you 100%. Lying is a whole other issue on top of that.

 

Is he hoping for her back? What you don't want to be is his "insurance" relationship.....

 

 

BellaDonna

[eleanorrigby1]

oh I really feel for you, I really do, I sent you a private message too because I have been in the situation in the past and kinda got paranoid that i was in it again but am dealing with this as MY issue and just paranoia.

 

Mnn I dont know what to say because past experience leads me to believe this is a bad thing. sorry

[heyguys]

no he said he didnt meet with her god this is terrible!

[AwdreeHpburn]

ok - breathe.

 

Maybe you should step back from him for a bit and tell him you are giving him time to think about what he wants.

 

And then listen to and trust his answer. If he makes another "freudian" slip or another mistake - cross that bridge then...